Molly: What’s the deal with this veil, sweetie?
Elaine: OMG. Am I being a bridezilla? It’s just so pretty, and I saw it online and wanted it so badly. At this rate, I’ll be wearing pjs to my wedding… (sad face)
Molly: No, I didn’t mean that! You deserve whatever makes you feel pretty. But, like, is it made of rare jewels or some shit?
Molly: Holy Jesus. Tell me this thing is not made of ivory?!!!!!!
Elaine: Oh, God no, that’s awful. No animal parts, I promise. You know me better than that. And it’s made of satin and Swarovski crystals. Is it pretty?
Elaine: Oh, no. Is it ugly?
Molly: Chill, E. I’m sure it’s not ugly. I haven’t seen it yet, but I’ll send a pic. The hotel staff is getting it from storage.
Elaine: Cool. But why are you freaking out about my veil? Like, what the hell with the ivory stuff?
Molly: Sorry, I’m in a weird place today. And the Barry hotel guy is being super secretive. Like, they locked your veil in a special room.
Elaine: Woah. Who knew it was that fancy. Thanks for getting it for me. And for doing all of that wedding stuff—that had to be exhausting!
Molly: No worries. And actually, it’s been tons of fun. You know I love to plan a party. Have you made any decisions? (Not bugging you, just being nosy)
Elaine: Ugh. No. Will you hate me if I say it’s all so completely overwhelming, and I don’t know where to start? And that’s shitty of me, I know. You guys have done all of this research and recon, but I still don’t know what we’re going to do.
Molly: Lovely, you stop that right now. We’ve had fun (and lots of sex), so we’re definitely not mad you threw us together to be your wedding planners.
Elaine:( Shocked face emoji)s
Molly: You guys have to do what’s right for you. Hell, have a cookout in the backyard, I don’t care. :)
Molly: ^^^Amend that to say I don’t care, as long as I’m still the MOH
Elaine: You know you are. And does that make Ev your best man? (laughing emojis)
Molly:Yea, um, I don’t think that’s the way it works…
Elaine: Blame the kid. This pregnancy is sucking my brain away.
Molly: I’m truly sorry to hear that. And so glad I don’t want children. Oh, Ev’s got your veil. I’ll take a pic for your approval. Love you!
Elaine: Love you! Ev already sent a pic to Simon, and yes, it’s the right one. (Heart emojis.)
“You ready to head up or do you want to stop at the bar for a drink?” Ev asks.
“Nah, I’m good. I’m going to take these shoes off, run a bath, and relax.”
“Sounds like a good way to spend the evening.”
“Oh, did I mention I’m also riding you like a cowgirl?”
“I mean, we are in Texas, so…”
We haul our packages from the day and Elaine’s veil into the elevator and ride it up to our floor. Despite the fact that I’m holding two shopping bags, my hands are itching with need for Ev.
He unlocks our door and holds it open. I walk through and scream.
“Holy shit, Molly, what’s wrong?” He steps in behind me, and I know I’m being ridiculous, but there are no words for the scene in front of me.
It’s like the bridal shower aisle of Party City threw up in here.
