And that pisses me off.
And I don’t know what to do about it.
So I take a drink.
And snack on some nachos. I can’t answer if I’m chewing—that’s just rude.
“Wow, you must be really hungry and thirsty…” He deadpans.
I nod, because my mouth is full. Also, if I open my mouth (once I’m finished chewing, of course), I might say hateful things.
“You’re also thoroughly pissed at me.”
Still chewing. Yep, chewing really well. No choking hazards here.
“And I can’t figure out why.”
I take a sip. You know, to aid with the chewing.
He arches an eyebrow at me, and I might have returned it with half a smirk. But only half. I’ve given him too much of myself already.
In a move that would rival the swiftness of an NBA star, Ev swipes the nacho platter in one hand and my water in the other, holding both just out of my reach.
Now, at 5’10”, I’m a tall gal. I’ve got long limbs. But he’s taller. And he’s got the wingspan of a condor. So unless I want to cause a scene in this restaurant, I’m not getting my food or beverage back any time soon.
“Really? You’re withholding food and drink?”
“Yep.” I want to wipe that smile right off his face.
“You want to know why you piss me off?”
“I do.”
“Fine. It’s because no one pisses me off. I am fucking charming and Goddamn delightful at all times.” I tell him this as I’m basically breathing fire in his direction.
“You were fucking charming and Goddamn delightful when I met you in December, “ he confirms.
“Right? That was me in my natural habitat. I. Am. Lovely.” I seeth.
“While I’m in full agreement, the steam that’s virtually spewing from your ears causes me a moment’s hesitation.”
“It’s because you’re back! You’re not supposed to be back! And you’re Elaine’s brother. You are not supposed to be Elaine’s brother!”
“Should I be taking notes as to all the things I’m not supposed to be or do?”
“No.” I roll my eyes.
“Wait, so is asking you if I should take notes one of the things I’m not supposed to do? Or is taking notes the thing I shouldn’t do? I’m just seeking clarification.”
“Oh, my God. None of this is going to matter because I’m going to strangle you.”
“Best to wait until after the boudoir shoot, don’t you think? You don’t want to rouse Lori’s suspicions. Plus, I know you want to see me naked again.”
He says it casually, and I know he means it to get a rise out of me, but dammit, he’s right.
“You’re right. And that’s the problem.” My admission leaves him speechless, just as Brittany arrives with our food.
She thanks him for holding our nachos up and out of the way, so she can place our plates down. “Sure thing,” he smiles. Bastard. He held that food hostage, so I’d confess!
