We enter a door inside the office where I was with Luca a short time before; Francesco leads us up some narrow stairs, and the atmosphere is dark and cold. I hold the end of my dress, and Lorenzo offers me his arm so I don’t fall. I hear screams echoing through the immense corridors of the basement. The walls are dark grey, and in the narrow corridor, there are several doors, as well as corridors that lead to other corridors, looking like a real labyrinth. As we get closer, the screams get louder; I feel my body shudder, and Lorenzo’s eyes are on me. I ignore my anxiety and keep walking. Francesco stops in front of a black door and looks in my direction, clearly noticing me shaking.
“You don’t have to go in if you don’t think you can handle it; no one will know you haven’t seen it like this. Dead men don’t talk.”
I take a deep breath, trying to muster up the courage to walk through that door. I know I don’t need to that none of those present will tell anyone that I didn’t go in, but I need to prove to myself that I’m more than just a scared little girl. I’m going in.
Francesco stares at me for a few long seconds, perhaps waiting for me to give up or making sure I’m really ready. Assoon as the door opens, I see blood, a lot of blood all over the floor, andthe screams are hardening. I look up to see that man tied to a chair, completely covered in blood; his face is almost unrecognizable, cuts fill his body, as well as severe burns. I lift my eyes a little more, seeing Luca, with small drops of blood smeared across his face and neck, his white shirt soaked in the gooey liquid, in an intense red color, his sleeves rolled up, and his arms and hands covered in blood, with not a small millimeter where you can see the real color of his skin. He slowly approaches me; I look into his eyes and shudder at the explicit violence they reflect. He stops for a second, expecting me to move away and not allow him to come any closer. I see my father out of the corner of my eye, with a hard expression on his face, but still intact without a drop of blood on him.
“He’s ready to ask for forgiveness.” Luca is close, very close; the ferrous smell of blood hits my nostrils harder, making my stomach turn. I try to control the urge to vomit. “Let him go.”
Paolo unties him from the chair, making him fall to the floor on all fours. I look at him, noticing that his fingernails are missing and that there is a lot of blood coming out of the place where they should be.
“Ask for forgiveness!” I walk toward the voice, seeing Don Henrico leaning against a table full of knives and various other materials capable of inflicting pain. He looks relaxed, with blood all over his clothes, as does Paolo, but none of them are as covered in blood as Luca. “I told you to talk.”
He looks up at me, blood streaming down his face, and despite the obvious pain he’s feeling, he doesn’t say a word. Francesco goes toward him, ripping his torn and bloodied shirt from his body. Ugly fresh cuts are visible, and I think about leaving, giving up listening to his words, but I’m already here; I’ve already seen something I’ll never forget. Luca goes over to the table where his father is leaning and picks up a whip; it hasseveral strands hanging from it, and at the end of each strand, a slightly curved, sharp metal blade gleams.
Luca raises the whip in the air and hits him hard on the back, and he drops completely to the ground on his knees, his face resting on the bloody ground. The small metal claws on the whip tear chunks of flesh from his back. I open my eyes wide as I see Luca hit the whip again on his back; I feel like vomiting and put my hand over my lips. The smell of urine mixed with blood reaches my nose, making me cover it, watching Luca hit him with the whip a third time. His back is in living flesh, and the screams are painful.
“I beg you, forgive me! I shouldn’t have said that; I shouldn’t have disrespected you. I’m a fool; I’m nothing but a fool. I beg you to forgive me. Don’t let me die. Make it stop, please.”
I watch him and see tears streaming down his face; with his state, I think that if I were him, I would wish for death. I…
I can’t finish the sentence; I just stare at the image of that tortured man, knowing that this moment will haunt me for a long time.
“Even if she forgives you, you will die; the disrespect you showed Chiara is reflected in disrespect for me, your Capo, and that is a death sentence.” Don Henrico gestures for me to leave the room, and Francesco hurries to lead us out of the room; as we slowly move away, more screams are heard, and suddenly, a shot rings out throughout the room, bringing with it the silence of death.
I feel a loud, painful sob come out of my throat. Lorenzo stops me and looks me in the eye, running his hand over my face, and I realize I’m crying; my whole body is shaking, and I can no longer control my breathing. Vincenzo walks toward me and puts a small pill in my mouth; I swallow it, crying compulsively. I put my hand on my chest, feeling my heartbeat accelerate. My breathing is getting faster and faster, and the air doesn’t seemto reach my lungs. I see my brothers talking to Francesco before he continues on his way without us. I close my eyes and wish it would stop, but it doesn’t. I think that maybe this is the moment, the moment when my anxiety hits so hard that it kills me.
I open my eyes, feeling something sting my arm. I feel Luca’s eyes on me, and he is holding a syringe, injecting something into my bloodstream. His hands are marked on my arm with the blood of the one who died; I let out a distressed cry when acknowledging, until suddenly I feel my breathing calm down, my eyes heavy, and I struggle to keep them open, feeling Luca’s watchful eyes on me, before everything goes black.
My eyes open and close repeatedly, trying to get used to the brightness in the room; I don’t know where I am. A small movement next to me wakes me up. I look over to where the sound is coming from, and I see Bella sitting in a chair next to the bed where I’m lying; she has a look on her face that could be read as pity. Suddenly, the memories of last night hit me hard; I get out of bed in one jump, getting rid of the blankets over me, andI look at my arm for traces of blood.
“There’s nothing there. We’ll clean you up and change your clothes.” Bella’s voice is serene, somehow giving me some of her calm.
“What happened?” I say in a hoarse voice, feeling my dry throat scratch.
“After you left the torture room, Luca had to inject you with a tranquilizer. When I saw you, you were already out, so we decided that you would stay here to not arouse suspicion of what happened.”
“From my weakness…” My voice comes out as a whisper, but Bella still seems to be able to hear my words.
“It wasn’t weakness; many men couldn’t bear to see what you saw yesterday. Don’t condemn yourself for what happened to you. What’s going on down there is truly horrible; noteveryone has the cold blood to see or do that.”
I hear the door open, and my eyes turn to it. I see Luca entering the room. He doesn’t say a word; he just watches me without coming any closer, still standing by the door.
“I’ll get your breakfast. I’ll be right back.” Bella doesn’t let anyone answer, rushing out of the room and closing the door before walking away. Luca stares at me, seeming to read my reaction to his presence.
“You can come closer. I won’t bite!” A smile comes from his lips, making me smile with him, watching him slowly approach the bed, sitting down in the chair where his sister had been seconds before.
“I had to give you a tranquilizer. You were in shock.”
“I know. Bella told me…”
“I shouldn’t have touched you; I should have let one of your brothers do it. But the next thing I knew, you were staring at the blood and screaming. I would never hurt you, at least not with intent. I want you to know that.”
“I know Luca. As you said, I was in shock, not afraid, seeing the blood somehow became a trigger, I think…”
“You shouldn’t have gone into that room; you should have stayed away from the party; I shouldn’t have let that happen.”
I take Luca’s hand and move a little closer to him. “I wanted to come in; nobody forced me.” A dry laugh leaves his lips, and Luca looks into my eyes.
