“I don’t know why I still bother to ask!” I shake my head in denial, seeing him indifferent to my words. After two hours of shopping for both men, with many complaints and dislike looks, we finally entered the women’s stores.
“What are you buying, Chiara?” Leticia asks, wrapping her arm in mine, making Paolo look at our arms in despise. I glance at him so that he doesn’t interfere; after all, being too close to me outside the house is against protocol, as it could delay them if they have to remove me from the premises.
“I was thinking of aChanelset, but I’m not sure!”
Aurora sighs and gives me a mocking smile. “Have you noticed that you wearChanelall the time?”
I look at her and feel my cheeks getting hot. Am I that obvious? I ask myself. She smiles at me and shakes her head in the negative, dragging me toward theChanelstore. As soon as we entered the store, an attendant walked up to us with a big smile on her face.
“Good morning, welcome toChanel.May I offer you a glass of champagne?” I just nod, seeing Aurora accept and Leticia watching her laugh amusedly. Aurora looks at me with a questioning look, and I just signal to her that it’s too early for alcoholic drinks; she just shrugs her shoulders and takes another sip. “And the gentlemen?”
“Did I said you look old in those clothes? You don’t even look like you’re in your 20s!” says Leticia, winning a frowned look from them,
“What can I do for you?” asks the helpful and smiling attendant, looking in our direction.
“I want to see some outfits from the spring/summer collection!” I say, looking around, trying to see if any pieces catch my eye.
“Do you have a color preference?”
“No, I just want something more modern.”
“How about a set with a crop top?” she asks with a smile, making me wonder if her cheeks don’t hurt from smiling at the end of the day.
“Sounds good!” I say, following her into the VIP room and sitting down on a sofa while she selects some outfits. After trying them all on, I choose a tweed outfit, a crop top with straps and three large silver buttons in the center, a short, tight skirt also made of tweed with a button on each side, and a short blazer in the same fabric, all in a light blue that reminds me of the sky.
I look at myself as a whole, and I like what I see; I feel beautiful and elegant but modern. I look at my friends, and they smile and raise their thumbs in approval. I sneak a peek at the two men accompanying us, but the only thing I can read on their faces is boredom.
We only get home from shopping late afternoon, and when I enter the house, I see my brothers sitting on the sofa with lots of snacks around them while they watch football. Paolo and Francesco come in after us, carrying dozens of bags from several stores, their expressions clearly of pain. Probably wondering why they’ve been assigned to my safety, I look at them with pity as they put the bags down on the dining table.
“I can see the shopping was profitable.” Says Vincenzo with a sarcastic grin while looking at the body guards standing by the dining table.
“Don’t provoke me!” I warn him, giving him a light tap on the head and sitting down next to him. “Tell me you haven’t spent the day on this sofa.” Neither says a word, making me shake my head in denial.
“What do you say we go out for dinner so those two can get out of the house?” Leticia asks with a teasing smirk, looking in my brother’s direction.
I see Aurora walk toward the body guards and smile at them. “We can go toLittle Italyas a way of saying thank you for all the bags you carried today.”
“Sounds good to me; Italian food would be good, to be honest!” says Lorenzo as he gets up, followed by Vincenzo to change.
“You miss Italy? I mean, as members of the mafia, you probably don’t leave the country much.”
“We only leave the country on small missions if necessary,” Paolo replies with his usual serious countenance.
I glaze at them and wish I could read their minds, are theysad? Upset? Or something like that, because of me, they’ve been taken away from their families, their regular jobs, maybe their girlfriends. “You must hate me for taking you away from your family and country!” I whisper with regret in my voice; so many people’s lives are changing because of me, without them having a choice.
Francesco looks at me with acknowledgement, as if something inside him understands me and respects my words. “It’s an honor to protect you; the fact that we’re here proves the trust that our Capo and Luca have in our work; protecting the future wife of a Capo is a great recognition within the Camorra.”
“I still kept you away from your family!”
“Every man of honor knows that from the moment he takes the oath, being at the disposal of the Camorra is a duty; the Camorra is also our family.”
I nod, thinking about how much these men gave up and swore for the institution; they swore loyalty and availability to die for the mafia; they can “walk” right in, but death is the only way out. Then the realization hits me: after marrying Luca, I also will only leave the Camorra if I die; we’ll be together until the painful end.
I awake from my thoughts at Vincenzo’s voice and follow him toward the door, not really paying attention to the conversation, still wrapped up in my own thoughts. I feel Paolo’s stare on me; he seems to be evaluating me; he offers me one of his rare smiles, a smile that I read as consolation; he wants to show me that everything is fine, and inside, I am grateful for that.
When we arrive inLittle Italy, I feel like I can breathe again. The colors, the aroma of Italian food, and the people speaking in Italian around me make me smile, and I feel at home.
We enter a wood-fired pizza restaurant, and as soon as we sit down, olives, a cold cuts board,bruschetta, carpaccio,andfocacciaare placed on the table, as well as a bottle of red wine that one of the boys ordered. I take a piece ofbruschettaand close my eyes, enjoying the taste that spreads through my mouth. I see Paolo and Francesco’s approving glances toward the food and realize that I must not be the only one feeling at home.
