I want her. I’ve thought of nothing else since. I’m full onjonesingfor her.
So yeah, maybe the thing between us began as a means to keep my place in the band. Only Opal isn’t just some girl. She’s gorgeous and innocent, and funny and smart, too. I only meant to keep things between us casual. To find out what my uncle wanted and move on.
That is, until last night.
Last night was different.
I wanted to be with her. I wanted to be with her a lot more than is a good idea. Fuck, I should be awarded sainthood for how I sat there and kept my hands to myself while watching her get turned on by porn. Porn that I supplied. But then we kissed.
Okay, so the sainthood is a stretch.
“There he is. I told you he’d show.” Austin pushes off the bus and stubs his cigarette out on the ground with his heel.
Sean levels his glare as I approach. The door to the bus is open and the engine running. Shit. I hope I had the load in time right.
“What, you think I’d miss all the fun?” I slug Austin’s arm with a light punch, and race up the steps. Careful not to meet Opal’s gaze across the space because, yeah, I’m a fucking coward, I toss my bag into my bunk. “Things are just getting interesting.”
“Dude, it’s too bad you’re such a baby. We had a good time last night.” Austin’s lips pull wide into a grin, and he saunters over to one of the recliners. “Without you.”
Sean shakes his head and claps me on the back as he passes by to take the empty seat next to Austin. “He’s not lying. The bar we went to played some sick blues. I’d love to jam out like that.”
“Yeah, it sucks not being twenty-one.” I shove my hands into the front pockets of my jeans before meeting their stares. I shrug and fight the grin that threatens to take over my face. “But when your balls are covered in gray hairs, I’ll still be in my prime.”
“You calling me old?” Austin laughs out loud.
“Yeah, Gray Bush, I am.” I give in to the smile.
“Gray Bush!” Trent cackles with laughter. He’s standing in the kitchen, and from my peripheral view I can tell Opal’s there, too. “I hope that nickname sticks.”
Austin glares at Trent.
Sean tips his chin in my direction. “So, what’d you do since you couldn’t go play with the big kids? You bounced pretty fast once we got to the hotel.”
“Oh, I—” My gaze flicks to Opal even though it shouldn’t. The hurt in her eyes when I left her alone last night has only amplified.Fuck.I drop my gaze to study my shoes.
“Whoa, why do you look so guilty?” Sean says.
Austin leans back and laughs. “He was probably watching porn, alone in his room.”
“Busted. My night wasn’t anything spectacular.” As hard as I try, I can’t not look at her. To gauge her reaction to my comment is foolish, but in some sick way, penance for the harm I know it causes.
There’s no light. No smile. Her eyes shine with unshed tears. Fuck, I’m an idiot. Without a word she slides from her seat in the booth and heads toward the restroom.
“Okay, guys! We’re rolling out!” Jay calls from the front of the bus, and with a rev of the engine we’re back on the road. The guys discuss the show from last night. They talk about the set. Shoot the shit. But I wander into the kitchen and pretend to look busy. Really, I’m waiting for Opal.
I wait. And wait, and wait, but she doesn’t come back. Fuck. I wait until I can’t stand it anymore and then I stroll down the hall and give a light knock on the bathroom door.
“One second.” The minute she opens the door I know I’ve fucked up.
“You’ve been crying.” I stand in the doorway so she can’t pass. I’m scared she’ll run and shut me out. That I might lose my nerve and let her.
“No, I—” She shakes her head, but then drops her gaze to the floor. “Yeah. Yeah, I have.”
“Second time I’ve put tears in those eyes,” I mutter under my breath. “I’m sorry, Opal.”
She runs her index fingers underneath her eyes, wiping away what remains of the wetness. The sight guts me and yet she’s as beautiful in this moment as she was last night. The oversized Three Ugly Guys T-shirt falls low on one shoulder, showing off her pale skin dotted with freckles I’d like to trace with my lips.
“It’s fine. I get it.” She shrugs. I wish she would lift her gaze and meet my eyes. Surely she’d understand how horrible I feel.
