CHAPTER 28
Guilia
The last thing Guilia wanted to do, the following morning, was go to work.
When she awoke, Tay was curled up in her arms, bent like a right angle so that their bare tush met Guilia’s front. Even when Tay’s alarm went off, the two of them groaned and snuggled up for a bit longer, hitting snooze on the alarm.
Eventually, they dragged themselves out of bed, Tay padding into the bathroom for morning ablutions, and Guilia setting breakfast up for them both. Nothing fancy, just espresso and a morning pastry.
Tay threw on clothes and mumbled under their breath about lie-ins and days off, and Guilia would have assumed that they were actually cross if they weren’t used to morning grumbles from them.
But when Guilia was getting dressed, she thought back on the night before, and before she could stop herself, she was calling Lily.
“Morning Chef, is everything okay?”
“Si, si.But could you cover my shift today and run the kitchen? I’ll make sure to sort the rota so you get an additional day off in return.”
“Of course,” said Lily, and she sounded as curious as Tay looked, staring at her as she spoke on the phone.
“Is everything okay?” they asked, and Guilia nodded her agreement.
“I just have some things to sort out. Have a good day at work, tesore.” She kissed them then, and that had them heading off to work quite happily.
Nothing in their demeanor even hinted at what they’d exposed to Guilia the night before. That sometimes they didn’t really think that they deserved things. That they felt that they had to earn their place in this community.
It tore at Guilia’s heart and she wasn’t entirely certain what to do about it. So she’d come to speak to the head of Rawhide Ranch, Derek Hawkins.
She was let into his office by Erika, a tiny pixie of a woman with twinkling eyes and a frightening amount of efficiency.
“Chef Guilia!” Derek rose as she came in and gestured toward one of the large leather chairs in front of his desk. “How can I help?”
“Signore Derek.” She nodded and sat down, and there was a long pause between the two of them.
“Are things going well with Tay? Are you having second thoughts about the dynamic?” Derek sounded concerned, but not judgmental, and Guilia was grateful for that even if he had the wrong idea entirely.
“No, no. Our dynamic is…” she sighed. “It is quite marvelous; something I could never have even begun to imagine for myself. I am very happy with it.”
“So then…?” The question hung in the air between them, open-ended.
“I think that Tay does not have a very high opinion of themself. Of their ability to make excellent pasta? Absolutely. But they don’t think that they deserve good things, as if they have to earn friendship and community and joy. And I just don’t know what to do about it.”
Derek looked thoughtful. “You’d never know; not even their application suggested that. So you’ve come to me for help?”
“I have an idea,” Guilia admitted, “but I don’t know how feasible it is.”
“Go on.”
“It’s hard to remember all the good things about yourself sometimes, so perhaps we could speak to the other members of the Ranch—the Littles and our kitchen team, and just everyone that Tay comes into contact with on a day to day basis—and ask them to write something down that they like about Tay. In a book or something.”
“That’s a very thoughtful idea,” said Derek.
“Kind of like a Little Book of Worth. That way, when they can’t remember their own value, they can read what other people have said, and remember that there’s plenty of people out there who value them.”
There was something akin to a tear in Derek’s eye, but it was blinked away before it could fall. “When Sadie first came to the Ranch, she was… she had experienced some not so good things. It’s one of the reasons why she embraces every Little who arrives here wholeheartedly. I just know what a book like that would have meant to her at that time.” He leveled a look at Guilia. “If you ever doubted your ability to be a Daddy, this one moment should prove to you that you are absolutely an excellent Daddy.”
“Si?”
“Yes. You saw beyond the pranks and mischievousness to the vulnerable center that somehow Tay has managed to hide from almost everyone. And you’ve come up with this wonderful ideato help build them up.” He stood then and offered Guilia his hand. “I am very very impressed.”
