“Sounds about right. So, no dick pic, for sure. But I think Dunc does have a point about wooing her. I say you invite her to dinner. Do it up. Wine her and dine her. Make her forget about the age difference hang-up, if that’s what her deal is. You said things were good last night, yea?”
“Perfect.”
“Okay, remind her of that. Solid plan?”
I nod, wondering if it’ll be enough.
“Good, now turn on the game. I’ve got money on the Packers and then we’ve got to get to the shop. Gav’s only in town for twenty-four hours, and we’ve got work to do on that sleeve.”
MOLLY AND I LOUNGEon big, comfy chairs while a fire crackles in the stone fireplace. We’re the sole occupants of the room, so we take the opportunity to talk and laugh as loudly as we please. I take a sip of my coffee and wait for the interrogation to begin. Molly’s gone easy on me so far. We talked about what color she should paint her bathroom (and I had a momentary flashback to the tropical fish at Simon’s place), and she told me a funny story about the baristas at the coffee shop she likes. But the chit chat is over now. I can tell by the look in her eyes. Sure, she’s sipping on a champagne cocktail and snacking on a chocolate-covered strawberry, but she’s ready for some serious dish.
“Okay, you’ve been fed, cleansed, and polished. Now, quit stalling and fill me in on your date with Wonderboy.”
Before I answer, I take a strawberry of my own and toy with the stem. I tuck my legs beneath me, careful not to smudge my newly painted toes. I’m all settled to spill. “So, he asked me out yesterday, after you and I had lunch. He was sweet and a little nervous, I guess. I totally thought he was joking at first.”
Molly just rolls her eyes. “You are the only person at Chesapeake Shores who didn’t know Simon was crushing on you, by the way.”
“About that. You should have said something. Might’ve saved me the embarrassment of checking to see if he was feverish when he asked me out.”
“You didn’t.”
“Oh, I totally did. I was kind of afraid he was playing a joke. Like punking me or something.”
“Punking? It’s not 2005, honey.”
“Thank Jesus, or Simon would be, like, ten.”
“And I’d be thirteen. What’s your point?”
“I was 21! I could legally drink in 2005! Well, December of 2005, but still.”
“And I was walking around my middle school wearing sweatpants with words like Juicy on the ass. Why are we going back to that bygone era? Focus. Simon asked you out, you performed a brief medical exam, and then what? Or was the medical exam not so brief? Tell me you gave him a prostate exam on your desk, you naughty thing.”
“Oh my God, you are ridiculous. Of course not. So, I said yes, which was silly. I knew it couldn’t go anywhere. We work together, for one thing. And, of course, there’s the age thing. But he was so earnest, and honest to God, I’ve had a little crush of my own for a while now. And that’s embarrassing because he’s way too young for me, but that dimple? God. And don’t even get me started on his forearms. You know I have an arm thing.”
“You do.”
“So, we met at Snark and had drinks and it was great. A little awkward at first, but he’s funny and charming, and I don’t know. It was a really good date.”
“Elaine!” She pulls the stem off her strawberry. “I know you had dirty sex with Simon, so spill already!”
I blush scarlet, but I take a breath and carry on. “Holy God, Molls, it was the best ever. You know how he’s all goofy and, I don’t know, geeky at work? In a cute way, but still. Anyway, I may have flirted a little. It’s safe to say I was emboldened by my Shirley Temple Black, and I may have offered him my cherry.”
“Shut up.”
“Not my actually cherry. That’s been gone since ‘03. But metaphorically—”
“I’m with you, Elaine. Keep going. And get to the good stuff. I’m living vicariously.”
“Really? Because you totally had office sex yesterday.”
“Guilty as charged, but Brian puts the quick in quickie, so keep talking.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Not as sorry as I am. Now, come on!”
“We left the bar, and he backed me up against a wall outside, and I nearly had an orgasm on the spot. Wonderboy is not just a genius when it comes to computers. So, before I lost my damn mind, right there, on Franklin Avenue, he took me back to his place where we thoroughly christened his kitchen counter and hisStar Warssheets.”
