“Ah,” Chef Guilia looked thoughtful. “Perhaps you’re so used to receiving negative attention, that you feel like when it’s not there, there’s something missing. I can assure you, I am very aware of everything that you do.”
Tay felt themself flush and ducked their head.
“No no, mi tesore, don’t hide from me.”
“I feel like a cabbage head,” said Tay. This was all slightly too close for comfort. They’d messed up, they understood that, but they’d craved Guilia’s attention so much that they hadn’t known what to do.
“You were a little bit of a cabbage head,” agreed Guilia.
“So how do I change it?”
“You voice your wants and needs, and we see if I can meet them.”
“Okay.” Tay balled their hands tightly into fists and scrunched their eyes shut. “I can’t do it if I’m looking at you,” they said.
“Take your time,” said Chef Guilia, her voice soft.
“I want to be yours.” The words burst from Tay, and once the floodgates were open, they didn’t know if they’d ever be able toclose them again. “I know that you’re my boss, and we probably can’t date, but you’re kind and funny and hot, and you look out for me the way that no one else has ever done, and I wasso awfulbecause I thought that if I couldn’t have you then maybe it would just be best if I pissed you off so much that you didn’t like me anymore. And then I could just leave and put everything behind me and I’d never have to think about this ever again.”
CHAPTER 4
Guilia
Guilia had had no idea that Tay had been feeling all of that.
“Tay,” she said softly, her heart breaking for the Little in front of her. “You should havesaid. I thought that you were just bratting me. I didn’t know that you wanted…” She took a deep breath and tried again. “No. That’s not entirely true. But I was aware of the power imbalance between us and didn’t want to push you into something you weren’t ready for.”
Tay made a noise that was half-hiccup, half-giggle. “What are we like?”
“Indeed,” said Guilia. “Well, now that you have said the things… I would not like it if you left Rawhide Ranch. You are the best part of my day.”
“I am?” Tay’s eyes were wide with surprise. “I thought I was just annoying.”
“If you were just annoying,” said Guilia, “I would have told you to stop, rather than make sure your favorite flavors of ice cream are always in stock.”
“Huh,” said Tay. “I really misunderstood all of that, didn’t I?”
“Yes,” said Guilia. “You really did. And in the future, I expect you to tell me when you are spiraling about something.”
“It’s hard,” explained Tay. “My ADHD makes my RSD—my rejection sensitive dysphoria—so much worse. It means that even the slightest rejection can hit me like a wall, and my emotions overwhelm me. I know logically that I’m being ridiculous sometimes, but I can’t always tell when. It’s just easier not to say anything.”
Guilia looked at Tay and then nodded toward the toilet that they’d just thrown up into. “I’m not sure that’s entirely true.”
Tay pulled a face and got up, offering Guilia a hand. “Perhaps not.”
Their eyes were an enchanting green, and Guilia longed to lose herself in their depths, but not now. Not without boundaries and discussions and the aforementioned punishment. “So, I don’t quite know what the best punishment is, right now,” she admitted. “It feels wrong to kick whatever we would like this to be off with a punishment, but at the same time it is what you expected.”
“It is.” Tay looked sheepish.
“Perhaps,” said Guilia, an idea coming to her suddenly, “You should pick your own punishment.”
Tay looked skeptical and more than a little hopeful.
“I would trust you to pick something that you know befits such a prank, taking into account the chaos you wrought, the mess that ensued, and the amount of disrespect you showed for me and my work.”
As she spoke, Guilia could see Tay’s shoulders drooping. “It’s okay,” she said gently. “I’m not angry; I’m just disappointed that you chose to do this instead of coming and speaking to me.”
“But that’sworse,” wailed Tay. “Are you kidding? I don’t want you to be disappointed in me.”
