But Mel has the eyes of a hawk, and she notices right away.
“Who are you texting?” She asks. It should be noted that she drank one of those bottles all by herself.
“I’m not texting anyone. Just pulling up QT.”
“Oh my God. Did you hear that Kevin and Brad broke up? They’re my favorites on QT.”
“Uh, woah. I thought I was your favorite, both on QT and in real life.”
Mel just rolls her eyes. “Yeah, but you’re not all coupled up and cute on QT.”
“To be fair, neither are Kevin and Brad,” Phoebe adds.
“Ouch. Way to hit a guy when he’s single,” I say, faking a knife wound to the heart.
“Blah, blah, blah,” Mel says, rolling her eyes again. “You always tell me you’re too busy for a relationship. But in order to be adorable and adored on QT, you need a cute boyfriend. And you need to dance in your kitchen. It’s totally a thing.”
“Look, I don’t have time for a relationship these days, and I don’t have time for dancing in my kitchen.But I do need to film a quick video. I haven’t posted for two days.”
“What the heck? When we worked together yesterday, you were planning to come home and film.” Willa asks. We’re so short staffed, and she’s such an angel of mercy that she’s been picking up hours when we need a hand.
“I was, but instead, I came home and slept.”
“Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s do this. Ian, you fire up the phone and start talking. Then we’ll join. That sounds like fun.” Mel has a gleam in her eye that I’ve learned to be wary of.
“No, that sounds like chaos. I’ll film later. No big deal.”
“But what are we going to do now?” Mel mopes.
“I forgot how whiny you are when you get drunk,” Phoebe says, looking at her former roommate.
“I need more wine,” Mel answers, even though no one asked her that question.
“And I need snacks,” Willa announces, standing up and walking into the kitchen.
I follow her and we start grabbing food from the fridge and pantry.
“Is Hannah coming back soon?” she asks. “Your schedule is brutal. You opened and closed the coffee shop twice last week.”
“I know,” I tell her, placing a pouch of popcorn in the microwave. “But it can’t be helped. Hannah’s dad has a long recovery ahead of him, and I want to help. Besides, the two intro classes are easy-peasy, and the Psych of Sex class is fun. Dr. Rhoads is covering her section on gender studies, so I only have three classes to worry about.”
“And a coffee shop to run. And social media. And did you ever make it home to see your folks?”
“No, not yet,” I tell her. “And I feel shitty about that, but I’m swamped. The thing is, they are too. Farmers can’t really take vacations.” I tell her as we bring the snacks into the living room. Phoebe has cued upDirty Dancing, one of her favorites. She’s promised to indoctrinate us all into her cult of 80s movie love.
“Are you talking about sexy farmers?” Mel asks.
“Uh…no. I was talking about my parents. And my brothers.”
“The brothers are sexy farmers,” she says, plucking a family picture off the shelf.“Mmmm…I like the brawny one.”
“He’s married with three kids,” Willa adds, as though this will dissuade Mel from crushing on him.
I avoid eye contact with Mel, but she’s not even paying attention to me.
“You know what? The tall, lean one is pretty hot too.”
“That’s Luke; you met him last year. And well, he'd just tire you out. He reminds me of Whit in a way, like, how they're both direct descendants of the Energizer Bunny.”
