“So Luca humiliated you at our father’s party!” Vincenzo says with his fists clenched, loosening his tie a little.
“That’s not the problem, you don’t understand!” I say desperately. “The problem is that everything he said is true; I’m just a disaster waiting to happen. A time bomb that could explode at any moment and embarrass you and the whole family. I’m not good enough; I never will be!”
I feel my eyes sting, and the tears keep rolling down my cheeks. My brothers are standing in front of me with an expression I can’t quite make out. I let my body fall to the ground and stare at the pile of white fabric around me. I don’t know how much time passes, awaking from my thoughts only when the door is shut in a big slam. The family’s make-up artist and hairdresser walk in quickly, carrying a long red dress and closingthe door.
“I could give you a whole speech and try to get it into your pretty little head that everything you’ve said and they say about you is a lie. But we both know that it won’t do any good right now. So, Chiara, get up off the floor, put on the dress they’ve brought you, get ready, and leave this bathroom with your head held high. That’s your duty, you know that, Mancini never demotes themselves!” Lorenzo says calmly and coolly, extending his hand to me; I take it and stand up, nodding slowly. A MANCINI NEVER DEMOTES HERSELF. I let the make-up artist and the hairdresser approach me, watching my brothers leave before they help me out of my dress.
I check myself in the mirror, and I see a strong, confident woman. My hair that was once pinned up is now loose with waves and a few diamond stars scattered all over it, my make-up is heavier, my eyes are black and well-defined, highlighting my green eyes, and my lipstick is blood red. I don’t look like I was crying desperately just a few minutes ago, not in that long red dress with a full-length slit, the neckline that, although modest, still catches the eye, and the fabric hugs my waist, emphasizing it; I don’t look like a spoiled princess, I look like a queen.
I leave the bathroom with my head held high and a relaxed face. I feel all the eyes falling on me, but mine are only on one person, Luca; I want to show him that he didn’t bring me down; he hasn’t affected me. He may even call me a spoiled princess, but this princess is made of ice, and no one is going to make her melt. I walk toward my dad, who is looking at me, confused. I smile at him and make it look like this was always the plan.
“Wow, Chiara, you look…” he says, still looking at me, perhaps worried that I’ve taken off the dress he chose for me.
“I think the word you’re looking for is dazzling, Daddy!” I playfully say, smirking, leaving a kiss on his cheek and seeing a smile appear on his lips.
Suddenly, the lights go out, making me jump and grab him, letting go only when the familiar melody of the Happy Birthday song reaches my ears. A large cake is placed in front of us, with the candles lit. My brothers are next to us, and I can see Mom and Grannie smiling at us; I happily smile back, and Grannie winks at me, looking at me as if she could read my soul and know all my secrets. I wink back, grinning, because I know that even the worst of my secrets are safe with her. As soon as the candles are blown out, the noise of the fireworks explodes everywhere, sending everyone scurrying into the garden; I watch the waiters take the birthday cake outside.
But I can’t move; I stay in the same place as if my feet were rooted to the floor. I look up where the chandeliers hang, large and imposing. Deadly, all it takes is for one wire to come loose; if just one of those chandeliers falls, if the position is right, I could die in seconds, and then it could all be over. It’s annoying that most of the times I just need everything to stop. Sometimes, I just wish that everything would stopindefinitely until everything gets better, maybe definitively.
“Did you decide that pretending to be an innocent princess wasn’t enough anymore?” I hear a voice from the distance and gradually getting closer, knowing it’s Luca who’s speaking. I remain still, contemplating a possible tragic death.
“Yes, I think you’re right; I think that’s how villains are born…” I declare, finally looking at him. He stares at me, raising his eyebrow and confused, making me smile because I can finally see something beyond his icy exterior.
“What do you mean?” He asks in a whisper, as it’s just the two of us in the room, making it easy to hear.
“From accusations or ill-considered words, I’ve always felt that villains are just misunderstood; you’re just the villain from someone else’s point of view, and life is made of choices. You decide which side you want to be on; I remember readingsomewhere that“If only all women knew their power of seduction. Perhaps many wouldn’t be out there suffering for love. There are still women who haven’t realized the power they have over a man’s mind. They haven’t noticed that they’re capable of driving them crazy without the slightest effort. Women should pay more attention… Only she, “exclusively, “has the power to both uplift and ruin a man’s life!”.He looks at me inexpressively, clearly not knowing what I’m getting at. “I think you’re right, Luca; as much as I try and want to, I’m not a good girl, so maybe I should just let myself be carried away and ruin several men’s lives.”
I don’t let him answer; I head outside to the garden with just one thought in mind: if it’s a villain they want, it’s a villain they’ll get. I have my head held high and a superiority look on my face, look around, feeling the prying eyes of men toward my body, and I smile. I’m going to ruin them until they’re all on their knees and have no way of hurting me, ever!
Chapter 5
When the party ends, I headed to my room, brushing away the stars stuck in my hair along the way. I can’t get Luca out of my head, not even after several glasses of champagne. The way he looked at me when we were alone made it seem as if his gaze was penetrating my soul. It was frightening and familiar at the same time; his strong features and cold eyes, somehow, despite all their coldness, seemed to conceal warmth. I take my dress off and plunged into the tub of hot water that awaited me, letting the oxygen escape from my lungs and closing my eyes, focusing on not breathing the water, focusing on time. When my lungs start to burn and my head starts to scream, I open my eyes and see him in front of me, that look in his eyes that seems to be able to read me; I quickly pull my head out of the water and take a deep breath, feeling the oxygen scratch my lungs. Why am I thinking about him? Why does the way he looked at me before he left seem to torment me? He’s nobody to me; he humiliated me, made me feel like nothing, a villain, and yet I’m still thinking about him, trying to understand him.
“Chiara wake up honey, it’s lunchtime!” I hear Granny’s voice, but I don’t dare open my eyes; my head hurts like hell; I mumble something incomprehensible and stretch out on the bed. Chiara, come on. Everyone’s downstairs, andwe’re going to eat soon.
“I don’t want to; my headhurts!” I moan, making Grandma laugh and take the blankets off me, making me open my eyes immediately. I cover them with my hands because of the brightness in the room.
“No one told you to drink champagne like there’s no tomorrow; now get in the shower; I want you downstairs in thirty minutes at the most and presentable, please; we have guests.”
I get out of bed lazily after hearing the door shut and drag myself to the bathroom, quickly taking a cold shower. I look at myself in the mirror and groan in disapproval; I look awful, with puffy eyes and dark circles, as well as some traces of makeup still on my face. I quickly do my basic makeup and put on my red lipstick, put on a skirt and top, delicate sandals, spray a small portion of perfume on myself, and I’m ready. I look at the clock on the bedside table and see that half an hour has passed. I rush out of the bedroom and down the stairs, practically running, hearing voices coming from the dining room.
“So, little sister, how’s the hangover?” Vincenzo asks loudly, making my head almost explode, and everyone in the room laughs. I look around and notice the De Santis family sitting at the table; I feel Luca’s gaze penetrate my skin, and a shiver travels through my whole body. I look at the empty seat in front of him, grimace, and sit down on it.
“I’m not hungover, you idiot!” I say grumpily and with a slightly hoarse voice, making everyone’s eyes move in my direction.
“That’s not what your face says, dear!” says Grannie with a complicit smirk. “I also have had my moments of exaggerated champagne; enjoy life, my angel!”
“Thank you, Grandma!” I say with a smile on my face, feeling Luca’s gaze on me. I try to look anyone but him. I can still feel his stare burning into me, and I look at him with his beautiful, icy complexion, staring at me without even blinkingas if he was trying to enter my soul and seek out my darkest secrets to use, one by one, against me. I feel uncomfortable; he seems to notice and smiles ironically, making my whole body shiver.
The next thing I know, dessert is being served; I’m not sure if I’ve eaten or what was discussed during lunch, but all I can pay attention to is Luca; the way he looks at me takes all my attention. I look around, and the conversation seems to be going nicely, but I can’t hear a single word; his eyes are still on me, like an eagle about to strike. I look at him, and he shows no reaction. I realize that someone is calling his name because he finally moves his eyes to something other than me.
“I’ve always thought that our families should forge an alliance; I talked about it with Luca last night!” Henrico said with a solemn look on his face as if what he just said was something completely trivial.
“An alliance? I thought this alliance already existed; after all,SalvatorWeaponshas beensupplying theCamorrawith weapons since your father was stillCapo!” Dad says in a relaxed manner, slowly bringing the glass of wine to his lips and sipping it calmly without showing any emotion on his face.
I look at everyone around, and suddenly, it seems that the atmosphere has changed dramatically, becoming denser and without any smiles, as if everyone knew what was coming next, everyone except me.
“Yes, of course, and the Camorra has always valued our dealings, but now, as Capo, I think the alliance should be stronger!” Asserts calmly and impassively.
