“How are you feeling?” I asked.
However, Eva blurted out… “You won’t make me give it up or anything at the last minute, will you?”
I felt my jaw unhinge toward the floor. “Why in the world would you ever think I’d do such a thing?”
She put down her fork. “Can you blame me?”
“I don’t know who I can blame, but I’d like to not blame anyone. Have I ever given you the impression that I’m that kind of person?”
She flopped back against her seat. “I don’t know anything anymore. I don’t know where we stand. I don’t know where I stand in your life. I don’t know where this will stand with Asia.”
I held out my hand for her. “Come here.”
Her eyes met mine. “Gavin, this changes so much.”
I wiggled my fingertips. “Just come here, please.”
She leaned forward and slid her hand against my own. “I can do this on my own if you aren’t ready for another child. You don’t have to be the hero of this story. I mean, I didn’t see myself having children like this, or even this soon, but it happened, and I’m ready to take on the responsibility. I just don’t want to ruin your life with something I thought I was combatting properly.”
I scoffed. “Eva, you aren’t doing this alone even if you wanted to. That child you’re going to be growing is half of me, and no woman carrying my child is going to be doing anything alone. You got that?”
She swallowed hard. “So, we’re really doing this? We’re keeping the baby?”
I sighed. “I’ve always wanted more children. But, the life that I lead and my career path doesn’t always make time for that kind of thing. It’s hard just being there for Asia with the life I lead and how much I bounce around for my jobs and projects.”
“So, we’re fucked is what you’re saying.”
I snickered. “I’m not saying that at all. I’m just saying it’s not going to be easy. Am I worried that it won’t be fair to bring another child into the life I lead? Yeah, I’m worried. I see the toll it’s taken on Asia over the years, but I also know a lot of that is because of her mother not protecting her the way she should have. Asia was a media pawn from a very young age, and it’s made her very skittish and anxious about the outside world.”
She shook her head. “I’d never do that to our child. Never. I’ll protect both this little one and Asia like they’re my own.”
“Which is exactly why I hired you to be my nanny in the first place. You’re good to my daughter. Better than her own damn mother is. And you’re going to be a fantastic mother to our child. But, whatever else gets thrown our way, I’m ready for it. The question is, are you?”
Nervousness washed over her features as she pulled her hand away from mine again. She was afraid. She had more to lose in this scenario than I did. And for the life of me, I had no idea how to reassure her except be honest with her about my feelings.
“Would you like to talk about something else right now?” I asked.
She nodded mindlessly. “Yeah. I can’t eat when I’m this worked up.”
I took a sip of my Coke. “Very well. Then, I guess I should tell you that I heard back from my lawyer.”
Her eyes lit up. “About the custody stuff? What did they say?”
“Well, Marissa sort of shot herself in the foot. She had her lawyer expedite the court hearing, so my lawyer was actually in court this morning. My lawyer presented all of the information as to why I should be awarded full custody as well as custodial parentship over Asia, and Marissa had such a meltdown in court that the judge ruled full custody to me until Marissa sought help for her—oh, what were the words he used—uh, ‘obvious anger and control issues.’”
She snorted. “You’re kidding. She went off in court like that on a judge?”
“My lawyer described it as more of a breakdown than anything else. And I knew it was coming. Marissa was never quite right after she gave birth to Asia, and I kept telling her to get help, but she just kept burying herself in other things. I think there are some unresolved anger issues, sure, but I also think there are some unresolved depression issues and things stemming from her childhood that she needs to get worked out as well.”
“If she works them out, you think you’ll ever go back to a shared-custody agreement?”
I thought hard about her question. “I’m not sure. I think visitation whenever Marissa’s free to do so would be all I’d be able to offer. Asia needs a stable home. She doesn’t need to be bouncing around between two families with two very different perceptions of life. It’ll all be on a day-by-day basis, but for now, Marissa is forced to get the help she needs and Asia doesn’t have to deal with her any longer. So, I’m happy.”
Eva’s smile was genuine, and it melted my heart even more. “Then, I’m happy as well. Have you broken the news to Asia?”
I shook my head. “Doesn’t require a formal conversation in my eyes. She didn’t ever like going with her mother, so one day, when she asks me why she hasn’t seen Mom in a while, I’ll just tell her that Mom’s finally getting some help for some things and when she’s feeling better, she’ll be back around.”
“You’re a phenomenal father, Gavin. Never forget that, okay?”
