All I can do is stare back at my little sister. She looks beautiful, as always, and far older than her seventeen years. She’s sitting at an outdoor cafe, coffee cup in hand, congratulating me like getting married in Vegas to a man you’re not even dating is the most normal thing in the world. I’m still too stunned to form words, so Em picks up my slack.
Um, hello, Fallon? Are you not going to respond? Or are you so blinded by marital bliss that your brain no longer functions? Was the sex that good? It had to be. Is his cock as big as I think it is? Is that why you said yes? Or is he just really good at using it? Or is it both? For your sake, I hope it’s both.
Stop, I sign.Oh. My. God. Stop. You are never allowed to mention my husband’s penis again. Also, how do you even know we got married?
My sister just laughs.It’s all over Ollie’s socials, and I’ve been following him since before I was “allowed” to have a phone. Your hubby is hilarious. And you two are so cute together. I think you should have worn something a little sexier to say your vows, but that’s just me. You can show off your ta-tas when you have a reception at Christmas or over the summer.
There won’t be a reception at Christmas or next summer because we’re not staying married,I sign back immediately. Emersyn always has been the wild card out of the three of us, but she’s really living up to her reputation now. Ollie and Iclearly made a mistake last night, and we need to fix it. There’s no other option.
What? Why?Em signs, and for once, she appears to be totally serious.
Why? Because we were drunk. Because we’re barely even friends. Because I can’t be married. I don’t ever want to be married. You know this.
That’s exactly why you should stay married,my sister signs, as though it’s the most logical statement ever made and I’m a dumbass for daring to rethink my marital status.
Maybe my brain is still swimming in tequila, I sign,because what you’re saying makes no sense at all.
It makes perfect sense, Em insists.You said Gran and Grandad have been trying to fix you up, right? Well, how can they set you up on dates if you’re already married.
Huh. She has a point.Still, marriage seems like an extreme step,I sign because someone has to be the voice of reason, and it’s not going to be Emersyn.
Have you seen the videos?she asks.You look really happy in them, Fallon. Not just drunk, but actually happy. And staying married has multiple benefits. Not only will it get Gran and Grandad to back off, but you’re pretty much guaranteed hot sex for however long you decide to stay married.
Stop talking about sex with Ollie,I sign, making a face. Just stop talking about sex in general. You’re my baby sister and it’s weird.
Em rolls her eyes at me.Fine. Censor me if you must. But I’m right about you staying with Ollie. It’s the out you need.
Am I actually considering this? And would Ollie even go for it? No. It’s ridiculous. And that’s what I tell my sister.People are going to think we’re crazy. Who gets drunk married in Vegas and actually stays married?
People who want to bone, she signs, then smirks.Oops. Sorry. I forgot the “no sex talk” rule. Seriously, though, what’s the alternative?You confess to getting hammered and hitched, and then Gran and Grandad have good reason to want to control every little detail of your life. They’ll probably want you to move in with them permanently so you don’t have to share living space with your ex-husband. You know I love Gran, but she’ll use this to her advantage. She’ll say it’s for your own good.
Em’s words hit me hard. She’s absolutely right. Gran thinks she knows what’s best and when you pair that with my history of teenage rebellion, this is all the ammunition she’ll need to exert a little more control. I wouldn’t let her do that, but I also don’t want to cause a rift in the family. We’ve all been through enough.
So, as crazy as it sounds, I might actually want to stay married to my husband.
21
Ollie
Dad: Jesus Christ. I hope to hell you made her sign a pre-nup.
Staring at the text my dad just sent isn’t doing me any good, but I can’t seem to stop. The fact that he doesn’t even ask what happened tells me all I need to know. He’s not surprised. He expects me to do impulsive, reckless things.
He’s resigned himself to the fact that his only child is a screw-up, and while I hate that, I hate the dig at Fallon even more. It’s not personal. He doesn’t even know her name, but it still irks me that his first thought is about money.
I can't worry about him now, though. His disappointment in me is old news, and I need to focus on figuring out what to do about the ring on my finger. The chapel in the video I posted looks legit, and the fact that I keepscreaming “We got fuckin married!” approximately every thirty seconds in the video I posted seem to indicate that Fallon and I are legally bound to each other now.
There’s so much to sort out, and I can’t do it on an empty stomach. My head’s still swimming a little, and I need massive amounts of grease to sober up. But breakfast is going to have to wait. Coach said he’d be here soon, and the man is never late.
Right on cue, there’s a knock at the door and when I open it, I’m surprised to see Coach is not alone. Ms. Valerie Grim is right behind him, clipboard in hand.
Damn. If he brought the PR expert along, he’s well aware of the situation. I guess I only have myself to blame since I’m the dumbass who plastered my nuptials on every social media platform I’ve ever even heard of.
Mickey gives his spinny chair up for Ms. Grim and Coach perches on the opposite corner of the desk from JT. Those two are so alike sometimes it’s eerie.
I hear the blow dryer turn on in the background, so I know we have a few minutes until Fallon joins us, which is good because Coach is probably going to ask me if I got my head stuck up my ass and while it might be a legitimate question, I’d rather he rip me a new one with as small an audience as possible.
Coach Baylor turns to face me, and I look for any sign of judgment. I’m not usually overly concerned with the way people perceive me—it’s not something I care to waste my time on—but the trust Coach has put into me lately means more than I’d like to admit. He challenged me to rise to the level of Captain, and I did it. I earned my teammates’ respect, and Coach’s, too. And now, instead of being the guy he can rely on, I’m just another item on the checklist of problems he has to solve.
