Elaine cuts the cake and feeds a slice to Simon, but not before showing us all the pink, fluffy center. Cheers erupt, and I get a spontaneous hug from one of Simon’s sisters. Someone calls out, “Damnit!” and I can only guess that Nick lost the bet, because I hear Duncan laughing.
I make chit-chat with Simon’s mom as we walk through the buffet together. Judging by the food, it looks like Simon took his buddies’ advice and ordered one of everything off Trick’s menu. I’m hoping for another chance to talk to Ev, but he gets called away to tap the keg. This is the weirdest gender reveal ever.
I tell Stella all about it when I get home.
“It sounds adorable, dear. And so like Simon and Elaine. I’m glad they celebrated their special day just the way they wanted,” she says, over a cup of tea and a pair of cupcakes Simon’s mom insisted I take home.
“It really was.”
“So, then, what has you so down? Was it so awful seeing Ev again for the first time since Dallas?”
“Yes.” I flop back onto the couch.
“Was he horrible? That doesn’t seem like him.”
“No, he was funny and kind and charming, and he told me he loved me, but he didn’t put any pressure on me and...” I have no more words, just tears. Stella joins me on the couch and wraps me in a hug, rocking us both gently, until I calm down.
“I’m just such a mess. He’s so perfect for me, and I miss him so much, but just the idea of getting married someday gives me hives and makes me anxious. And I know that’s what Ev wants, eventually. And it wouldn’t be fair of me to lead him on.
“And I know that Ev’s not remotely like the jerks I used to date. And I know not all marriages end in divorce like most of my parents’ unions have. But knowing it and believing it are two very different things.”
Stella holds my hand as she speaks. “I can’t tell you what’s right for you, darling. Only you know that. But I can tell you this. Walt and I were married for fifty years. Was it always perfect? Hell, no. Did we agree on everything? Of course not. But we loved each other. And, sometimes, that’s all you have—the love you make. So when you find it, you should hold the hell onto it. Because it never lasts as long as you want it to.”
“So, you think I should take a chance on Ev? Even though I’m scared? But what if I panic again?”
“You will. Or he will. But would you rather stay here, sad and lonely, without him, or be with him, despite the times you’ll both break each other’s hearts and drive each other batshit crazy?”
“You make a point, Stella,” I say, through more tears.
“I really am wise,” she agrees.
After a quick trip to the store for supplies, I broke out the Cricut and have been crafting up a storm. Now that I know Simon and Elaine are having a girl, I’m on a mission to make onesies, picture frames, and even a headband organizer. And, as the best friend, I was given inside intel on this baby girl’s name, so I’m personalizing damn near everything. The internet is an endless source of inspiration, and it’s cuteness overload on my dining room table.
Crafting keeps my hands busy, but it can’t take my mind off Ev. And it’s not just that he looked absolutely delicious in his suit today, or that it was so good to hear his voice again, or even that he understands why I ran. It’s just that I miss him in my life.
For the past few months, I’ve told myself I don’t have time for a relationship—that I just can’t handle one more person depending on me. But that’s not even right. Ev was never dependent on me. He never asked for anything from me, except my time and attention. And he gave it back tenfold.
And at the first sign of forever—a sign he had nothing to do with—I panicked and ran.
Ugh. I take a sip of my now-cold tea and wonder, for the thousandth time, how I can make things right. And if I’m really brave enough to take that leap.
Ava’s ringtone startles me out of my musings, and I answer it. “Hey, Av, what’s up?”
“Hey, Molls, it’s your dad.”
“Why do you have Ava’s phone?”
“We got this new plan, and these fancy new phones, and they all look alike.”
“You don’t have cases?”
“I ordered them off the internet. You never buy that stuff at the store, Molly. It costs you an arm and a leg. So, we’re without cases for two days, and I’m using my 17-year-old daughter’s phone, and I got some kid named Colin who keeps texting me.”
Oh. Dear. Colin is the guy Ava’s been talking to. This could end badly. I try not to laugh.
“So, what’s up, Dad? Other than your current phone mix-up.”
“I know it’s short notice, but some friends of ours have a place at the shore, and I’m thinking of taking Tracy there this weekend. Any chance you could stay over to look after Lily and keep an eye on Winn? Ava can handle it, but…”
