Not for the first time I wonder what life would be like if I could change my name, or my face. Totally divorce myself from Rob and Tracy Givens and all they stand for. Where would life have taken me if my dad hadn’t died? I’d still be in Florida, and the woman who gave birth to me would remain just a name on my birth certificate.
The romantic in me wants to believe we’d still have met. That I’d have run into Phoebe in a coffee shop or something. Maybe some rom-com shit where her caramel disaster drink got switched with my actual coffee. Or maybe we’d have the same commute someday. Yea, I can see that. Alternate Future Ty would be captivated by the girl on the train with paint smudges on her cheeks and her hair in a messy bun.
But life didn’t work out that way.
Before I realize it, the lecture is over, and students are packing up around me. I toss my stuff in my bag and head out with the rest of my class. We all scatter in various directions. I’m done for the day, so I take the stairs, walk out into the cool autumn day, and head home. I make it about three steps before I stop, reach for my phone, and text Phoebe back.
Ty:I’d love to go, but I need to check. I have a couple things going on that day. How’s Jane treating you?
Phoebe:Don’t ask.
Ty:Feel like studying tonight?
Phoebe:Yes...but will we study or will we get naked?
Ty:Wasn’t aware this was an either/or. Can’t we do both?
Phoebe:Can we?
Ty:Fair point. How about this? I feed you dinner, we study for an hour or so, and then I quiz you. For every answer you get right, I get to remove an article of clothing.
Phoebe:Yours or mine?
Ty: Your choice.
Phoebe:See you at 7.
Ty: You’ll be naked by 9.
Phoebe:That’s what I’m counting on.
She’s counting on me to do delicious things to her. She’s counting on me to help her pass this class. She’s counting on me to be a good boyfriend.
But she’s not counting on the fact that I’m a fucking liar who doesn’t deserve her. I’ll keep up the charade as long as I can, because I have no choice. I’m addicted to her.
***
Chapter 14
Phoebe
“I need to read.”
“Absolutely,” Ty agrees, though his words don’t match his actions. We finished dinner five minutes ago, and we’re already upstairs on his couch, his arms looped around my waist, his face cradled in my neck, his body snug against mine.
“How am I supposed to read with you wrapped around me?”
“You seem to be able to do quite a lot of things with my arms wrapped around your body,” he says. “You can kiss like this...you can moan...you can rock against me, and... yea, fuck...just like that,” he says as I push my hips back to meet his body.
“None of those things are going to help me write my paper,” I complain, but I still lean into his kiss.
“Alright, alright…” he whines. “Let’s get started. Where’s your book?”
I look around and realize I grabbed the wrong bag. “Shit. I left it in my car.”
He kisses me on the nose, which should probably make me feel like a child, but instead makes me feel treasured. “No worries, Phee. You can borrow my copy.” He stands and walks to one of the bookshelves along the adjacent wall, pluckingPersuasionfrom a shelf.
“Thanks. I’ll take good care of it. Oh, crap. Do you have post-its? I don’t want to mark your copy up.”
