* * *
Just over an hour later,we pull off onto a secondary road that I’d swear leads straight to Deliverance. But half a mile down the bumpy path a log cabin comes into view. Well, calling it a cabin might be a bit of an understatement. It’s two stories and probably 4,000 square feet. Ian pulls up to the door and Booker and I are out in seconds. He brought Ollie’s key, so it takes no time to unlock the door.
We walk inside,and I can’t lie. Part of me is a little scared of what we might find. But it’s not a gruesome scene, just a heartbreaking one. Caleb’s sprawled on the floor in front of a cold, empty fireplace. His eyes are bleary as he peers up at us. There’s a half-empty bottle of Jack next to him.
“Lucy?”he asks, his voice hoarse.
I dropmy bag and my coat to the floor and fall into his arms, not caring that tears are falling unchecked down my face.
“Lucy, what are you doing here?”
“I love you,”I say, because it's the only answer I have and it’s the truth. Just then, Booker and Ian move farther into the room.
“We brought everything you need—freshclothes, meds—it’s all in here,” Booker points to the bag he set by the door.
The lookthat passes between the two of them breaks my heart. Whit wraps his arms around his best friend and holds on tight. Neither of them is saying a word, but I get the feeling a whole conversation has taken place.
They break apartand Whit settles into a corner of the couch. Instinctively, I join him.
“C’mon,she’s got him. He’s gonna be ok.” I hear Ian’s voice behind me before Booker calls, “Lucy, call us if you need us, ok?”
A minutelater I hear the door close, and I look over at my boyfriend’s face and the tears start again.
Chapter 25
Lucy
But mine aren’tthe only tears that are falling. Caleb’s eyes are rimmed in red. I hold him close and repeat over and over that I love him until suddenly, he pulls away.
“How? How can she love me?”
It takes me a minute to follow his train of thought.
“I ruined her fucking life, Lucy. I killed her husband. I’m the reason he’s dead. She should hate me. God. I fucking hate me. Tell me how it’s possible that she’s woken up every day for the last twenty years and taken care of me, found it in her to love me.”
“Caleb,” I reach for his face. “She’s your mother. Of course she loves you. And it wasn’t your fault. What happened was—”
He cuts me off, his words angry and raw. “What happenedwasmy fault, Lucy. I was supposed to be napping. But I wasn’t. I wandered close to the edge. I don’t know if I jumped in or fell in or what, but my dad, he just turned his back for a second.And when my body hit the water, he chased after me and dove in.Got me to safety. But then he slipped on the surface. Hit his head and went under. They said he lost consciousness pretty quickly after he got me to safety. Did you know that?”
His words are slurred, but his eyes are clear.
“And my mom? She woke up to the sound of me screaming. She’d gone below deck for a nap of her own. And when she woke up, it was to find me wailing on the deck while my dad’s body was below the water.”
“Caleb, that has to be the worst thing I’ve ever heard, but—”
My words barely register.
“It gets worse. She was pregnant. Did you know that? I didn’t. Not until I was fourteen or fifteen. A couple of the ladies at Booker’s parents’ church were gossiping about it when they didn’t realize I was within earshot. She was pregnant, Lucy. I’m the reason my mother lost her husband. I’m the reason she lost her baby.”
“No,” I cry, cupping his face in my hands. “No. That is not true. You are her baby, and she loves you. And you are so worthy of that love, Caleb. Your mother’s and mine. I’m so sorry for what happened that day, but it had nothing to do with you. Nothing.”
He starts to speak, but I stop him.
“If Rose fell into the water, would you go after her? If she ran into the street? Of course you would. Because you love her. Because she’s a child and you’re an adult. And you love her. And if something terrible happened, it would not be her fault. And it wouldn’t be yours, either.”
He cries, and I cry. I can’t believe my body still has tears to cry.
“I hurt the people I love, Lucy,” he says, his voice raw.
