The thought of Luca’s hands and mouth on someone other than me had me tight in the chest. Images of him penetrating the girl he’d met at the bar had awakened me from my sleep.I’m not ready, I’d told him. I didn’t think I was, but I couldn’t explain why I wished it was his bed that I’d awakened in and not my own.
My mind raced back to the valet booth where he wrapped his arms around the beautiful girl with the long, voluminous weave and sickening shape. There was no denying her of anything. She was the full package. From afar, she looked so well put together, and I didn’t miss the Mercedes that she hopped into right after we’d settled into our vehicles.
She had her shit together. So did Luca. I could tell from the home he had built from the ground up, the community he lived in, and the lack of stress being released had caused him. I wasn’t sure how he’d made it happen, but he’d come home with seemingly as much as he’d gone in with. I wasn’t a fool. I knew illegal activities were involved, and I’d promised myself I wouldn’t date a man like that again but Luca was different. I could feel it. He was for me. Yet, I was sleeping in his sister’s extra rooms, driving a used Avalon, and working as a waitress.
There was so much work that needed to be done on my end. I refused to sit at anyone’s table empty-handed. I’d done that before and that’s how I’d gotten abused financially for nearly a decade. That wouldn’t happen to me again. Couldn’t. If I ever decided to walk away from whatever it was that Luca and I built, I didn’t want to walk away empty-handed, nor did I want to end up in his sister’s spare bedroom.
Going back to sleep wasn’t an option, so I decided to shower and rinse the remnants of the night off. The sun’s ascend had begun, leaving a beautiful pinkish yellow hue across the sky. Sighing again, I lowered my back until I felt the pillow underneath me. As I stared at the ceiling, I discovered the feeling I’d been avoiding for the last forty-eight hours.I miss my girls, I thought. Going an entire week without seeing their faces was insanity, and I simply couldn’t commit.
I didn’t mind them staying over at their grandmother’s, but I needed to see them, and I didn’t mean later. I wanted to see them as soon as possible. There was no doubt in my mind thatmy mother was awake. She woke every morning around five. It was routine for her. That’s why she was always napping by noon and back up around two-thirty in the evening.
I grabbed my phone and placed a call to her immediately. Before I left out, I wanted to make sure the girls didn’t need anything from home. I was sure my mother and James had gotten them everything they needed and more, but I wanted to be certain.
“Hello?” she answered her cell.
“I’m going to take the girls to school this morning. I’ll be there by seven-fifteen.”
“Are you sure? You really don’t have to.”
“Yes. I miss seeing their little faces. You can pick them up this evening. I just want to drop them off.”
“Alright. I’ll see you in a bit, then.”
“Do they need anything?”
“Yes. Emorey has been talking about her baby named Sky that she misses. If you could bring her, then that would be great.”
“Yes. I can definitely bring Sky.”
I smiled thinking of how much Emorey must’ve missed her favorite stuffy. She and Sky slept together every night. Emorey took Sky everywhere around the house with her except to the bathtub.
We ended the call, and just as I was about to begin getting ready, my phone pinged. It was a notification from an unknown number I’d never seen before. I opened the message that they’d sent and wasn’t surprised to see that it was Dewayne.
Bring me my fucking kids, bitch!he’d sent. With a roll of my eyes, I deleted the message as soon as I’d read it completely.
“Yeah, I can’t put this off any longer,” I thought aloud.
Dewayne didn’t give a damn about Emorey or Essence. I couldn’t recall a single time he’d made either of them a priority, not even during their births. Because he swore that labor took far too long, he’d suggested I called him when I was almost ready to push. Foolish enough, I’d done so with Essence, but when Emorey came, I didn’t even bother.
When my water broke, I drove myself to the hospital and called Lyric while I was on the way. She boarded the first flight she could find and made it to my hospital room an hour before I pushed Emorey out. Dewayne didn’t return to the hospital until it was time for me to be discharged. He hardly even gave Emorey a second look and didn’t keep Essence during my hospital stay – neither did Pam.
I was on my own, always had been when I was with Dewayne. Now that I was taking heed and really out of their hair, suddenly they found interest in my girls. It was ironic and borderline hilarious.
Responding wasn’t even a thought of mine. I dialed the T-Mobile hotline instead. I couldn’t put off changing my number any longer. It was time to revoke my ex’s access to me completely. Luckily, we were on central time. It was already seven eastern time.
“Change my number,” I spoke to the automated machine that asked my reason for calling.
Two minutes later, I was connected to a live representative.
“Thanks for calling T-Mobile. Can we start with the passcode on your account?”
I pulledup to my mother’s house to get the girls, feeling like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. It was insane how muchbetter a number change had me feeling. Before getting out, I was sure to text the new number to Lyric. Besides my mom, she was the only person who I wanted to have the new number. Everyone else could wait until I was ready.
When I stepped onto my mother’s porch, I could hear Emorey’s little voice as she tried convincing Essence to watch her. I was almost certain that she wasn’t doing anything spectacular, but she was always wanting all the attention.
“Watch this, sister!” she yelled.
My mom had opened the storm door, allowing me to see through the glass door upon entry. Emorey bounced toward the door, not knowing I was behind it. When she finally realized I was watching her, she jetted for the door, running straight into the clean glass and hitting her face.
