I bet Eli’s hands feel even better than they used to seven years ago. They are big, strong, and calloused just the right way after his years playing guitar and doing labor-intensive work growing up.
Having him on my mind, I pinch my already perky rosy nipple between my thumb and forefinger. It feels too damn good to touch myself after the day I had. Honestly, I love my body like it is. It’s what has brought me to this point in my life.
While repeating the same with my left side, I feel relaxed. Finally, once I have given my ample bosom the love it needs, I start moving my hand lower and lower. Feather-light touches on my stomach make me want to go lower faster.
I am reaching for my vibrator when I feel something wet on my skin.
What the frog was that?!
Before I realize what’s happening, I feel a damp nose touching my bare stomach again. I jump up hastily and cover myself. Staring at Pickles, I let out a harsh laugh. He must think that I am playing with him instead of myself.
Geez.
I can’t even have a well-needed orgasm without a complication today. To say that my day has been such an emotional roller coaster would be an understatement. I feel like I’ve been through a meat grinder of emotions. That or a cement mixer. Whichever feels worse. I shouldn’t search for an answer for that online.
Walking to my bathroom to wash my hands and brush my teeth, I start giggling. I just can’t believe today happened. It all seems dream-like, as I thought earlier.
Once I am ready for sleep, I slowly walk to my bed. Pickles has burrowed under the covers on the other side of it after I freaked out earlier. I slowly lift the covers so he doesn’t get any jumpier after what just happened. He looks at me with his beautiful round blue eyes, and I can’t be mad at him. He’s just a sweet kitty who has no idea about human masturbation.
I relax once again, lying in my bed with the hairless cat and feeling his body heat.
And all my dreams are starringEli.
The grown-up version of him.
6
ELI
It’s midnight after I get home—another 16-hour day in the books. The last person I expected to see today was Maggie Summers. Now I just have to remember to call herRose.
She’s changed over the years, yet she’s the same. There are many other things in my mind, but I can’t stop thinking about her, that girl from my dreams who grew up to be a stunning woman with witty comments and intelligence that beats many people I know.
I turn the TV on and make myself a midnight snack. Sitting down and taking a huge bite of my food, I glance at the screen. A documentary on a hospital’s burn unit is playing, but I'm not fast enough to change the channel. The images they show on the screen make me want to hurl. I toss out the rest of my peanut butter banana toast and press the button to turn the TV off. I hate to waste food, but my stomach can’t handle eating right now. The hospital they showed is just like where Rose was for weeks when I couldn’t do anything to help her.
Driving down Redwood Lane, our old home street, I always checked for movement in her room. Rose was our neighbor next door for years. I often wondered what she was doing—knowing her, she studied, watched a TV show, or read romance novels.
Every time I ran into her, she acted shy and avoided my gaze. Her cheeks blushed in a deep shade of red I still haven’t seen anywhere else. It started this tightening sensation in my chest—what a shame that she liked to be alone or with her Grandma Lou back then. Sometimes when I am jerking off, I still think of her.
Rose, not Grandma Lou.
Her curly hair like fire, those intense eyes I’ve seen a handful of times closely, red cheeks, and pouty lips drive me wild. Seeing her perfect Cupid’s bow made me want to lick it again, just like I did years ago. I would be blind not to notice how her curves are even better than in high school too. She’s all woman now, and I’m here for it.
What am I even thinking?
She isn’t mine, even though I wish otherwise.Women like Rose don’t fall for guys like me. She’s the one who has it all figured out.I’m a fucking mess wrapped in glossy paper for the world to judge. I can do nothing to make Rose see me differently after the past we shared. I bet she still lives in her little fairy tale, and it doesn’t have a role for me even if I have waited to be cast since I was a teen.
We only spent one incredible night together and had a bittersweet moment in the hospital. Then she disappeared from my life for years that were the longest of my life.
* * *
Seven years ago
Sitting in my car outside the hospital where Maggie is staying, I take deep breaths to calm myself. I know that I shouldn’t be here. But I can’t leave her all alone. It just isn’t me. If I care about someone, I show them.
It was shocking to discover her injuries and how she needs multiple surgeries to fix her hand. I still can’t believe that she ran into the burning building just because of me.
What have I done to the one girl who means the world to me? Can she ever forgive me?
