"It's all yours, Jos."
I scoop it from his hands before bringing it to my face and taking a deep breath in. "I've missed this," I say, adding to the list of things that Tomorrow Me will cringe over.
"Me, too," he says, his voice quiet and gravelly as he takes a step toward me, effectively closing the gap between us.
This is it, I think.This is my moment. Van is half-naked in my room and those sweats will drop with one swift flick of my wrist. Never mind the fact that I'm not that smooth in everyday life. Tipsy Josie is an aspiring seductress.
But Tipsy Josie is also tired.
And she likes it right here, in her ex-boyfriend's arms.
I tilt my head up and look at him. "You know what else I want?"
"I don't have a clue," he replies, tucking an errant strand of hair behind my ear.
"I want to cuddle," I tell him honestly.
My mission announced, I take a step back and begin to undress. My cardigan falls to the floor, followed quickly by my striped t-shirt. I shimmy out of my jeans, but leave my boy shorts on. Plucking his shirt from the bed where I dropped it, I slip it on and revel in its softness.
"Doesn't it fit me better?" I ask, striking a silly pose like I'm in some fashion show.
Van’s been staring at the floor, but now he looks up and frowns. "It fits you perfectly," he says and he sounds a little grumpy about it, even though I know he can get another shirt pretty easily.
While I was getting ready for bed, Van picked up my discarded clothes. He hands me a neatly folded stack and I placeit on my desk. Tipsy Josie doesn't have to put her clothes away, apparently.
I turn toward the bed and pull back the covers before crawling in. That's the great thing about singles: almost everything is within arm's reach. The other great thing about singles is that I don't have to share my space with a roommate. Right now, I just want to share my space—my body, my heart—with Van. "I want you to hold me," I say. "I want to feel your body next to mine again."
He tenses, and for a moment I'm half afraid he'll turn and leave. Maybe cuddling isn't what he had in mind? But that makes no sense. He makes no sense. Last week he said he wanted to be with me, to see where this could lead and now he looks torn at the thought of lying down next to me.
He runs his hands through his hair before sighing and looking down at me. His palm cradles my face and he gently removes my glasses. After setting them on my nightstand, he offers me a smile. "Scoot over," he tells me, and I oblige, turning and leaning close to the wall. I feel his weight settle next to me on the bed. Seconds later, he reaches over and pulls me in so my head is on his chest. He smoothes the covers over us and presses a kiss to the top of my head.
"You want the light off?" he asks, and I nod, but really it's just me smushing my face up and down on his bare chest. His skin is warm and soft, but the muscles underneath are hard. I trace my finger over the lines on his abs.
"There really are eight, aren't there?" I say aloud and I swear I hear him chuckle. Or maybe he's laughing because he's ticklish.
"Not ticklish, Jos," he says, answering yet another question I didn't know I posed aloud. I sink deeper into the sheets and tug the blanket a little higher.
My eyes drift shut, and though I'm fighting sleep, I know I'm losing. "Van?" I say into the darkness.
"Yeah, Jos?"
"Tomorrow, I want to do all the dirty, sexy, naked things with you. Nobody is as good at dirty, sexy, and naked as you are. And it's fun by myself, but it's way more fun with you."
Van clears his throat in the quiet room. "Get some sleep, Jos."
It's not the answer I was hoping for, but I do it anyway.
28
Van
Iwake up slowly. It’s warm, which makes me want to stay in bed, but the sun is shining right in my eyes, so I tug on the blankets before burrowing back into my pillow.
Wait. How is the sun in my eyes? My room has no windows.
Blinking, I sit up and take in my surroundings. For a second, I’m sure I’m back at Santos’s house on the lumpy little futon in the basement. But when I open my eyes, I’m not looking at a mounted moose head or a velvet painting of horses.
I’m looking at Josie.
