My brain hustles to connect her words. “About the show?” My brows knit and for a moment her stony expression drops.
A knock at the bus door as Austin sticks his head inside kills any fraction of vulnerability she was willing to show. “Trent? You coming? Oh, hey, Lexi.” He jogs up the remaining steps.
My eyes are transfixed, studying the woman in front of me while Austin taps an irritating beat against the wall. I don’t look at him and I don’t offer a response. Tonight was supposed to be about Lexi. About us. Even though she hasn’t said the words, I’m not so clueless I don’t realize something has drastically changed. If only I knew what it is so I can fix it.
“Trent, bro. We’re leaving in five,” Austin says again but I wave him away. He takes the hint and goes back outside.
“Lex,” I murmur, a plea, but her eyes are hard when they finally meet mine.
“You should go,” she suggests, her voice devoid of emotion.
“I should go?” I hear the guys outside. Laughter, insults, and boisterous banter makes its way inside through the open door. They’re going out in search of dinner. It’s guaranteed to be a good time, but I don’t want to join them because I’d rather be with Lex. Fuck, it hurts that she doesn’t feel the same.
Lexi drops her stare and sets her cup on the table, sliding into a chair and picking up her pen and notebook. Ignoring me.
“Trent. Let’s go, man!” Sean shouts from outside.
Lexi glances up, pen poised on paper, and her lip ring catches the spotlight above. “Did you need something else?”
“Fuck this.” I almost growl I’m so damn frustrated. Confused. Hurt. “I’m out. I don’t have time for this shit.” I stomp to the door, grabbing my jacket from my bunk on the way. Before I descend the steps, I halt and turn to look over my shoulder. Lexi’s just watching me, smiling as though she knows some joke I don’t. “What?”
“Nothing. Have fun tonight,” she says sweetly with a know-it-all smugness wrapped in her tone.
“You’re a piece of work, you know that?” This time my voice is just as hard, just as cruel. Her smile disappears in a flash and she goes back to that goddamn notepad. “What? Nothing else to say?” I wait for what feels like minutes when it’s probably only seconds. “Fine. I’m going. Remember, this is how you wanted it.” I glare before stepping outside, but she never looks up. Just sits there perfect, and beautiful, and like a fucking stone wall. I can’t break her down. I don’t know why I even tried.
Pushing out into the night air, I round the bus to walk off some steam before finding the guys. The last thing I want to do tonight is get in a cab and be around people, because I know I’m horrible company. A woman won’t make me happy. A bottle won’t make me forget. I’m so caught up in my thoughts I don’t see Iz leaning against the wall at the freight entrance until the end of his joint glows with his inhale.
“Shit, Iz. What are you doing? You almost gave me a heart attack!”
His deep rumble of a laugh fills the night air. “Same thing I do every stop. Find a quiet place to get high.”
“Dude, that’s dangerous and shit. What if no one sees you out here and you pass out?”
“Then I pass out, man. Wouldn’t be the first time.” His face lights up with another inhale.
“That’s irresponsible. We care about you, dumbass. Something could happen to you!”
“Dude. You’re killing my buzz. What crawled up your ass?”
“Nothing. Fucking nothing.”
There’s that laugh again. “That damn girl, huh? Nothin’ makes a man go crazy like a beauty who can shred like she does.”
Part of me wants to argue or deny it, but I’m so fucking pissed right now. Playing tonight on that stage was fucking amazing. Knowing Lexi was watching, waiting for me, it spurred me on with a high that reverberated through my veins. Hands down, it was my best live performance of all time. And to come offstage with her nowhere to be found ... I was worried. What if something had happened to her? Was she hurt, sick? But no, none of that was true. She was writing in her notebook the whole damn time. Probably didn’t stay to watch more than half the show.
I glance at the ground, to Iz, then the sky. Since there’s no one back here, I let all my frustrations escape in one long shout.“FUCK!”
“Feel better now?” Iz says, his eyes glassy and lids half cracked.
“Not really. I don’t get it, Iz. I don’t fucking get it. We were together for one night, but this has been weeks in the making. More than just attraction. It was more than a one-time fuck. I care about her, and you know me, I keep my circle small. I thought she felt the same, but man, after talking to her ... I just feel played.”
“Here.” Iz pushes off the wall and hands me his joint. “You need it more than I do.”
I don’t usually indulge, but considering the situation, I have to agree. Pinching the paper-wrapped weed between my lips, I inhale.
I hold my breath until it burns, then hand the joint back to Iz and nod.
“Now.” He sucks it between his mouth while I exhale the smoke in a thin stream. “You need to tread easy with that girl. She’s been through shit. This lifestyle, the one you lead, it’s got all sorts of triggers for her.”
