I turn away to gather myself. I can hear him leave the bed and stand right behind me. What I’m not expecting is him wrapping his arms around me in a calming gesture. “Okay, let’s take a deep breath, honey.”
My eyes fill with tears as he makes me feel cherished in this moment. I do as he suggested and calm my breathing.
After a while, Jasper speaks again. “I’m sure there’s a pharmacy in the village. We can go together. How does that sound?”
I nod as I can’t find the words. How could I have been so stupid? This is very unlike me.
“It’ll be okay. I promise you that, Vivian,” he kisses my cheek.
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“Not being a douche about it.”
He lets out a humorless laugh. “I don’t know what type of men you’ve dated before, but I always take responsibility for my actions. And if you were wondering, I get tested regularly for the League.”
“Yeah, I got tests done after I broke up with my ex, so it’s all good.”
“Cool. Let’s get freshened up, and then we can go.”
I walk to the bathroom for a quick shower to wash away any remnants of last night’s activities. The warm water soothes my tense muscles, but my mind still races with anxiety.
What if I get pregnant? What if we made a baby last night? How do I combine my life with having a child? What then?
My career is just starting to take off after years of hard work, and I’m not ready to be a mother yet. It surely is a dream of mine in the future, but not right now. Not to mention that I met Jasper less than a week ago.
With all the thoughts filling my head, I get out of the shower and dry myself off before putting on clothes. My heart is still pounding as I meet Jasper in the bedroom.
“Are you ready to go?” he asks, looking at me with a mixture of concern and guilt in his eyes.
“Yeah, I just need my winter coat,” I reply, taking a deep breath to calm myself down.
We are lucky that the nearest pharmacy is only ten minutes away by car. The drive there makes me feel like every person we pass on the way knows what we’re about to do. I can’t shake off the feeling of embarrassment—I should know better.
Once Jasper parks the rental, he reaches for my hand and turns to me. “What if I go and get the pill, so you don’t have to get out of the truck?”
“They’ll recognize you in there.”
“I know you’re worried about that, but right now, you’re my main priority,” he assures me.
I smile sadly. “Don’t forget to buy condoms so we won’t need another trip here.”
He chuckles, kissing my forehead. “I’m glad you still want me even after what happened.”
“It was both of us in that bed last night, Jasper. You can’t blame yourself for what happened. We were both drunk in lust and didn’t think about our actions.”
He lets out a sigh. “But I want to protect you and make you feel like you’re safe with me every damn day. I failed at that.”
“After you get the pill, it’s yesterday’s news, and we can move on.”
“I’ll be just a minute,” he says as he opens the door. “Any condom preferences?”
“Ooh, I enjoy the feeling of dotted or ribbed condoms.”
“Let’s see if I can find those.”
Jasper kisses me once more before getting out of the truck. And I sit there in silence, thinking how this could have been much worse. But if the events in the past half an hour show anything, I can trust Jasper to put me first, even after we mess up together.
