He takes another sip of coffee. “I think it’s best for everyone if you and I speak privately.”
“That’s fine. But just so you know, I’m going to tell Caleb about everything you and I discuss.”
My dad sighs. “Please, Lucy. Let’s talk in the living room.”
I press a quick kiss to Caleb’s lips before following my dad. It’s not a conversation I’m looking forward to, but it’s a necessary one.
* * *
Whit
I watch Lucy walk away and rub my chest. Looking across the counter, I realize my mom’s attention is in the other room, too.
“You think they’re gonna be okay?” I ask, my voice wavering a little.
My mom reaches out and squeezes my hand. “I hope so,” she tells me.
“And um…what about you and Brian? I’m sorry, Ma. I swear, I never meant to come between you. Actually, Lucy and I have done our damnedest to stay away from each other, knowing this very thing might happen. But—”
“Caleb Aaron Whitman,” my mom middle names me, and man, I wish Lucy could hear it. But I bite back a smile because when my mom starts using my full name, I know she means business.
“What happens between Brian and me,” she says, her voice softening when she says her husband’s name, “has nothing to do with you and Lucy.”
“I know, but—”
“Nothing,” she repeats. “We’re grown adults who are responsible for our choices, just the way you and Lucy are. And we love each other, just the way you do.”
“She’s my whole world, Ma.”
“She has been since you were in middle school, honey. I just had no idea that Brian’s daughter Lucy was your summer camp girl.”
At my questioning look, Ma keeps going. “Every summer, you’d come home in a slump. You’d mope around for weeks. At first, I thought you just missed your friends, but since you played video games with them nearly every night, I soon figured out there was a girl. It was cute, you know? You obviously had a crush, and that’s a stage most kids go through at that age. But the summer you were sixteen, when you worked there, that’s when I knew there was more to it. You were so quiet when you came home that year—too quiet. Eventually, you started acting like yourself again, and Dr. Adams assured me you were fine, but I knew you’d had your heart broken.”
“Yeah,” I nod, refilling my cup. “I was wrecked. Turns out, she was, too.”
“I’m so glad you’ve found your way back to each other, honey. Maybe Brian and I should take matchmaker credit.”
My eyes dart into the living room where Lucy and her dad are sitting across from each other, but I can feel the chill from here. “Yeah, I’m not so sure he’s ready for that.”
“He’d better get ready,” Ma says, smiling. But then she takes my hands in hers again and pins me with a serious gaze. “Are you okay, Caleb? Really okay. I know your heart is happy, and that thrills me, but I worry about the rest of you, too.”
I want to smile and laugh it off. Tell Ma that I’m fine. But she doesn’t deserve a doctored-up version of the truth. “I’m getting there,” I tell her. “I accidentally skipped a dose and that messes with my head. Then I thought I ruined Lucy’s life, which really messed with my head, and I spiraled. But I’m okay. Back on my regular doses and feeling more like myself.”
Her next words are unexpected. “He’d be proud of you, you know.”
“Proud of what?” I run my hands through my hair. “No offense, Ma, I know I’m your baby boy and you adore me and all that, but come on. I’m basically a screw up. My girlfriend’s in the next room, negotiating her future. Me? I have no real career goals. At least, none that align with my current major. My claim to fame is that I have perfect pitch and I make a mean Bolognese. My other talents include frat party stunts and being the reigning Beer Pong champ at Delta. I’m gonna be on a cocktail of meds for the rest of my life, and like the last two days proved, one slip up can throw me totally off my game. I’m not sure that’s something to be proud of.”
Tears well in her eyes, and now I feel even worse.
“He would be. And I am, too. Your dad was on medication for his depression, too. Did you know that? Does it make you love him any less? He would be proud of the person you are, Caleb. You are kind, you are loyal. You love your friends with a fierceness that is unmatched. You take care of them. That means something.”
I nod, absorbing her words.
“Do you know the first thing I noticed about your dad was his smile. It’s so much like yours. It drew me in. And when I went below deck that day, he smiled that beautiful smile at me. He promised my two boys would be fine while I took a nap. And I wish like hell I’d never gone down those stairs. That I’d have stayed awake. That I could have prevented the accident in some way. But he kept you safe.”
I can’t tell who’s crying harder now, Ma or me. I wrap my arms around her and hold her tight.
“So you’re going to take those meds religiously, yes? And keep an extra dose on hand at all times? Because I can’t lose you, Caleb. And neither can Lucy.”
