I sit in the waiting room on the vinyl-covered chair/couch combo and thumb through a magazine, regretting the fact that I left my book in the car. If I duck out to grab it now, I might miss my—
“Elaine?”
A tall woman in a navy suit leans forward from the doorway, a warm smile on her face, and my name not much more than a whisper on her lips.
I smile and nod, standing to gather my things and then follow her down the corridor.
She opens the last door on the left, and the room is small but cozy, bathed in soft light. She gestures to a couch along the wall, and I settle in as she takes the seat by the window.
We’ve talked on the phone, and though this is our first face-to-face meeting, I feel at ease.
“It’s so nice to finally meet you, Elaine. We have a full hour, so let’s just start with what’s on your mind.”
I mean to smile in return.
It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell her about my day.
I open my mouth to respond, but instead, I burst into tears.
Dr. Collins is quick to hand me a full box of tissues—the soft kind with the lotion. Her gentle smile returns as she says, “I buy these in bulk. I think I’m such a nice lady, but people are always crying on my couch.”
I shake my head and crack a smile at her attempt to lighten the mood. “I’m so sorry. I was fine in the waiting room. And on the drive here. And,” I pause to mop my nose and dab at my eyes. “I don’t want to waste our time sitting here crying.”
“I’m just curious, Elaine. Why do you think tears are a waste?”
At that, I just cry harder.
“And so we’re clear, our time here is for you. If you need to cry, you cry. If you need to talk, you talk. If you need to vent, you vent. These sessions are for you, Elaine.”
I meet her eyes and nod my confirmation.
“So, when we talked on the phone, you said you’d just come out of a relationship, and you want to work on yourself a bit, right? Take some time to find out your own worth, yes?”
I finally find my voice, even if it does crack a little. “Yes, yea that’s right.”
“Well then, let’s start there.”
The pressure seems to life from my shoulders, and I suspect it’s because I’m all cried out. I take a deep breath and dive right in.
