Ever and Isat directly across from one another in the smaller of the two dining rooms. The bigger one seated twenty and had a large table with nine chairs on each side. There was a chair at the head and the tail, totaling twenty. We’d chosen the smaller dining room that seated six. It was still far too much room but we were making it work.
“So, your hard boundaries and revisions,” she mentioned as she forked a piece of the steak that I’d cut into small, uneven chunks for her.
Ever had already finished off her potatoes, broccoli, and lobster. With our mouths full, conversation was light. She’dtalked mostly about her girls, one of which I’d had the pleasure of meeting, and she was everything her mother said she was.
“My boundaries are simple. Allow me to lead while you follow. Trust me, and I don’t mean when it comes to cheating and dishonesty, because you’ll never have to worry about that shit. I’m thirty-six. I’m ready to sit down. Build some shit. Trust me to love, protect, provide, and lead. Domestic violence or abuse of any kind; I don’t play that shit. We’re adults who have the power to control our emotions, words, and hands. Then, there’s the loyalty and the respect. No need to explain either of those.
“As far as revisions. You’ve basically told me that because another man fucked up, I can’t be the very man that I was raised to be. I understand living in separate spaces until marriage. I also understand wanting to remain employed so that you’re always in a position to bounce if that’s what you choose to do. But, you won’t, so most of that shit doesn’t apply to me. Coming into this with so many restrictions and preconceived notions — such as you even needing an emergency stash to leave — isn’t fair to me. I’m coming to you with a clean slate.
“If I brought my past with me, then shit would look much differently, Ever. I’m not grouping you with the others. The ones who don’t even know what the fuck loyalty or respect means. The ones who want your paper and will stick around as long as it’s flowing. The moment it stops, they’re gone with the wind. Fair is fair. Given I respect you for not giving me the chance to disappoint you but you’re not giving me much of a chance to love you the way I want to, either. You’ve been putting your desires out there since I walked into that restroom earlier. I’ve listened and observed, and I will give you whatever your heart desires. But, what about me?”
She chewed another piece of steak while staring back at me, taking everything I was saying into consideration.
“What about my desires? Because if they’re not met at all while yours are being met, then this simply turns into exactly what you just got out of. The only difference is, you’re not the one worshipping without reciprocation. It’ll be me. And instead of you taking the pain, you’ll be the one dishing it. You’ll always get the long end of the stick and what do I get?”
“You’re right,” she admitted, eyes falling to her plate as the realization sat in. “Maybe it is a little selfish.”
“But, it’s human. It’s an honest response to the trauma you’ve faced over the years, so I get it. But, I won’t let you do that to me.”
“I won’t.”
“So, let’s meet in the middle. Continue staying at Lyric’s or even let me put you and the girls up in a secured high-rise, full-serviced so that when you don’t feel like doing laundry, you don’t have to. I’ll pay the rent up for a year with no stipulations. If we don’t work out, then we don’t work out. You’ll have a year to stack your paper and move wherever you want once your lease is up. All I’m asking for is a key to come and go as we both please.”
“I don’t know, Luca. I don’t feel good about that idea.”
“Fine. Then if you’d like to stay at Lyric’s, then do so but spend some of your nights here with the girls. Divide your time so that I’m not sleeping alone every night.”
“I like that idea.”
She needed control. She hadn’t had control over her life for so long that she was desperate to control every aspect of it now.Noted. Strong-arming her wouldn’t work. It was important to make Ever feel as if she was in total control. And I would, but only by giving her options that I was OK with and letting her choose. This way, she was still in control but I still got exactly what I wanted. It would always be a win for us both.
“I’m a provider. I understand you want to keep your job, but I also want you to understand that you won’t have to spend ared cent from now on. Your expenses are now mine. This isn’t a control method, Ever. Not for me. My father would kill me if I did things any differently. And you don’t owe me for shit.”
“Luca, I don’t know.”
“Would you rather keep my cards for use or me give you a set amount each month that should last you and the girls until the following month?” I gave her the options, knowing they were both favored in my head.
“Both,” she replied, not choosing either.
“How much do you think you’ll need in a month? Not to maintain the life that you have now, but to start living the life that you deserve?”
“Maybe a thousand dollars.”
“You like the wine you’ve been sipping?”
With a baffled expression, she nodded.
“Good. It’s a thousand dollars, Ever. A bottle of that every week will automatically put you over the four thousand dollar mark. Please, don’t insult yourself like that.”
“Ten thousand dollars.” She switched it up.
“Fifteen. Your wardrobe will change, and I want you to be able to afford it as you acquire the new taste.”
“That’s enough to get a new place,” she revealed.
“If that’s what you want.”
“Maybe in a month or two. I have to find something close so the girls won’t have to change schools.”
