“That won’t happen; I won’t let it happen; I made you a promise that I would always come back to you; that also includes never leaving; I won’t ever leave you!” I nod, trying to dispel the nervousness I feel; I look at the food in front of me and feel my stomach lurch, pushing it away from me slightly. “Eat Chiara!” I look at Luca, and he doesn’t seem to want to give up. “Please eat.”
I nod and take a forkful of risotto into my mouth, watching him nod his head in satisfaction. I feel Bella’s gaze on me, and I smile in her direction, trying to appear calm. She doesn’t seem to believe me and watches my every move during dinner.
“Henrico, I’d really appreciate knowing your thoughts on the wedding.” My father’s voice is calm, but I can see the tension in his muscles as he speaks, making me even more nervous. Don Henrico lets out a small laugh and picks up his wine glass, taking small sips in a calm manner.
“I have to admit I’m curious too; what’s it really about, Dad?”
It seems that everyone is curious; I think that’s enough suspense.” he looks at Lady Milena, who smiles at him and holds his hand affectionately. “After the events of the last few days, Milena and I talked about our future, the future of this family. I became Capo early, at the age of twenty-six; I was already in power, andI always thought I would rule the Camorra until the hour of my death. But after the last attack, after being stuck in a wheelchair, I realized that maybe I’m no longer the Capo that the Camorra needs. The Camorra needs new blood, someone strong to rule, and that is no longer me. A Capo must be strong, capable of fighting and defending his territory and his men, and unfortunately, I’m not as capable as I once was.”
“Where are you going with this? You’re not making sense, Dad. A wheelchair doesn’t make you any less capable.”
Don Henrico laughs, looking at his wife with a raised eyebrow. “I told your mother that you would say something like that. It’s not about being capable, Luca; I know my limitations, and I also know what’s best for the Camorra, and right now, the best thing is for a new Capo to take over and for me to leave the scene!” His confession makes me lose my breath, the strong man who rules the Camorra with iron fists doesn’t think he’s enough, not anymore. “What I suggest is that Luca takes over as Capo before the end of the year!”
“I apologize for asking, but why should we be part of this conversation?” I look at Lorenzo in surprise that he has spoken; I look in my father’s direction and see him nodding, clearly waiting for an answer.
“When a new Capo takes power, he must ensure from the outset that he will continue the lineage, thus ensuring the future of the Camorra.” I feel Lady Milena and Bella’s eyes on me, and they seem a little unsure. “Which means that Luca must be married to take his rightful place.”
I look at Luca, but he is staring at his father, looking a little tense.
“So what you’re suggesting is that my daughter and Luca get married later this year?” My father’s voice comes out a little louder than usual, making me look at himandtry to calm him down, but he’s not looking at me, but at the Capo of the Camorra, with an unfriendly face. “That wasn’t the agreement, Henrico. Chiara is finishing her first year at university; the agreement was for them to get married after she completes her degree.”
“I know that Salvatore, but circumstances have changed; I won’t be able to be Capo for much longer, not like this. Luca has to take over, and he won’t be able to until he’s married.”
“I will marry Chiara, only Chiara! Salvatore is right; this wasn’t the deal, and if Chiara doesn’t agree, I’ll respect her decision, but I won’t accept a new bride; I intend to wait until she’s ready to get married.”
Luca’s words make my heart race, and I reach under the table for his hand, squeeze it lightly, and I get a small caress on my hand in return.
“It looks like the decision is in your hands, Chiara!” Everyone looks in my direction, and I can’t say anything. “We can transfer you to a university here in Rome; we have great fashion courses, andyou can finish your degree.”
I look down at my hands, fidgeting nervously, thinking about everything I might lose. I won’t be living with my best friends anymore; I’ll be leaving behind the college of my dreams. I look at my brothers, and they look tense; I can finish here, after all; Italy is also a great country to study fashion. I glance at Luca, and I could live with him, get to know him better, but then there would be no turning back; even if we realize that we don’t work out, it will be until death do us part. I twist my engagement ring on my finger and look at the man who put it on me, and I know he’s the one; I know he’s the man I want to marry.
“Okay!”
“What do you mean, okay?” I look at my father, who seems worried and waiting for an answer, perhaps a justification.
“I’ll marry Luca this year!” I look at my fiancé, and, like everyone else, he seems surprised by my answer.
“Chiara, you’re sure you can think about it for a while. You’re only eighteen amore mio, will you get married at nineteen? Don’t you think you’re jumping the gun?”
“I want to marry Luca, Dad; it doesn’t bother me if it’s sooner!” I love him; why should I bother marrying the man I love? I look at my father, knowing that I shouldn’t tell him that if I do, he’ll try anything to stop the wedding, to stop my heartfrom breaking because of a love that isn’t reciprocated.
“Chiara, I really think you should think again; this is not a decision to be taken lightly! You know that the mafia doesn’t accept divorces; think carefully about what you’re accepting and the implications it will have on your life!” The way Lorenzo speaks makes everyone stare at him, and the atmosphere becomes uncomfortable; Don Henrico doesn’t like his words, and Luca looks tense. “You don’t need to get married; in fact, you never did; it’s not as if you need this marriage to be who you want to be; we have all the means for you to do whatever you want.”
“Lorenzo, that’s enough; we’ll talk more when we’re home!” Despite his annoyance, Lorenzo listens to my father, raising his arms in surrender. I feel his gaze on me, and I know he thinks I’m making the wrong decision.
“Can we talk alone?” I look at Luca and nod slowly, watching him get up.
I get up and follow him out of the room, feeling everyone’s eyes on us. I know my brothers aren’t happy about this proposal and would probably follow me if my father didn’t stop them. I go into Luca’s room, closing the door behind me. I see him walking around and ruffling his hair slightly, looking nervous; I follow him with my gaze, waiting for him to say something. I wait for what seems like an eternity, but nothing.
“Luca?” He seems to have finally woken up from his thoughts, looks at me a little lost, and comes toward me, holding my face between his hands.
“Why? Why did you agree to get married now? Is this really what you want? Are you just going to let them steal your youth?” I stared at him, confused, not knowing what to say, feeling his eyes on me, searching my face for an answer. “Do you just want to leave everything behind, what you envisioned for your college years to marry me?”
I look at him, trying to study his face, to read it. “You don’t want to get married, is that it?”
“My God, don’t think for a single second that I don’t want to marry you. What I want the most right atthis moment is for you to finally and completely be mine. But you’re eighteen, Chiara, your father’s right, you’re young, you might regret it. I don’t want you to give up everything you’ve dreamed of for me because if one day you do, I’ll never forgive myself for putting you in this situation!”
“I chose to accept Luca; no one is forcing me.”
