Ian's full lips curve into a smile. “Two guys jacking their dicks together?”
“Yeah, that,” I admit, blushing. “It wouldn’t have fazed anyone. Ty would have said something about Lysol, probably. And Knox would say,shove over, you’re hogging the good couch. AndWhit would head into the kitchen and set an extra place for dinner.”
“Did you think it would be different for you?” he asks, concern clear in his voice.
I think I know what he’s getting at. “Because of my parents and their religion?”
“That, or the fact that you hold yourself to some crazy standard of celibacy that no mere mortal could match.”
“Nah. My friends won’t care. A couple weeks ago, Whit asked me if I ever saw ‘an ass I wanted to put my dick in.’ I nearly choked on my drink. But he was being Whit, totally serious and ridiculous at the same time.”
He runs his fingers through my hair and the sensation is soothing, calming.
“So they’ll support you?”
“No question,” I assure him. “Whit will have his Cricut out, and we’ll have a rainbow wardrobe by the end of next week. They’ll support me loudly and with gusto.” I sigh, letting some of the weight I’ve been carrying fall off my shoulders and onto his. “The thing is, it’s not that I didn’t want to come out to them. It’s that I wasn’t ready to admit it to myself. It changes everything. I never really thought sex was for me, you know? I just figured either I had a low sex drive or I got all that energy out on the ice or whatever. It was kind of a relief, in a way. Where I come from, sex is a bad, bad thing. So the fact that I didn’t pop a boner every time I saw my girlfriend was kind of a bonus. I just thought I wasn’t wired for sex. But then… God, this is embarrassing,” I turn my head into his chest, sure my cheeks are pink.
“What is it? You can tell me anything. Literally anything.” I can feel the vibration of his voice as I burrow deeper into his chest.
He’s right, and I know it, but it’s still hard to say out loud.
Ian looks me in the eye. “I’ve had my hand on your cock. I came all over your perfect abs. I can’t wait to get my mouth on you, too. And when you’re ready, I’m going to put my mouth on your ass, Booker. And someday, you’re gonna fuck me so hard, I’ll forget my own name. So, whatever you’re thinking, there’s no need to be embarrassed.”
“Dick,” I blurt, still unable to look Ian in the eyes. “I’m thinking about dick. Specifically, yours. And your forearms. And your throat, and… That was a surprise. I mean, men’s bodies are hot. I’ve always known that. But nudity is forbidden, and sex thoughts are bad, you know? If repress and ignore was an Olympic sport, I’d have all the medals. But last fall, you came to get Phoebe, remember? And it was a really crappy day. There was all this tension and stress and I looked up to see you in the driveway, and my first thought was, ‘God, he’s beautiful’. Totally inappropriate. Phoebe’s world had just been rocked and Ty was devastated and all I could think about was that your eyes are the color of whisky and how easy it would be to get lost in them.”
He tips my chin up and I melt into his kiss.
“Same,” he admits, his cheeks turning pink now. “I crushed on you so hard, which was crazy. You’re straight. Well, I thought you were. And our friends were in the middle of a pretty intense breakup, and I was trying to stop myself from drooling over the way your t-shirt clung to your abs.”
“Yeah?” I ask shamelessly.
“Uh, yeah.”
“As soon as I have the energy to move, I’m ordering more t-shirts. Maybe I’ll even size down?”
He laughs and I feel joy, pure, untainted joy. I’m probably supposed to feel guilt or shame. I’m naked in bed. With a man. And damn, does it feel good. I can’t bring myself to worry or to stress, which is totally new for me. I feel like I’ve spent half my life looking over my shoulder, sure that I was about to get in trouble or be judged for something. But the feeling of being in Ian’s arms is too good to deny.
“We just had sex.Gaysex. Not penetrative, but sex all the same.” I say to him, like a total dork. But when his cock twitches and his breath stutters, I don’t feel embarrassed anymore.
“I’d be lying to you and myself—again—if I said I didn’t know exactly what Whit meant all those weeks ago. Yes, I’ve seen a…backside I want to stick my…you know what in. And, spoiler alert, it’s yours. We’ll get there. Soon, I hope.”
“When you’re ready,” he says, pulling me impossibly closer. “Look, I have to ask, but you don’t have to answer. I just want to make sure you’re really okay with this.”
“More than okay. Don’t get me wrong, it changes everything.It changes my routine. It changes how well I can hide and blend in. It changes everything. But I think I’m figuring out that change is good.”
Chapter 17
Ian
It’s beena good spring break. The best I’ve ever had, no question. Booker and I went for a run yesterday morning and he was kind enough to keep pace with me. We went back to Little John’s and cleaned up at Skee-Ball. We watched movies and made out like teenagers who’ve been left home alone. Today is the last day of vacation, though, so we figured we’d relax a little. We didn’t mean to get naked on the couch.
All I know is that a couple minutes ago, Booker was kicking my ass at NHL Ice, and now, his shorts are off and my shorts are off, and we’re tearing at each other’s t-shirts while our dicks are getting reacquainted.
Tossing my shirt to the floor to join his, I palm my boyfriend’s thick, heavy cock as he writhes beneath me.
Life is good.
His dick weeps, and I lick precum from the tip, earning a groan from his lips that spurs me on. Relaxing my jaw, I take him deep in my throat, gratified to hear his gasp.
