“Don’t do that.” I scoff and reach for the doorhandle.
“What?”
“Look as though you wished we’dnever—”
“Sometimes I do. Right now Ido.”
“Damn it, Jess.” She regrets sleeping with me. She regrets me. But I don’t her, and if that makes me a selfish bastard, so be it. The sad thing is, I’m happy to have had one night with her rather than none atall.
“You don’t understand.” She’s back on that again, but all I can do is hold on tohope.
I turn the lock and inch open the door, but before I step out of the room I meet her worried stare. “You saidsometimes?”
Shenods.
“So, sometimes . . . sometimes are you happy we weretogether?”
Her eyelids drift shut and her lips form a frown. “More than I evershould.”
Thank God.“Good.”
“It’s not good, Sean. It’shorrible.”
“It’s enough for me.” I step out of the room she shares with Coy and cross over to mine. “I’ll see you in a fewdays.”
“Where are you going?” Her body fills her doorframe and she regards me with an expression I can’t quitename.
I take in how beautiful she is without any effort or makeup. I memorize her in this moment, even if she’s not mine. She’s the very reason for my impromptu trip. “Someplace that helps me remember who Iam.”
* * *
Idon’t go backto the studio. Instead, I take a shower and book a flight to my parents’, then shove everything I need into a bag. It really isn’t much. The photograph on the wall hangs as a reminder of everything that went down and how she won’t leave. The rip through the canvas cuts the polished beauty of the portrait, but I can’t bear to throw it away. It’s damaged but I have hope it can berepaired.
I glance in the mirror and the black eye makes me appear every bit as battered as my soul feels. I pull on a ball cap and pair of dark shades and pray the press doesn’t spot me at the airport. With one last look behind, I sling my bag over my shoulder and headdownstairs.
“Hey, where are you running off to?” Trent calls from down thehallway.
With a heavy sigh, I meet his stare. “My parents. I’ll miss a few days ofpractice.”
He walks over, his palms up and gaze narrow. “Wait, what? I was only joking. Everything okay withthem?”
“They’refine.”
“So, you’re leaving because . . .” He tips his chinupstairs.
My jaw works back and forth a few times. I was attempting to sneak out—like a fucking coward—but I don’t know how to explain this without letting down my bandmates. “I need some space to get my headstraight.”
“Sean . . .” He pinches his lips together and runs a hand through his hair. “Please tell me we still have a drummer. That you didn’t really fuck his woman. Sean, we leave in twoweeks.”
“I know, and I didn’t fuck her.” We made love. Omission is still a form of lying, but it won’t do anyone any good if I fess up now. Besides, Jess made her choice. “I don’t like him, Trent. I more than don’t likehim.”
“He’s not that bad. I mean, he did think you slept with his girl. I’d freak,too.”
I can’t believe he’s giving Coy a pass. “You’ve seen the way he treats Jess. How he speaks to her. You’d never do any of that shit toLexi.”
He nods with wide eyes. “Cause we all know she’d beat myass.”
“This isn’t a joke,Trent.”
