* * *
Booker
I jog home to The Chapel, but it does little to ease the anger and frustration coursing through my veins. I open the door and turn to set my stuff down, but I use a little more force than necessary and end up knocking over the wooden stand we keep in the entry. From there, it’s a domino effect as the stand knocks into Stefan’s cubby, which tips over the princess tent Knox put up for Rose. In a matter of seconds, I’ve made a gigantic mess. “Goddamnit!” I yell a little too loudly, judging from the surprised looks on Ty and Knox’s faces.
Whit pokes his head out from the kitchen. “The fuck? Book, did you just swear?”
“Impossible,” Knox tells him, coming over to clean up the mess I made. “Booker can’t swear. I think he’s physically incapable of it.”
“Yeah, actually,” I correct him, “I fucking can. But only when I’m really mad or having sex.” I wince as the words tumble out of my mouth. “Sorry, that’s probably an overshare.”
Whit rolls his eyes at me as he puts Stefan’s cubby to rights. “An overshare? Dude. You have heard all of us and our girlfriends in various stages of orgasm.”
Knox gives him a look, and Whit returns it. “Yes, Junior, there are stages. Anyway, like I said, Book, you’ve heard and seen…a lot. So don’t think you’re scandalizing us.”
Ty nods. “That’d be damn hard to do.”
“I’m just so…fucking pissed,” I say, pacing the length of the room. “Getting my heart stomped on was bad enough, but now he’s just being an asshole and it makes me angry, you know? And I don’t get angry. But today, I worked a freaking shift for him so he could get some grading done and I don’t know, maybe take a fucking nap or watch a goddamn T.V. show. What’s that Bridgeville show? He loves that kind of shit. Anyway, I did him this huge favor, and all he could say was, thanks, but no thanks. He told me not to do it again. Said he doesn’t need any help. Which is a bold-fucking-faced lie.”
“How can we help?” Knox looks decidedly sad, which is unlike him, especially because he and my ex aren’t close. For some odd reason, it strikes me as funny, and I burst into laughter.
Now Knox just looks worried. “Uh, Booker, why are you laughing? Shit, guys. That sonofabitch broke Booker.”
I shake my head. “I’m laughing at you.”
“What? Why? I’m not the funny one. That’s Whit. I’m the hot, broody one.”
“Like hell you are,” Ty interjects. “I’mthe hot, broody one.”
Whit puts down a cat toy and looks downright offended. “Whoa, hey, slow down. Yes, I’m funny. Fucking hilarious, to be precise, but I am also hot. Like, objectively hot. Empirically hot.”
Knox ignores Whit and turns his attention back to Ty. “Ok, so if you’re the hot, broody one, and he’s the funny one—"
“The funny,scorching hotone,” Whit interjects.
“Then what does that make me?”
“You used to be the tattooed man-whore,” Ty tells him. “But now you’re the sexy dad.”
Knox nods, like this all makes sense, and my life isn’t falling apart.
They all turn to me, and I realize I said that part out loud.
“Sorry. Back to you and your shambles.” Knox tips his chin.
“I was just thinking it’s funny that you looked sad because you and Ian aren’t exactly besties.”
“We sure as hell aren’t now,” Knox says. “But you know what seriously pisses me off? I mean, Ian always pisses me off, but that’s like a three on a scale of 1-10. Breaking your heart? That’s like, a 14.”
That seems to be the general consensus, and my heart squeezes uncomfortably in my chest. “No, don’t do that. He’s not a bad guy,” I say, adamant despite the looks they’re giving me. “He’s just…” I sigh. “Being a dick.”
“So, like Big Daddy said, what are you going to do about it?” Ty asks.
I rub my chest because it literally aches. There’s an emptiness that I can’t fill. Only Ian fits there, and he’s…not mine anymore. “What can I do? Wallow? Be pissy? Let you three get me drunk? I mean, yeah, all of that’s an option, but it’s not gonna change the fact that I love him. He’s rejected me…twice. And even that changes nothing.” I look at my three best friends. “I still love him.”
They nod, like they get it, and honestly, they do. They’ve been here too. The difference is that their stories have happy endings. And mine doesn’t.
Chapter 26
