Ty gives me the finger, and I take that as approval. “So, like I said, we kissed. And then I invited her back here and she lost her goddamn shit.”
Whit shakes his head like he pities me. “Uh, yea she did. You basically asked her to fuck. To hear you talk, she’s the love of your life, and you talk to her like she’s a nameless girl at the bar. You are such a dick.”
“I didn’t say it like that. Jesus. Gimme some credit. I asked if she wanted to come back here and spend the night. How is that offensive? I remember what it’s like to make her come like crazy on my hand and suddenly she gets all haughty because I want to lie down in a bed? That makes no sense.” Ty opens his mouth to protest my vulgar language, but I cut him off. “Fuck you. We’re all adults. And I happen to know all the dirty words you make your girlfriend scream at the ass-crack of dawn, so don’t tell me she’s never heard—”
Just when I think Ty might punch me in the throat, Phoebe reaches out to touch his arm. “Dude. Chill out. I’m a big girl. And words don’t offend me. But I am fascinated by all this. I had no idea you knew Willa. I haven’t spent a ton of time in the coffee shop lately because my boyfriend sucks up all my free time, but from the few conversations we’ve had, she seems really sweet.”
“She is,” I say. “Except when she’s biting my head off and running away from me like her ass is on fire. And nothing she said made sense. Like, she was all like ‘you rejected us.’ And she said yesterday, too, that I, and I quote, ‘wanted nothing to do with us’. Those were her exact words. What the hell? When did I reject us? I mean, we were barely an us, but she’s the one who ended it. My last text to her was something like ‘we can make this work’.She’sthe one who texted back and told me we were too different, that we needed to go our separate ways.
“Wait. Tell me again what she said to you. Like, exactly what she said.” Phoebe asks, a strange look on her face.
I sigh and finish my drink. “Right before she left tonight, she turned back to me and said ‘you wanted nothing to do with us.’”
“Knox, you need to talk to her.”
I laugh, running my hand through my hair for the thousandth time tonight. “Yea, cause that’s worked out so well…You wanted nothing to do with us... What does that even mean?”
“That’s something only Willa can answer. But trust me, you need to talk to her. Like, soon.”
I walk into the kitchen, dump my ice, and refill my glass. “Looks like my ass is going back to the coffee shop tomorrow.”
* * *
Once again,I’m up way earlier than usual. I don’t know how people do it. Booker heads to the rink at seven every morning, and I’m griping about walking across campus to grab coffee at ten. Yea, even to my own ears, I sound like a whiny bitch. But in my defense, I barely got any decent sleep last night. I replayed my time with Willa over in my head a million times—all of it. From our meeting in the high school auditorium to our picnic by the lake, to the party. I thought about the day after, going to her house to find it empty, having her say it was over when it had just barely begun.
I lost my phone that summer, and when I got a new one, the old contacts didn’t transfer. And like a dumbass, I didn’t think to ask for her number last night. Though who knows? There’s a fair chance she wouldn’t have given it to me.
Hell, she might even refuse to see me once I get to Drip, but it’s a chance I’ll have to take. If she tells me to fuck off, I’ll respect her wishes. Regardless of what I thought we once shared, I’m not going to force her to talk to me.
But that doesn’t mean I’m not curious as hell. Her parting words were so cryptic. It’s like we have totally different versions of our last conversation, and I just don’t get it. I don’t get how she can be soft and pliant and responsive in my arms, and then look at me like I’m some kind of monster.
Ending our relationship—brief though it was—was never my choice. In fact, losing her messed me the fuck up that summer. Hell, I’m not sure I’ve recovered yet. Waking up alone in that stupid tent did a number on me. My dad left before I was born, my mom’s never been much of a mother, and I barely have a relationship with Ronin’s dad. But Willa was different, or so I thought. When she left, I spiraled out of control. The funny thing is that I knew it. I just didn’t give a shit.
I reach the entrance to Drip and take a breath to steady my nerves. Strangely, it feels like the rest of my life is on the other side of this door. Like there’s the me I am now, but once I see Willa again—once she shuts me out once and for all or lets me in—the rest of my life will open before me like a path I never knew existed.
The bell chimes, and maybe I’m paranoid, but I feel every set of eyes in the coffee shop on me. There aren’t many students, but I recognize a couple guys from Booker’s hockey team, and a pair of girls studying in the corner. Ian’s behind the register, and he levels me with a glare, though that’s not unusual. We’ve never been best friends, and we never will be. That other guy, Theo, is wiping down a counter. Willa’s nowhere to be found. Maybe it’s her day off? Or she works tonight?
I walk up to the counter to place my order. “Can I get a large cold brew, no foam?”
“Sure thing,” Ian says. The words are right, but I can tell by the look in his eyes that he’s less than thrilled to see me.
“I’m, uh, also looking for Willa. Does she come in later today?”
He gives me a weird look, and what the fuck? I feel like everybody’s giving me weird looks these days. Like there’s something everybody knows, but I’m clueless. Well, fuck him.
“Yes, Willa’s—” he starts to tell me, but that Theo kid interrupts.
“Willa? She’s in the back right now with Rose. Want me to get her for you?”
Finally, someone who wants to help me instead of being all secretive and pissy. I smile. “Yea, that’d be great, thanks,” I tell him just as panic rolls over Ian’s features.
“Uh, Theo, she might not want—”
But it’s too late. Theo’s already called her name, and Willa steps out from the little office. She’s beautiful today, just like last night, like two days ago, like last year. Her hair is up, and she’s wearing a visor and an apron over jeans and a black tee. But underneath that uniform is the beautiful girl who stole my heart. Her eyes are still a brilliant green, but her expression is guarded, which is nothing new.
But she’s holding a baby—and that is new. What the fuck?
“You have a kid?” I blurt the words out before my brain can tell me not to. For all I know, she’s babysitting. Or that’s her sister. Or Theo has a kid, and she has to hold the baby while he cleans. That makes no sense, but my brain is scrambled. It’s like there are puzzle pieces in front of me that must fit together, but for the life of me, I can’t figure out how.
