“I just need a minute,” I explained to him with a sigh.
“For what?”
“Because I need a minute.” He frustrated me with his persistence. It was as striking as he was, keeping me in a chokehold.
“To waddle in shame that is completely unnecessary?”
“It’s not that simple, Luca.”
“Listen, if you were sitting on your ass not doing shit, I still wouldn’t look at you any differently because you’d deserve it. A nigga is supposed to make sure that you don’t have to lift a finger. But since that isn’t the case, you’re hustling the clock, and I respect you even more for it. Money is money, no matter how you get it. That shame you’re feeling right now, ball that shit up and toss it in the garbage because it ain’t ’bout shit from my standpoint. If you like your job, then I love it. If you don’t, then I got something else in mind for you. Just say the word.”
“The word,” I said without flinching.
“Giving me your undivided attention.”
“What?”
“That’s the job. And, it pays well. Starting bonus includes a fully furnished, fully paid for pad, a new whip, and unlimited credit card usage.”
“I can’t,” I told Luca, lowering my head in my hands.
“Keep your head up, Ever. I’ve told you this already. And, why not?”
“Because my independence means more to me than you know right now. I just left a man who made it easy for me to be a stay-at-home mom and not have to work, but not working kept me tied down to him for so long. I just got my freedom and it includes being financially stable, without a man’s help.”
“I’m not that nigga, Ever.”
“I know. Trust me, I know you aren’t. I feel it. I just can’t risk my sanity banking on a man again. I won’t do it. I have children to consider and their happiness means the world to me.”
“Let me help.”
“By offering me money and worldly things? The best thing you can do for me, Luca, is have patience and understanding. I’m a mess right now, and I’m trying to clean myself up. I don’t know what that looks like on a day to day, but I’m trying.”
“Trying is enough.”
“I thought about you fucking that girl all night and all morning. Did you?” I wasn’t sure where the question had come from, but I needed to clear my conscience. So, he needed to answer me.
“I didn’t.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m waiting for you. You the only person I’m trying to fuck in the future.”
With a chuckle, I responded, “Can you use another word? That sounds so, I don’t know.”
“Fuck, make love… same shit, Ever. I’m trying to slide up in you again and again and again. Is that better?”
“I don’t know.” I laughed, finally giving him my eyes.
“Be ready around seven, tonight. I’m taking you out.”
“Are you asking me or telling me?”
“I’m telling you because I’m not giving you another chance to tell me you aren’t ready. I know you are. Ready enough, at least.”
Knock.
Knock.
