Last night did not live up to my expectations. That perfectly air-conditioned room and clean and comfy bedding, it should have been enough to get a great night’s rest. Only it was after four in the morning before I finally found sleep.
A few factors contributed to my inability to fall asleep. The first being my delivery takeout that gave me horrible indigestion and gas. For that alone I was grateful to have my own room and not a semi-public cubicle on the bus. The guys would never let me live that down. But it wasn’t only the spicy Thai that kept me from finding rest. It was I couldn’t stop thinking about Trent and Cora across the hall.
Which is stupid.
Because he is a grown man with an unapologetic sex drive. Why should it bother me to know he was with a woman? A beautiful, perfect,tallwoman. I hated the thought of them hooking up.God, was I feeling jealous?That just pissed me off more. And even though I didn’t want to think about Trent and Cora together, it was a valid concern that their sex sounds would reach me from across the hall. So I cranked up the volume on the remote. At least I had reruns. Friends, Seinfeld, even M*A*S*H. They all kept me entertained until I finally met the sandman.
Today I’m trying to move forward. To not think about it. But it’s proving more problematic than I anticipated. There’s a strangeness that settles in the bus, and it’s not only me. The entire band is acting weird as our driver travels the miles and miles of stretching pavement. Trent won’t meet my eyes from where he studies his phone at the table. Maybe he’s exhausted from being all up in Cora Bentley.Ugh. Let it go, Lexi.Even Iz is out of sorts, barking orders at the driver when he’s usually chill as a cucumber. Or rather, a man on a lifetime high of weed.
My phone rings from my bunk and I set my notebook down in my seat to go pick it up. When I see who’s calling I decide today can officially go to hell. I consider not picking up, but she’ll only redial until I concede. I answer. “Hey, Mom.”
“Hey, baby girl. How’s it going?”
“Good. I just saw you yesterday, remember.” I want to roll my eyes but it’s not worth the movement considering she can’t see them.
“Yes, I remember, but it’s been hours. A lot happens in a day.”
“Whatever, Mom.” I turn around and find all four guys watching me, as if my conversation is a form of entertainment. I flip them the bird and it makes me feel marginally better, even though they don’t stop observing me.
“So ...” She pauses a moment before prying, “Any rock stars steal that precocious heart of yours yet?”
“God, no!” I glare at Trent and he averts his gaze to his phone again.
“It wouldn’t be so horrible ...”
I stroll over to the table and sit down next to Sean. Since they’re already listening in, I might as well get comfortable. “Mom, let’s not do this. You know I don’t judge you, but all rock musicians are a bunch of egotistical, cheating, manwhores.” I punctuate the words.
Trent’s lips pull into a smirk, Austin winks and blows a kiss, and Sean flips me the bird while he takes a drink from his protein shake. Iz doesn’t even look up or acknowledge my comment from where he taps at his smartphone and sends a bird crashing into a pile of rocks.
“I just want you to be happy, Lexi. Are you happy?”
I stand up, her question sparking an uncomfortable depth she and I usually avoid. For someone who couldn’t be bothered with dinner, she sure wants to play catch-up now. Time to divert this conversation to something more trivial.
“How are things at home?” I wander down the hall to Trent’s door. I should probably ask first, but I don’t think the guys will care if I use the back room to talk with my mom. I step inside and consider sitting on the bed, but knowing how it’s used leaves me unable to relax on the unmade sheets. Who knows the last time they were washed? I shudder to contemplate how many different jizz stains are dried into the thread count.
My mom goes on about the latest news, who is seeing whom, who is getting divorced, what book she’s reading in her club this month. I try to pay attention but it’s distracting not knowing where to sit or what to do while she jabbers about people I hardly remember. I “yes” and “oh, yeah” at all the appropriate places, but my mind wanders to the men down the hall. I wonder what they’re saying, doing, and when I hear the clatter of dishes, the telltale sign of making dinner, I wonder if they’ll leave any food for me.
“Lexi, I need to tell you something.” Mom’s voice cuts through my thoughts. Her tone is pained. Uncomfortable. I go on alert and stop my pacing in front of the large built-in dresser that holds most of the band’s clothes.
“What is it, Mom?”
“It’s your dad.”
“Don’t call him that.”
“Baby, don’t do this. He’s your father,” she pleads. I’ve heard it all before.
“Sperm donor. I don’t have a relationship with him, nor do I want one.”
“He’s really sick, Lex.”
“Okay.”
“It’s bad, Lexi. He only has a few weeks.” Her voice wavers and her sobs interrupt for a moment. “I don’t want you to live with regrets.”
“No. No.” I shake my head and kick the dresser.Fuck. That hurt. “I’m not doing this right now.” I tilt my head because the bottom drawer, the one I just stubbed my toes on, has this tiny bit of fabric sticking out of the corner. Normal. Sloppy. Sure—but for the fact it’s bright pink and almost looks like lace. Much like my ...Fuckers!I drop to the ground and yank the drawer out to reveal an entire stash of my undies—all my missing panties—shoved into this drawer.Oh, hell no!
“Mom, I’ve got to go.” I grind out through clenched teeth.
