“I know,but…I just feel really shitty about how it all went down. And the fact that you took me back to yours to sober up? That was really cool of you—you didn’t have to do that.”
Mel shrugs.“I kind of did. I mean karma’s real, right? I fell asleep on the roof of the Humanities building my freshman year and woke up covered in a blanket with a bucket and a bottle of water next to me. The kindness of strangers is something we all need. Even though I like to give you a hard time, you’ll get no judgment from me. Apology accepted. I promise, Will, we’re good.”
“That’s good—great. Thanks.”
“Is that all?You look like you're either going to puke again or ask me something. I swear, we’re cool, and I haven’t told any of the gory details of our disastrous date. That’s just between us, so you don’t have to worry that I’ll spread that shit around campus. That’s not who I am. Besides, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Drunken stupors are pretty common around here.”
“Great. Yeah. Right,”I stammer. Before she can get up to leave, I blurt what I came here to say. “Will you go out with me? Again?”
“What?”
“Willyou go out on a date with me?”
“Are you serious?”she sputters the words as she stifles a laugh. “Do you not remember that time we were on a date and I had to haul your heavy ass out of the bushes and pour a pot of coffee down your throat as you cried yourself to sleep about some girl named Kelsey?”
“It’s Chelsie, actually.”
“Ok…Andthat was less than a week ago. So, you’re miraculously over her and you’ve decided we’re a match?”
I clear my throat.“When you say it like that…”
“It sounds crazy,Will. And that’s because it is actually crazy.”
“It’s not, though,”I assure her. “It’s a genius plan.” She looks dubious, so I keep going. “And really, it was your idea.”
“My idea?Are you drunk again?”
“Stone cold sober,”I say, taking a sip of my drink. “And it really was your idea.”
Mel restsher hands on the table, clearly unconvinced. “How do you figure?”
“Saturday morning,when you made me eggs and coffee?”
“I remember feeding you…”
“You toldme all the things I did wrong. Like, you listed them in detail.”
“Yeah,but when you list someone’s mistakes, they don’t usually ask you out after.”
“I wantyou to do it again,” I tell her, and she looks at me as though I’ve completely lost my shit.
“You wantto date me so I can tell you all your faults? Is this some shame thing? Because, no judgment, but that’s not my thing.”
“It’s not mine either,I swear. I want you to coach me, Mel. You know how to date, how to flirt, and I don’t…. So, I want you to teach me.”
She starts laughing so hardI’m afraid she’s going to fall off her chair.
“I’m serious.It’s the perfect solution.”
“Perfect solution?Are you nuts? That is literally the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard.”
“Well,it was kinda your idea, so…”
She smacks my arm.“It was not. Look, I was just trying to help.”
“And you did!And I want you to keep helping me. We’ll go out on a couple dates, ok, do things couples do, and then, at the end of each date, you’ll tell me how I messed up and what to fix.”
Mel toyswith the handle of her coffee mug as more people enter the coffee shop. Classes must have just let out because this place is starting to fill up.
