“It just doesn’t feel right… Maybe it’s because it’s the first date…”
“Maybe it’s because it’s not right…”
“I don’t know, I don’t know anything at the moment. Maybe I should try going out with Henry one more time…”
“Maybe you want Luca and don’t want to admit it.”
“I don’t know Luca, I don’t know anything about him. I’ve known Henry for less time, and I’d risk to say that not only do I know him better, I’ve probably spent more time with him. Luca never really cared about me.”
“He agreed to marry you, Chiara; that must mean something.”
“You know what, that’s the worst part about it all; I don’tknow if he accepted; his father proposed the marriage, not him, Leticia; I agreed. But I never asked Luca if he’d mind; he might have someone…”
I’d be the trophy wife; a marriage of convenience doesn’t mean love; I could easily be the other within my own marriage. Someone who ruins a love story to take advantage. The ringing of my phone wakes me up from my thoughts; Leticia has it in her hand and grimaces, pushing it toward me.
“It’s your father, you really should get that.”
I wait for her to come out of my room and mentally count to ten, trying to work up the courage to have a conversation I don’t want to have.
“Hi, Dad.”
“Good morning, Principessa; how are you feeling today?”
I’m a bit confused by his greeting. “Well, I guess!”
“It’s good to hear that you’re feeling better; we’re all worried about you!”
“Dad, did you talk to Don Henrico or Luca?”
“No, why should I?”
My head is spinning, and I wonder why Luca hasn’t contacted him; maybe he was waiting for me to tell him myself. I don’t really know him to understand. “I broke off my engagement with Luca last night.” My voice comes out low and unsure.
“What did he do?” Unlike a few seconds ago, my father’s voice isn’t calm and loving; now it sounds cold and deadly.
“I don’t know if this engagement was going to work; to be honest, maybe it was doomed to failure from the start.”
“What did he do, Chiara?”
“He didn’t do anything, Dad; I just can’t stand being followed everywhere, no matter where and with whom. I don’t like being controlled like that, especially by someone I don’t know, who doesn’t want to know me…”
“You always had the option of end it, it’s your decision!”
I feel my eyes water, and I breathe slowly, trying to come to terms with my failure. “I’m sorry to disappoint you.”
“You didn’t amore mio; it’s okay. The only thing that really matters is your happiness. Are you happy now?”
Silent tears stream down my face, and I try to control the urge to sniffle the crying. “I don’t know.”
“Chiara, answer me honestly.”
“No, I’m not happy. To be honest, I don’t know what would make me happy now.”
“Do you want to come home?”
“I don’t think it would change anything, maybe it would even worse.”
“What do you want? You can say it, anything; I’ll give you the world.”
