Today’s song:You Are My Sunshine by Johnny Cash
Once, we found a small butterfly with a light coloring inside our house with my Grandma Lou.
It couldn’t get out of our upstairs bathroom because the window was closed.
It just flew around in circles trying to find its way to freedom.
Then it flew out right away when we opened the window, and we never saw it again.
I feel like that butterfly right now.
I sometimes think that hopefully, someone will help me, and I get to be free again, just like that butterfly.
Would you please make me your butterfly?
But no, there’s no one to help me.
I’m just stuck here in one place, panicking about how I’m never getting out.
If I could fly, I would fly hastily around this room.
There’s nowhere else to go right now.
They don’t even let me walk around the burn unit.
As my nurse, Mark, said one evening:it would be too much for a girl like you.
I wonder if I was stronger, would they allow me to walk around?
These hospital walls feel like they’re closing in on me.
Everything smells weird.
People in other rooms sometimes scream in agony too.
It’s like my worst nightmares became a reality here.
I just want to go home where I can listen to Grandma Lou singing instead of the screaming patients.
My nurses try to act calm about it all.
They tell me that everything is fine and there is not much to worry about.
It isn’t like I don’t hear them.
The others.
People who have suffered even more than I have.
Their daily agony is taking its toll on me too.
I can tell when they’re getting their treatments or injuries cleaned.
It’s hard to decide whether people who have extended nerve damage caused by the burns are lucky or not.
They don’t feel much pain when treated, but it would suck in the long run.
I heard rumors that they might lock me up after my injuries heal enough.
