“You better not,” she teases, but I can hear the warmth in her voice. “And Rasmus?” I hum, so she continues. “I’m glad Farrington got what he deserved. But no more fighting after tonight. My nerves can’t take it while pregnant.”
Her playful tone makes me laugh for the first time during the call. “Deal. See you soon.”
To calm myself after the call, I fish out the ultrasound photo I carry with me everywhere from my wallet. I trace the baby’s little features, thinking about how they’ll look. Will they have my brown eyes or Haisley’s beautiful light green ones? They better get her cute nose over my bigger one. Perhaps their hair will be as dark as mine instead.
But who knows. Genetics are weird.
We lose by one goal. And it fucking sucks. Especially since I’m responsible for tonight’s result. My fight with Farrington flicked the switch, changing the game dynamics completely.
Once my team starts filing in, nobody says a word. Felix gives me a pat on the back as he passes, but beyond his act of kindness, no one speaks. The mood is somber, and I hate being the main reason for it.
As I’m getting ready for the ice bath to calm down and heal my muscles, Jasper pauses at the door. “How’s your hand?”
The adrenaline dulled the pain earlier, but now that he mentioned it, the throbbing ache makes its presence known.
“It’ll be okay,” I say with a shrug, flexing my fingers to prove my words.
“You hit him pretty damn hard.”
“I said it's fine!” I shout, standing beside the tub. “You should fucking learn to listen and leave me alone.”
Jasper doesn't leave, though. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not really,” I mutter, avoiding his gaze.
Taking a deep breath, I dip my first leg into the icy water. The second one follows, and I sit down. The cold is a shock to my entire system. But I welcome it. I close my eyes, hoping Jasper takes the hint.
“You can’t ignore me, Rasmus."
My eyes snap open, and I glare at him as he gets into the ice bath beside mine.Does this guy think we're besties again, or what? Why can't he let me be alone?
I let out a frustrated sigh. “Someone leaked the news about the pregnancy and it’s all over the hockey social media. This was exactly what Haisley was afraid of. Now she has even more reasons to move out of my place.”
“And you want her to stay?”
“Of course,” I huff in annoyance. “You heard what I told Farrington. I meant every single word.”
“Does she know about your, um, deeper feelings?”
That’s a loaded question. I’ve tried my best to show how I feel. And then there was the talk we had earlier today. But does she really know how I have fallen for her? I probably should’ve said something way before now.
“I take your silence as no,” my teammate chuckles, shaking his head. “I'm starting to see what the issue is.”
“Fuck,” I mutter. The cold is making its way deep into my muscles, but it doesn't stop the frustration bubbling inside me. “Why is it so hard to express what I want? I’ve said a lot to her, but not the most important things.”
“You’re asking the wrong person. I hid my feelings for years and then took it out on you.”
I chuckle humorlessly, remembering the time he broke my nose. “And I did the same to Farrington. But at least they didn’t give me a long suspension.”
“They wanted to make an example out of me. Fighting has gone down in the League since then.”
“Yeah,” I agree, my mind briefly wandering back to tonight. “I think tonight was the first fight in weeks.”
“True,” Jasper says and lets the silence hang between us. “You shouldreallytalk to her.”
I scoff. “What if I say the wrong thing?”
Another what if I hate.
