I feel myself fall to the ground and then everything goes black.
***
“Shhh, you’re ok, Phoebe. It’s me, Mel. Babe, I gotta buckle you. Put your hands down, ok? We’ll be home soon.”
I shake my head and Mel’s face comes into view. “Mel? Where? Where am I?”
“We’re in my car.”
I grip the seatbelt with all my might, as though it’s an anchor that will keep me here, lucid, and in this car.
“Take me home, Mel.” I can hear myself say the words, but my voice sounds small. I squeeze my eyes shut, shielding them from the light streaming through the windshield.
“That was the plan, babe. But, um...maybe we should call a doctor? Or your mom?”
“No. No, no doctors. And don’t call my mom. I can’t. She doesn’t need--” The panic in my voice is clear because Mel reaches a hand out and tentatively places it on my arm.
“Got it. Ok, no docs, or parents. For now.”
I keep my death-grip on the seatbelt, and my eyes remain shut, but now I’m counting backward from 100, hoping that by the time I get to one, we’ll be back home. My hope falters when Mel takes a sharp left turn, forcing me to open my eyes to an unfamiliar parking lot. I plaster my body impossibly further into the seat, literally digging my heels into the floorboards of her car. She comes around to my side and opens the door, but I’m not budging.
“Mel…”
“It’s ok, just come with me.”
“Where are you taking me? Where are we?”
“Ian’s. He’ll know how to help.”
Ian. Ian is gentle and kind, but I just want to hide right now. No bed, just the floor. Right after everything happened, I used to sleep on the floor next to my bed. It was the lowest I could get, the most grounded. I need that same sense of grounding now. I turn to tell Mel I can’t do this. I need to get home, but suddenly, there’s Ian, squatting down in front of me, holding out his hand.
“Phoebe, you’re okay. Will you let me hold your hand?”
I say nothing, but I place my hand in his.
“Good. Thank you. Let’s just sit here a minute, ok? Can you breathe for me? Nice and slow, just in through your nose and out through your mouth, ok? Yep, just like that, nice and easy.”
We stay like that for a few minutes before Ian coaxes me out of the car and into his apartment. I’d rather be back at my dorm, but neither of them will be satisfied until they see me actually calm down, and I’m still half-afraid Mel’s going to take me to the ER, and I don’t need that, so I comply.
It’s a short walk up a flight of stairs into Ian’s studio apartment. He’s leading from the front and Mel’s bringing up the rear, and I know it’s because they’re scared I’ll either fall or bolt.
The door to 2C is open, as though he left in a rush. The TV is still on, but Mel quickly turns it off and leads me to what passes for a living room.
“What the hell happened?” Ian’s whisper-hiss is muffled, and I’m blinking because the lights are so bright. Blessedly, they dim and I mumble thank you, but it feels like there are marbles in my mouth.
Melanie walk-shuffles me over to the couch and I collapse in a heap. I don’t remember a lot about coming here, but it’s starting to come back in pieces. “Oh, god. The party. Your friends. I’m sorry. I freaked out a little, and--”
“Breathe, kiddo. In through your nose, out through your mouth. That’s it. Again.” Ian crouches down in front of me and places a cup of water and a mug of tea on the table in front of me. I take a few sips of water and relax back on to the couch.
“Still waiting for someone to tell me what the fuck is going on…” Ian prods.
“Drink your tea,” Mel says gently, placing the cup in my still trembling hands. “Easy now. Ok. Are you good if I tell Ian what happened?”
I nod.
“So, we went to Sophie and Brooke’s to unwind from the week and drink a few glasses of wine. No big, right? I promised Phoebe a chill night, and it started out that way, but then Sophie’s boyfriend and his douchebag friends showed up.”
Ian nods. “The Dude Brigade. I am familiar. Did something happen? So help me, sweet, swaddled baby Jesus, if one of them touched you…”
