What a big word indeed.
It's only you. Nobody else will ever compare. Nobody. You’re the only person I think of when I go to sleep and when I wake up. But once I found someone like you, I didn't want to let go. Stupid me, I never said a word before this year. Now I’m way too late, and maybe you will never forgive me.
My heart will never have a chance to feel love again if you don't get back to me as you have it now.
You were and are always on my mind, Maggie. No one else but you.
I promise you all my tomorrows instead of my forever. At least until you heal me more, then I might give forever another chance.
For now, it’s hard to believe in forever when all forevers that have been promised to me have been short. But I hope one day soon you change that.
Until then, I’ll be thinking about you every single day. Even if it slowly kills me inside.
Yours,
Eli
P.S I know how much you love music and lyrics. These songs reminded me of us while I was driving to see you, for one reason or another.
Always on My Mind by Pet Shop Boys
Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol
Don’t Ever Leave by Smile Empty Soul
Don’t You (Forget About Me) by Simple Minds
Maybe by Sick Puppies
P.P.S Check the other side for my phone number.
29
ELI
After reading the letter, my cheeks feel wet and my nose is running. No wonder my voice wavered. This is the first time I’ve cried in front of someone else in years. And there’s nothing I can do to stop my tears after releasing all the feelings that have been inside me for years.
Looking at Rose, her eyes match mine. She brushes her thumbs across my cheeks. Her touch makes everything feel better in a matter of seconds. She gives me butterfly kisses where my tears ran down only a moment earlier. I repeat the same with her. Then I take her in my arms and hold her tightly against me.
“How did you even find me, Eli? Only my family knows where I am,” Rose wonders as I hug her tighter.
“Believe it or not, I first traveled to Belchester and talked with your dad. I thought you would be there, but of course, it wasn’t that easy. He hinted that Santorini might be the place where I can find you.” I laugh between my tears. “It didn’t take Poppy long to find your mom’s hostel. So here I am. However, it did take me too damn long to get here because the best flights were booked full. But I would doanythingfor you, Rose.”
She looks at me with wonder in her eyes. “I still can’t believe you’re here.”
I know the feeling all too well. “I can’t believe it either, to be honest. It all seems like a dream after being separated from you.” I wipe more tears from her face as she processes my words. “The thing is, I wanted to apologize the moment I left that kitchen in my beach house. But I had no idea where to start as there’s a lot to say.” I clear my throat and take a sip of water from the bottle on the nightstand.
“I get it, Eli, I do. But why did you lie to me?” Rose questions me.
“Trust me, gorgeous, hurting you was the last thing on my mind when I decided to lie by omission. When I decided that I wouldn’t talk about Corinna and her claims with you, I made that decision for mostly selfish reasons. Sure, I wanted to keep you safe, but at the same time, I didn’t want her to ruin what we had. I didn’t want to think about my past because Corinna is a mistake from the time I would like to forget.”
This is much harder than I expected. I’m choked with emotion. It makes me feel beyond overwhelmed and I can’t speak clearly. Taking another deep breath, I try my best to tell her what I realized during my flight here.
“I was also afraid that I can’t be what you need right now. Not with my messed up past that has made me bitter and untrusting. Since my parents died, I haven’t truly trusted anyone but my sister, her family, and the guys. Not before I met you. But you changed it all with your caring, loving touch.” I need her to understand. “I already left you once as I had no other option. We needed to get out of Belchester. I thought you would contact me after reading my letter. That just never happened—”
Having difficulty talking due to the strong emotions that have taken over me, I whisper the rest. “Rose, you changed me and my life for the better for the second time this summer. I never knew how happy I could be before we reunited. And that’s the truth.”
Minutes pass, and we don’t dare to move or speak. We just sit there and go over everything. We discuss the letters, being apart for all those years, the secrets and how we feel. I tell her how I feel and she listens. When it’s her turn to talk, I do the same. Then, finally, Rose says four words that make me want to cry again.
