Lexi doesn’t speak during the trip from her dad’s house to our hotel in downtown San Diego. Not when we check in, nor on the ride up to the eleventh floor. She doesn’t even comment on the extravagance of the suite. We could have stayed at my place in the Hills, but I wanted to be closer to her father’s place in Mission Beach. I anticipated we might be going back and forth, but never expected we’d be too late. Or that her mom would be so hateful.
Her shoulders droop as she sinks into one of the oversized chairs with a view out over the bright lights of the city.
I drop our bags near the door and kick off my boots before finding her gaze has moved from the window to me. “Do you want to talk about what happened today?”
“With my father?”
“No. With your mom. Are you okay?”
“Am I okay?” She tilts her chin to return her attention to the view outside, or maybe her own reflection in the window’s glass, and exhales in a rush. “That’s such a loaded question, Trent. I don’t even know how to answer.”
I move closer, holding my hands out until she takes them and stands to meet my stare. “It’s okay to not be okay. You know? It’s okay to be pissed off, angry, sad.”
“What if I’m not?” Her eyes widen with open honesty.
“Not what?”
She flicks her lip ring with the tip of her tongue. “What if I’m broken? Because my dad died today, Trent. Myfather. The man who supposedly asked for me in his last hours. And you know what I feel right this second? I feel fucking relieved. Relief. That’s what I feel right now. That’s so fucked up and I know it.”
“You’re allowed to feel that way, Lex. There are no rules or protocol for dealing with loss.”
“But normal people, they’re sad. They wish for more time. More memories. Me? I keep thinking how I never have to worry about running into him now. About not having to fight with my mom when she begs me to call him. About having to pretend I’m normal when everyone tells stories about how much they love him. I fucking hated him, Trent. Part of me is so glad it’s over.” She sags into my arms and I hold her tight.
“I’ve got you, Lex. I’ve got you.”
“You probably think I’m a horrible person. I understand, I do. And I’ll understand if you’re done.”
“Done? Lexi, do you think this is gonna make me run? I’m not leaving.”
“But if you want to ...”
I lean back so she can see how serious I am. “No. I’m not fucking leaving. Do you get that? I’ll never leave. Not even if you ask me to. Not even if you push me away. If you run, I’ll chase you. I know how fucking creepy that sounds, but I love you, Lexi Marx. I fucking love you.”
“My stalker.” She rolls those gorgeous eyes.
“I prefer boyfriend, but you know, we can work on the title.” I dip my chin, brush my lips over hers once, twice, and relish in the way she clings to me, gripping my shirt in her hands. When we break apart she meets my gaze with no mask, and her vulnerability shines through wide eyes.
“It’s so hard for me ... For me to believe you mean that. I hear the words, but I still worry you’ll change your mind. If I wake up tomorrow and you’re gone, I won’t be surprised.” She glances away. “You sure you want a girlfriend like that? One you have to run after?”
“Lexi.” I grab her shoulders so she can’t turn away and she has to meet my gaze again. “I want you just as you are. And we both know I’ll chase you at a speed more like a swagger. You know, my hair, my clothes, I need to look good while I’m chasing you.”
“I love you, Trent,” she whispers and my heart skips a beat. I swear it does.
“I love you, too. I’ll say it until you believe me. I’ll show you, I’ll prove it every damn day of our lives together. I’m not going anywhere. Not when you hold my heart.”
“That was almost songworthy. You sure you don’t want to take a crack at writing another duet?” Her lips pull up until a smile transforms her face.
“Let’s not get carried away. Besides, I have a better plan.”
“Mmmm ... Does it involve Mr. Trent and your wicked tongue?” She takes a step closer so our bodies are flush, and rubs her palm down the front of my pants. “Because I could go for that.”
Fuck. She really is the perfect woman for me. That’s why I have to show her, to prove we deserve each other. I circle her wrist with my fingers and remove her hand before my body forgets that. “That’s later. Come on, let’s go before I change my mind.”
She laughs, a soft, throaty sound and shakes her head. “Okay, but do I have time for a quick shower? I promise I’ll be fast.”
“Sure.”
She slings her bag over her shoulder and walks to the bathroom.
