“I’m nervous,” I admit quietly so that only they can hear me. Francesco grimaces, showing how lost he is by the situation.
“You don’t have to be. We’re here to protect you. Nothing will happen,” Paolo says with certainty in his voice. I look down at my hands, unable to face them.
“What if they don’t like me? What if I don’t do well?” I pour out all my insecurities on them, leaving them stunned, judging by how long it takes them to respond.
“If you want my honest opinion, I doubt you’ll do badly. I don’t know much about fashion, but I can tell you understand it. Besides, if they don’t like you or you don’t get along, you have us. Forget those annoying kids!”
I lift my gaze and see the calm smile Francesco offers me, making me feel a little more confident. Then I see that Paolo isbehind him, talking on his phone, and I look at him confusedly, making him smile a little.
“Since you’re afraid you won’t fit in and you’ll be alone, Paolo decided to call Luca. He’s going to put Paolo in our class. That way, you’ll never be alone. You’ll have both of us around!” I look at it, feeling tears welling up in my eyes. A mixture of shame and gratitude mixes inside me. I feel afraid that I won’t be able to go on alone, and incredibly grateful to know that the two of them will be there for me.
I see Paolo coming back toward us. “It’s done. Capo put me in your class. You don’t have to worry. You’ll never be alone. I know we’re not the best company, at least is something, I think.”
I nod, a little touched. “Thank you, really! You didn’t have to do that.”
“I didn’t, but I feel like I should; we’re here to look after you and protect you; keeping you company is part of the job, in my opinion!”
I smile at them both and head for the entrance, with them by my side and the certainty that I won’t be alone.
I feel like I’ve blinked, and two months have passed, two months with two guards who, even if they never admit it, I think we’ve become friends; two months of classes, headaches, anxiety, and crying. Two months of smiles, jokes, andnew friends, two months without seeing Luca.
***
I get out of bed too early for a Saturday, but Paolo has texted me that he’s almost home, bringing Luca with him. When he called me a week ago to say he was coming to London for a week, I thought he was joking; then I remembered that Luca doesn’t joke. Francesco says things have calmed down in Italy, but even though he said he’d come as soon as things settled down, Ididn’t believe him and now I’m panicking and don’t know how to act with my fiancé, with whom I’ve had three encounters and spoken a little more than that on the phone.
I get up slowly and have a quick shower, putting on a simple dress. I walk into the living room to see Francesco sitting on the sofa, watching something on TV. “They haven’t arrived yet?” I ask, already knowing the answer.
“They should be here soon!” he says, shrugging his shoulders unbothered.
“I still don’t understand why he’s coming here!” Francesco looks at me as if he’s asking, and I elbow him, waking him up. “He’s your fiancé; it’s normal for him to come and visit you!” he says as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“We hardly know each other!”
“Maybe that’s exactly why. You’re getting married, and I don’t know if you’ve been told, but there are no divorces in the mafia. You’ll be together until the painful end, so you’d better get used to each other’s companies!”
I roll my eyes, knowing he’s right, and wonder what information he’s giving Luca. I glance at him out of the corner of my eye. He’s concentrating on the TV, and for a moment, I wonder what kind of information Luca is demanding. Paolo and Francesco show clear displeasure at my closeness to Henry, but it’s not as if we’re dating. He studies law with Leticia; I met him at a party for their course; he’s handsome, calm, friendly, has pleasant conversations, seems to like me, and isn’t a murderer. He dreams of being a supreme court judge and condemning crimes, not carrying them out.
I’m jolted out of my thoughts by the door opening, and by instinct, I get up immediately, as does Francesco. Luca walks through the door imposing, muscular, cold, and just as beautiful as the last time I saw him. His presence makes my body shiver, and I condemn myself for it.
“Welcome to London!” I say without much enthusiasm, and he looks around the apartment, analyzing it thoroughly.
“I have detected two security flaws that must be revised!” says Luca to his soldiers, completely ignoring my presence. I think about retiring to my room and ignoring him again, but that would be too childish.
Francesco looks at him with admiration in his eyes. “We will fix that right away!”
I sit on the sofa without really paying attention to anything. “Are you ready for our breakfast?” I wake up from my thoughts at Luca’s words.
“Me?”
“Who else would it be?”
I get up from the sofa, about to say yes, and look in Luca’s direction; he’s wearing a black three-piece suit with a dark blue tie. I hold back my urge to wrinkle my nose at all his formality. I’m considerably underdressed to be out on the street with this man. Without saying a word, I go to my room and pick up a more appropriate dress, simple but still elegant, put on a little make-up, and I’m ready to go out. When I get to the living room, I see Luca, Francesco, and Paolo around a computer, perhaps checking the security cameras, and I let out a forced cough, making the three of them look in my direction.
“Ready?” Luca asks, his husky voice flooding my ears. I just nod and walk toward the exit. I follow him right through the garage to the SUV we use for transportation. I see him open the car door for me before turning around and sitting behind the wheel, and I look at him in confusion. He gestures impatiently for me to get in the car.
I get into the passenger seat and watch him maneuver the car toward the parking lot exit. “Aren’t Paolo and Francesco coming with us?”
“Why should they?” He asks with an arched eyebrow, nevertaking his eyes off the road.
