As if she senses that I need a break, Molly flags down our server and asks for chocolate lava cake with two spoons. I’m a lucky girl to have a BFF who can read my mind.
“Ok, enough about Simon or I’ll cry into my cake. What’s new with you? It’s been forty-eight hours since we last spoke. Any new love interests?”
“Ha! Not hardly. Brian’s good for an office quickie—emphasis on the quick, but no one else has been on my radar lately. I went to a club in Fairfield on Saturday night, but I just wasn’t feeling it. It’s like I’m bored with the bar scene. How is that possible?”
I laugh, because Molly is a social gal and a night owl. She’s always up for a party, regardless of the time. I start to open my mouth to say I’ll join her some night, but we both know that’s a lie. I’m not really much of a club girl. I’m more of a stay-at-home-and-watch-a-movie-with-my-boyfriend girl.
I guess she hears me sigh, because she rolls her eyes goodnaturedly. “Come on, E. We better finish this cake and head back to work. With Simon gone today and the two of us on a long lunch, that place may just fall apart.”
AS PROMISED, BETS ANDDunc bring dinner by, and it’s delicious—pizza from my favorite place and peanut butter pie. I might die of heartache, but I’ll die with a full stomach.
They don’t pester me for any more answers than I’ve already given, but it’s obviously the elephant in the room. Dunc’s telling more jokes than usual, just to compensate, and Bets is eyeing me up and forcing me to eat two slices of pie. Fine, Bets, just for you.
We talk a little as we do up the few dishes we’ve dirtied. It’s just general stuff like Thanksgiving plans and who has to bring what, and a story about Katie bitching because we’re eating at two, which is apparently tragic. We always eat at two, and Katie always thinks it’s tragic.
They linger for a little while, and I can tell they’re staying because they’re worried about me. And seriously? Am I that pathetic? I’m twenty-five, and I got my heart stomped on by a gorgeous, funny, smart girl. And I have to see said stunner at work everyday. And she’s one of my favorite people to talk to, romance aside. But realistically, I know I’m hardly the only person in the world who’s lovesick.
Still, I know they linger because they care. I put coffee on and invite them to stay for a movie. They jump on the invitation like Stormtroopers on a mission to annihilate the rebel forces.
I settle on the plaid velvet loveseat and leave them the couch. We tune intoSpaceballs, and Dunc’s laughing like an idiot five minutes into the movie. Sure, they lampoon my love of all thingsStar Wars, but deep down, I know they love it, too.
Bets is snuggled into the crook of Dunc’s arm and he’s feeding her bites of popcorn. I’m paying no attention to Rick Moranis at this point. And honestly, I’m not really studying Dunc and Bets, either. They’ve been like this forever.
But it gets me to thinking.
It’s not envy that I feel. I’ve never wanted to snuggle either one of them. And I don’t begrudge them their love. It’s theirs and they’ve more than earned it.
I’ve never necessarily wanted what they have in a general sense. I’ve never coveted it. I’ve never gone looking for a relationship, and honestly, relationships don’t really come looking for me.
I’ve never felt a strong desire to be half of a couple. I don’t seek more companionship than my life naturally provides.
Well, until Elaine.
It strikes me in a place above my ribs and to the right of my left shoulder that I want Elaine to be here.
Now.
Doing this.
I want what we had—lazy nights, snuggled up on a couch, watching a movie I’ve seen a hundred times and still laughing at all the best parts.
I want her here, hanging out with my very best friends.
I never had a Tamigotchi pet. I know it sounds like a non-sequitur, but stay with me. I’ve never wanted or needed what other kids had just because they had it. I never kept up with trends, and popularity was never on my radar. Back in school, I wore Nikes every day because they’re comfy, and they fit my ginormous feet. I wear cords because they’re soft. It doesn’t matter that no one else wears them. It doesn’t matter that those two things don’t go together at all. I like them. And I wore them religiously. I’d still wear Nikes to work if I could.
I wear glasses, not because I’m a hipster, but because the idea of touching my own eye to put a contact in it skeeves me out.
I never felt pressure to get a girlfriend. I never cared that Dunc coupled up with Bets five minutes after meeting her at my freshman move-in day. I never cared that Nick and Gavin always had girls around. A girlfriend seemed a silly thing to get just because your best friends had one.
I never wanted a relationship just because I’d reached an age where most people were paired off. I ignore my mom and my sisters when they attempt to set me up on dates. Why would I go out with someone just because she’s around my age and also single?
But I need Elaine.
At least, I like life better when she’s in it.
These past few weeks have been some of the best of my life.
I want a relationship with Elaine.
