As we all head out, Jasper slings an arm around my shoulders, his voice dripping with amusement. “This is gonna be a disaster.”
I groan. “Tell me something new.”
We pile into two cars, Papa Shane’s SUV and Lee’s sports car. Felix calls shotgun on Lee, leaving me stuck in the back of the SUV with Papa Shane and Jasper in front.
My former best friend tries my nerves, adjusting his seat so it nearly crushes my knees. “Cozy back there?”
I shove it back with a scowl. “Go to hell.”
Papa Shane chuckles from the driver’s seat. “You two behave exactly like my daughter and her cousins.”
“Well, if Ras keeps acting like such a baby, maybe we should be shopping for him instead.”
“Funny,” I deadpan. “Really, hilarious.”
Papa Shane shakes his head, amused, as he pulls out of the player parking lot. Lee and Felix follow close behind, probably already arguing over what ridiculous things they are about to force me to buy.
Five hockey players walk into a baby store.
It sounds close to the start of a bad joke, but it’s my reality.
The automatic doors slide open, welcoming us into a pastel-colored battlefield masked as a store where people can buy everything they need and more for kids. The walls are lined with stuff from cribs to car seats and burp cloths. It’s overwhelming to the max.
Jasper exhales loudly. “Holy shit, it’s even worse than I imagined.”
“Look at all this unnecessary crap.” Felix whistles. “Babies are high maintenance as hell. Remind me not to have one.”
“You’ve no idea.” Lee, our resident new dad, shakes his head. “Alright, Ras, where do we start?”
“Um, nursery basics, I guess. A crib, dresser, changing table, or whatever else I need to make Haisley’s guest room baby friendly.”
The only one taking this remotely seriously, Papa Shane grabs a store catalog from a nearby stand. “You’ll need a sturdy crib.One that’ll last. Your kid’s gonna grow fast, so one that can be adjusted for a toddler could work.”
I grab a cart, and we walk to the wall with different bed options. Felix flips over a price tag in a random one and winces. “Damn, these things cost more than my first car.”
“But they’re worth every cent unless you want your baby sleeping in a box,” Lee crosses his arms.
“Actually, every baby in Finland gets a baby box from the government, including an actual box many babies sleep in during their first days,” Jasper shares.
I knew our dear Eastern neighbors were a bit strange, but a baby box takes it to another level.
We all ignore him and continue browsing the options. Felix grabs a random plush elephant from a display. “What’s the theme of this nursery, anyway? Jungle? Space? Classic Scandinavian minimalism?”
“The theme will bemy son sleeps here.”
Jasper clicks his tongue. “Boring.”
“I agree,” Felix says as he shoves the pink elephant in the cart. “Congratulations, Ras. You’re now the proud owner of a nursery elephant.”
“Put that back.”
“Are you denying your son joy? Wow. He isn’t even here yet.”
I ignore him, stopping to look at a row of cribs. Lee and Papa Shane, our seasoned professionals, are already inspecting the different models. Meanwhile, Jasper and Felix veer off, drawn to something in the baby toy section.
Sighing, I run my hand over my face as I watch them wander off like unsupervised children in a candy store. I had no idea they would be so into this little shopping trip. At least the other two keep me on track with their helpful recommendations and tips.
It takes us another hour, thousands of dollars, and lots of laughs to find everything Papa Shane and Lee thought I would need for now. Not to forget the random items including a mini hockey stick, baby-sized Peacocks jersey, and a stuffed octopus Felix told me baby Westerholm needs. He surely knows how to spend someone else’s money.
