I gothrough the motions at work. Seeing Knox again, especially when he was clearly about to have sex with that girl, has me shaken up a bit. But it’s a busy evening at Drip so I stay distracted making oat milk lattes and strawberry acai frappes.
I don’t usually work this late, but Ian’s out of town at a conference, so I’m covering his shift, and Mrs. Lipton is watching Rose. She’s a retired librarian waiting impatiently for her kids to give her grandchildren, so everyone wins. Part of me hates that Rose has to spend any length of time with someone who isn’t me, but that’s just the way things are for now.
My mind flashes back to the look on Knox’s face from earlier today. It’s hard to equate his looks of confusion and concern with the texts I still have on my phone from early last year. His words were so callous, so final, so harsh. And that’s what I need to remember. He can’t be trusted. Despite all his sweet words and promises, he cut me off without a second thought, not caring that I was pregnant with our child.Sounds like a you problem. As long as I live, I’ll never forget those words.
It’s just past 11 p.m., so we lock up and I finish mopping while Theo cleans out the refrigerated case. He’s not a talker, and that’s exactly what I need right now. If Mel were working, I’d spill my guts to her. Same with Ian. They both know Rose, of course, but they don’t know the full story or who her dad is. It was never relevant.
But now? Now I’m afraid he’s going to find me on campus or call Maid 4 U and ask me to return so I can finish cleaning his toilet. Or hell, he could come here to Drip. I’d be a fool to think I can avoid him, if he really does want to talk.
But God, I hope he doesn’t. I can’t take another conversation like the text exchange we had. He already shattered my heart into a million little fragments, and I’ve managed to build it up, only for Rose’s sake.
Part of me wants to run, to leave. I could pack our bags and have Rose strapped in her car seat in an hour or two. But where would we go? I have a few hundred dollars in my bank account at any given time, my credit’s pathetic, and the only people I know and trust live here.
I’m stuck here for the foreseeable future, praying like hell that Knox keeps his distance. But I learned years ago that prayers and wishes are useless. At the end of the day, no one’s coming to save me or make all my problems and worries go away, no matter how much I want them to. Once upon a time, when I found out I was pregnant, I thought Knox’s love might save me. I won’t make that mistake again.
* * *
Knox
Ten a.m. is fucking early. At least, it is for me. I like to schedule all my classes between one and five. I usually wake up at noon and that gives me plenty of time to come home and sleep afterward so I can hang out at night.
But my sorry ass has been up for an hour now. It’s just past 11 when I walk into Drip, but I don’t spot Willa right off, which is probably a good thing. I stand in line and scroll through my phone, just like everybody else here is doing. When it’s my turn, I ask for a large cold brew, no foam, and Mel obliges. I’m glad to see Ian’s not working today, either. Lucky for me. He and I don’t get along, but if he’s Willa’s boss, well... I’m already on thin ice with her, though fuck knows why. And I just don’t need to make the situation worse.
I take a seat by the window. It’s funny. I don’t come here often, but the last couple times I was in, I swore I could smell her perfume. I thought my mind was playing tricks on me since it’s a popular scent. But since I know she works here now, I have to wonder how many times we’ve just missed seeing each other. Bainbridge is a decent sized school, but not so huge that you get lost. It’s a wonder we haven’t run into each other already. And honestly, it’s strange she’s here in the first place. Was she here all last year, too? I remember her saying that she was going to a tech school to become an esthetician, but I guess plans change.
The bell over the door dings and I realize I’m about to get some answers. Well, I hope so anyway. Ambushing her at work is less than ideal, but things are unsettled between us—they have been for more than a year. And if I’m honest, she’s been on my mind this whole time. And yea, she could very well tell me to fuck off again. But I can’t shake the feeling that something’s off and fuck me running, but I want to know what it is.
Like the last time I was here, I smell her perfume, but now I know why. She doesn’t see me, just breezes in and strides behind the counter, grabbing an apron and tying it around her waist.
It’s now or never, I tell myself as I stand and walk toward the counter.
“Sorry that took longer than usual. Drop off was a little stressful today. I think—”
“Drop off?” I ask, my voice startling her. “What? You’re a drug dealer or something?” My joke falls flat, which is no surprise, considering I entered a conversation that wasn’t mine with a woman who wants nothing to do with me.
“Knox,” she says my name on a breathy whisper, but more the nightmare-kind than the daydream variety. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to talk to you. I know you’re at work, and despite what you probably think, I don’t want to piss you off. I just really think we need to talk.”
“Wait. Hold up,” Mel intervenes, and I can tell her head is spinning as she points at Willa and me. “You two know each other?”
“Small world, right? We graduated high school together. But we, uh...lost touch. I wouldn’t have even known where to find you, Willa, except Ty recognized your name and said you work here with Mel and Ian.”
“Ty, as in Phoebe’s boyfriend?”
“Yep. He was my best friend first, but yea. We share custody of him.”
Something about my words has her freezing up again, and dammit, why am I only making missteps with Willa these days? We were so perfectly in sync that week of graduation, but we feel worlds apart now. Fuck it. No one has ever made me feel the way she did, even if just for a short time. And I’ll be damned if I’m not chasing that feeling. And yea, maybe I’ll be disappointed, but that’s an emotion I know well.
A customer approaches the register, and Mel rings him up and starts his order. Willa’s gaze darts in her direction, and I know she needs to get back to work.
“Look, you’re busy, but do you have time to meet up? Maybe tonight? Or any time really. Whatever works for you is cool with me.”
“What do you want, Knox?”
It’s such a loaded question. And honestly, I’m not sure anyone else has ever asked it. The answer is tricky, though. “I just want to talk, Willa. To find out how the hell you’ve been. To figure out what I did to make you hate me. That was the best week of my life, no fucking joke, and... I just think we left things unfinished.”
“Knox, I—”
