With every ounce of strength in me, I lifted my right arm and hooked it around his neck. I pulled him closer until his face was flushed against mine. My safe haven. He was exactly that.
“I love you,” he whispered in my ear. “We’re going to get through this shit, baby. Just stay strong for a nigga, aight?”
“Okay,” I rushed out through the tears. “Okay.”
“You’ve got this. Everything is going to be okay.”
“Can you stay a while longer?” I requested, although I knew that he’d much rather be out searching for our girls.
“I can do that for you, Ever. I have everybody onboard and looking for the girls. It’s only a matter of time before I get the call.”
“Okay.”
“You need anything, baby?”
“Just you.”
He lifted, gently kissed my swollen and busted lips, and stood tall at my side. When I felt his hand on my stomach, I closed my eyes and savored the feeling.
“What we gone do with three of these things and a fucking dog?”
“The same thing we’re going to do with four and five and six,” I told him.
Luca and I had the conversation often. Both of us wanted as many kids as I could deliver before I became too exhausted and ready to give up my childbearing days. Because I’d always been the only child, I’d known for a very long time that I would have a big bunch so that none of my children ever felt the loneliness I did growing up.
“Where is everyone?”
I noticed the room was dark and eerily quiet.
“Ken is right outside, and Lyric went home to get some rest. She’ll be back up here in a few hours. For now, it’s just you and me. Is that alright with you?”
“That’s perfect.”
We’re just missing our girls, I thought, but didn’t voice.
“How are you doing, Luca?” I wanted to know. Since I’d known him, he’d always managed to compose himself well. Nonchalantly, almost as if nothing in the world had the power to sway his mood. For once, I knew that his composure was masking something deeper.
“I’m feeling like any man whose children have been ripped from his arms would feel. I’m sick to my fucking stomach, Ever,” he admitted.
Swallowing the painful lump in my throat, I tried nodding. It only resulted in pain.
“But, they’ll be home before the night ends. I’ll bet my last dollar on it.”
“I know they will be.”
We fell into a comfortable silence, both of us preoccupied with our thoughts. Visions of the girls being loaded into Dewayne’s Yukon continued playing in my head, making me feel ill. I wanted to blame myself for leaving them alone in the car, but I knew it wasn’t me to blame for Dewayne’s actions.
He was a coward, and he’d wait in the shadows for however long he needed for the opportunity to take them so it was only a matter of time, regardless of what I wanted to believe. He’d come to Channing for one reason. He wanted to hurt me and hurt me badly. Without a doubt, he’d succeeded, but unfortunately, I wasn’t the only one he’d hurt.
“I can’t risk losing you, Luca. I can’t risk you going back to prison. I just want the girls back,” I broke through the silence to tell Luca. The last thing I wanted was him leaving his family again because of my bullshit, neither did I want him leaving us. Our little family needed him, too.
The thought of raising our children without him was repulsive. He deserved his freedom, and I refused to believe that Dewayne was worth losing it. He was a peasant that didn’t deserve anything, not even my daughters to call his own.
“I can’t overlook it, Ever, and I’m not going to explain myself to you. Whatever happens, happens. He’d already signed his death certificate when he crossed my city’s limits with hurting the ones I loved on his agenda.”
As he concluded, his cell rang. Without even answering it, he looked over at me and smiled. It was the first time I’d seen him smile since the day prior when we parted ways in the early hours before taking the girls to school.
“It’s time to go get our girls. Get some rest,” he told me.
