“Jesus.” I scrub my hand over my jaw. I need to shave. I need to fucking relax. My anger is only pissing her off, when what I want is to take care of her. The entire time she recounted dealing with her roommates—women who should be her friends but obviously aren’t—my anger boiled to that of a barely contained rage.
She thinks I’ll drop her on the side of the road? She’s got to be fucking kidding.
“You are not getting out of this vehicle.” I lock the doors with the flip of a button to reiterate my statement.
She laughs, but it’s sort of a crazy sound. “Did you think I was going to jump out of a moving car?”
“Right now”—I chance a glance at her eyes, and yep—they’re as wild as I imagined—“I wouldn’t put it past you.”
“You have some nerve. You know, I didn’t want to tell you about my problems. You asked for it. I’m so sorry you can’t handle me at my worst, but this is me, real, and not pretending to be nice.”
Wait, what?She thinks I’m pissed ather? I signal and whip the Escalade onto the nearest off-ramp. With a safe place to pull to the side, I throw it into park and unbuckle my seat belt so I can fully turn and face her. If I wasn’t certain she’d scratch my eyeballs, I’d pull her into my arms. “Rachel. I am not angry with you.” I clench and unclench my fists, forcing an exhale to leave my lips. “I am livid on your behalf. I cannot believe your roommates. If I didn’t have a principle against hitting women, I’d go over there right now and punch all of them in the kidney.”
Her face morphs from anger to surprise. Mouth parted, her lips quiver as if she wants to laugh. “Kidney?”
“Hurts like a motherfucker.” I scratch my jawline and shrug, letting loose a chuckle. “Besides, I’m not a monster. Since they’re all aspiring actresses, I don’t want to get sued for ruining their ability to find work.”
“Ever the gentleman.”
“I aspire to be.” On the console between us I offer my hand. Wanting to convey how sorry I am, how much I want to comfort her. After a long moment, she places her palm against mine. I give it a squeeze. “But I’m doing a really shitty job if you thought I was mad at you. I wish you didn’t have to deal with this. I wish I could make it better.”
“Jude.” She sighs, and thankfully the indignation is gone from her tone. Her gaze meets mine and in it I sense a vulnerability she doesn’t often share. As quick as it’s there, it’s gone. “Not your problem. Besides, you can’t fix everything. I promise I’m not some hopeless damsel in distress.” She laughs, pulling her hand back into her lap.
“No.” I glance at her, my lips ticking up at the corner. “No, you’re not. I never meant to imply otherwise. I just hate the idea of you living there.”
“You and me both.”
I glance at the clock. We’re good on time, but LA traffic can change in a second, and I don’t want her to be late for her first day on this film set. “I should get you to work.”
“Thank you.” She lifts her gaze and offers me a smile. “I really do appreciate you.”
My chest fills. My lungs tighten. With those simple words I feel ten feet tall. She has that power and she doesn’t even realize. Good thing, because if she did, she’d probably use it to her advantage like every woman before her.No. Rachel isn’t like the others. There’s a goodness in her. She’s not a user, she’s a giver. It’s probably the reason I have an insatiable need to be around her. Why I’d call in a favor simply to make her life easier. It’s terrifying, really, the lengths I’d go for her, and we’re not even together.
19
Rachel
After Jude drops me at the front security office, I check in and receive my clearance passes. I’m familiar with the process, but this is the first time I’ve been granted access to the bigger lot. I wait with a group, and we catch the next shuttle. Inside the studio, I’m met by a PA who shows me to the hair and makeup team, Devin, Roz, Kendall, Amy, and De’Shaun.
“Come on, baby doll.” De’Shaun waves me over. “You’re with me today.” His wide, friendly smile instantly calms my nerves. I also admire his expert use of eyeliner and sense of style. His red shoes, white jeans, and ironic white T-shirt with bold black lettering that reads BOSS BITCH lend a bold and unapologetic style I already love.
“So, how’d you land this gig?”
“Honestly? I don’t know. But I’m grateful to be here.”
He stares as if gauging my words. Almost as if he’s deciphering whether I’m telling the truth. I don’t take offense, because I have nothing to hide. I also know how people lie, claw, and sleep their way to a job in this industry. He’s right to be wary. “Hmm,” he hums, as if surprised at whatever conclusion he comes to about my answer. Then he nods for me to follow. “Shall we?”
I take everything in as he gives me a quick tour of the set and rundown of our day. Apparently, they’ve been prepping for this film for weeks, but the girl with my job checked herself into rehab last weekend and they’ve been scrapping by until production hired a replacement.
“Not gonna lie. When they said they were adding a new girl, I was worried.” De’Shaun blinks exaggeratedly, then shoots me a wink.
I can’t help but laugh. “But you’re not now?” I pick up my pace to meet his longer stride. We weave around a few clusters of people and dodge an incoming golf cart.
“I read auras.” He waves me off. “Yours is pure as honey. We’re gonna get along just fine. That and you didn’t sleep your way to be here.”
“No. Didn’t do that.” I chuckle wryly. “I’d have to be having sex for that to happen.”
He bursts into laughter. “Yeah, we’re gonna get by just fine.” He stops short at one of several trailers and climbs the steps.
