Morning comes, and with it disappointment because I know this is over soon. Having Lexi in my arms, her holding me as if she can’t get close enough, is what I can only describe as a spiritually awakening experience. Sure, logically I know she was only attempting to stay warm. But until last night I’d never had a woman sleep in my bed, completely sober, with no sex involved. Before Lexi, I would have thought that was pure torture.
Only it wasn’t. And I didn’t even want to fuck her. I mean, I would have if she asked, but she wasn’t going to ask me. Besides, I was more focused on how her breath felt against my chest every time she exhaled, how her leg pressed against mine, the skin soft and smooth. How she felt like home to my wanderlust heart. If there was any way I could spend every night like this, with her wrapped in my arms, I would take the chance. Because she unlocked something I never knew I was capable of. I cared about her, cared for her, and I wanted more than to roll in the sheets with this woman.
I wanted her to be mine, and me to be hers.
It’s that frightening thought that has me sliding from her body and the warmth of my bed to gain some goddamn perspective. Pulling on a pair of sweats, I make my way out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. I chug a bottle of water and grab an extra to take back to her before she wakes. She’ll probably want her toothbrush too, now that she’s feeling better. At least no fever. A quick peek inside her sleep cubbie and I can’t find it there. Her cell’s inside so I pull it from the charger. I’m not sure what else she’ll want and decide it’ll be easier to just ask.
The bus chugs along the miles of concrete while the landscape of green goes by in a blur. I’m not sure how far out we are from Baltimore, but we haven’t hit the city yet so I shoot off a quick text to Bedo before everyone wakes up and the craziness of preparing for another show begins. Creeping back down the hall I open the door to sneak back to Lexi.
“Hey. You’re up?” I’m surprised when I find her standing inside, the sheets wrapped around her like a cloak. “I brought you a water. How are you feeling?” I hand her the bottle and move back to the bed’s corner, taking a seat to get a grip on the nerves that bounce around inside my body. There’s a strangeness, an awkward feeling on my part, knowing we shared such an intimate but not sexual time, and I don’t know how to deal.
“Thanks for the water. I’m much better.” She doesn’t quite meet my eyes. She’s uncomfortable, too. “And thanks for last night.”
“But was it as good for you as it was for me?” I wink and stick out my tongue. Humor’s always my best defense.
“And he’s back!” She rolls her eyes, plopping on the bed with a sigh.
“I’ll be here all week, folks!” I laugh, stand up, and rummage through the dresser for a clean T-shirt. “You probably want something to wear, but I wasn’t sure where you have your stuff and everyone is still asleep out there. So ...” I pull my lips into a grin when I come across one of our old band tees. “This will be huge on you.” I turn and toss it so she has to catch it. I’m a little disappointed she’s got that sheet secured under her arms. Of course, I already got a glimpse of her sexy panty and bra combo, but the enjoyment was tainted with real fear for how sick she was. It would be nice to get a better view today.
She holds up the shirt and shakes her head. “Oh, hell no. I am not wearing this!”
“What? It’s a shirt.”
She turns it around so I can read the front, as if I don’t know it says “I spent a night with Three Ugly Guys.” I’m the one who came up with the catchy slogan. “I’m not wearing this shit.” Her jaw locks in a stubborn glare.
“It’s not entirely untrue.”
“But if I put it on, it will burn away a piece of my soul. And self-respect.”
“Fine. Don’t wear it. But this belongs to me.” Faster than she can follow, I reach down to grab a fistful of the sheet she’s wearing, and yank.
“Fuck!” She springs off the bed and I get a clear view of the sexy pink undergarments before she tugs the shirt over her gorgeous body.
“It puts the 3UG band shirt on its skin ...” I taunt, changing up the movie quote. She doesn’t think I’m funny. Or maybe she hatesSilence of the Lambs.
“You are an asshole, you know that?” She twists the cap off the water bottle and gives me a glare before drinking.
“Come on. You don’t really think that,” I tease, pulling my buzzing phone from my pocket. “Good. Bedo’s got a doctor meeting us in Baltimore. I think you’re out of the woods now that your fever broke.”
“I’m fine. I don’t need a doctor.”
“Yeah, but better safe than sorry.”
“Trent. I don’t need it. I’m fine.”
“You weren’t fine last night.”
“How did I know you would throw that in my face? Is that why you were so nice? So you could hold it against me later?” She pushes off the bed, grabs her pillow and rushes to the door.
I back up and grip the handle so she can’t leave. “Lexi, none of this was a game. I want to take care of you. I don’t like seeing you in pain.”
She inhales sharply, as if my words hurt as much as a slap. “I’m not yours to take care of. I’m fine on my own. Okay?”
“No, not really. It’s good to have someone in your corner, Lex. It doesn’t make you weak or insignificant to accept help.”
“Let me out of your room. Now!”
“Jesus. Why are you making this a thing?” I pull open the door and let her pass, only because I know she can’t run far. We’re on a goddamn bus. I inhale and exhale a harsh breath while my gaze passes over the rumpled bedsheets. We didn’t do anything last night, but goddamn that was by far the most exposed I’ve ever been, or want to be, with a woman. Everything about Lexi is a contradiction, and as confusing and frustrating as she is, I still want more. Maybe, just maybe, she’s as frightened as me. Maybe she wants more, too.
