“Yeah, thanks. And I’m clean, too,” he tells me before blushing. “I mean, obviously.”
“But we’ll still need condoms, if we go that route. You’ll probably want to get some just because it’s smart to have them, but I have some here, too.”
“Yeah, I will. And look, I just want to thank you because—”
“Nope,” I stop him. “None of that. I appreciate your gratitude, but that’s not how this works. No one’s indebted to anyone, ok? We’re both getting something out of this arrangement, aside from the obvious benefits. And when this arrangement is no longer mutually beneficial, we end it—no harm, no foul. Sound good?”
“It sounds perfect. So, when do we start?”
“Silly boy,” I tease, curling close to him. “We start right now.”
“Now?” he stammers.
“Yes, now. But don’t panic. There’s no test at the end of the night, I promise. We’re just going to do what couples do… We shared some food, and now we’re talking. We’ll turn on the TV and relax with each other—hold hands, that kind of thing. Whatever feels comfortable, ok? I think it’s just a good idea to get used to being together.”
“That makes sense,” he agrees, stacking the empty food containers and putting them back into the paper bag. “Why don’t you pick the show? I’m cool with whatever.”
“You’re letting me pick? See? You’re already a natural at this boyfriend thing.”
26
Will
Istuff the trash from our dinner into the bin under Mel’s sink, all the while telling myself to chill the fuck out. We’re just going to hang out, watch some TV, cuddle a little—it’s no big deal.
Except, it kind of is.
Not only am I clueless about this shit, but…it’s Mel. We haven’t known each other long, but she’s already important to me. I know I’m not supposed to tell her I’m grateful, but I am. She’s helping me a ton. But also, I just like hanging out with her. I look forward to our texts and honestly, I’m more excited about watching reruns with Mel than I was about taking Ava Connolly to her senior prom. Turns out she only brought me as her date to make her ex jealous. And it worked. Five minutes after we arrived, she ditched me for him, and I spent the rest of the night watching a hockey game on my phone.
But my point is that things with Mel are easy, or at least they have been up to this point.
“Did you get lost in my tiny kitchen?” Mel asks from her spot on the couch, and I realize I’m only about ten feet away from her, and I’m clearly stalling.
I cross over and sit back down next to her, trying my damnedest to relax. But I’m like physically incapable of relaxing, so I just sit there trying to contain my nervous energy while Mel flips through the menu. She lands on a true crime drama and looks at me hopefully.
“Killer in Plain Sight: Inside the Mind of a Murderer? That’s what you want to watch before you go to bed?” I ask.
“Yep,” she answers, smiling.
“Let’s do it,” I agree as she turns off the lamp and burrows deeper in her blanket. The show starts and I’m only half-interested. True crime isn’t really my thing. I’m more of a fantasy guy, but after five minutes of the narrator describing the idyllic, sleepy southern town where the murders took place, I have to admit, I’m kinda hooked. And Mel? She’s all in, hanging on every word they say.
The more we watch and listen, the more I relax back into the sofa, happy to let Mel cuddle up to me. The warmth of her body next to mine is comforting and, as if it’s the most natural thing in the world, I reach over and rub her back in gentle, soothing circles. She damn near purrs in response, and I congratulate myself on making the right move.
It’s kinda wild—the guy on the TV is going on and on about murder weapons and angles, and I’m paying less attention to him and way more attention to Mel. She’s beautiful, even all bundled up in blankets, scared out of her damn mind. I’m mesmerized by the graceful curve of her neck and the way she bites her lip when she’s nervous.
She’s clutching her blanket tight when I decide to switch things up. I ease my arm away from her back and slip my hand into hers. She latches on, and I’m more than happy to end up with bruises on my hand if it means Mel’s holding on to me for dear life.
“Holy shit, Will,” she mutters. “He drove them all to church every week. And then he freaking murdered them? People are bat-shit crazy.”
She’s right, but I stay quiet, content to let her curl up closer to me as she hides her eyes from the screen but dips her blanket low so she can peek through.
“You sure you want to keep watching?” I ask as she grabs hold of my bicep, her short nails digging in slightly.
“Are you crazy?” she whisper-yells. “We can't stop now! He’s going into a legit confessional before murdering the priest!”
“Right, sorry,” I say, holding back a laugh. My girl takes her true crime documentaries pretty seriously, I guess. And she’s not technically my girl, but we’re pretty cozy tonight and I have to think of her that way if I want to pull this thing off without anyone suspecting that it’s fake. And I’m definitely not complaining. The creepier this show gets, the closer Mel gets to me. She’s practically in my lap and I don’t mind a bit. For once, I’m actually relaxed, and I feel like I could stay like this—tangled up in Mel—for a very long time. There’s something about her that just does it for me, which is crazy—there’s nothing between us; she’s just doing me a favor. I know that. But I also know I’ve never been this attracted to anyone. Granted, I don’t have any real experience to speak of, but now that I’m looking back, some of that might be because I’ve never felt attraction like this before. Sure, I noticed pretty girls. And…porn, obviously. I understand desire and attraction, but I’m not sure I really felt them until now. Until Mel.
But I soon realize I’m not the only one who’s relaxed. When they reveal the secret graveyard in the killer’s basement and Mel doesn’t react at all, I look down to see that she’s fast asleep. I’m afraid to turn off the TV because I wonder if that will wake her up, which is how I end up spending the next half hour getting sucked into a TV show I never wanted to watch, and rubbing Mel’s back as she drifts deeper and deeper into sleep. But soon enough, the program’s over, and the ending credits roll. Mel’s head pops up and she looks around groggily.
