“You definitely drove that point home with Richard and me,” I said. “But my business is already quite successful. I mean financially speaking, I can’t complain.”
My father breathed deeply and turned back to his work, resting his tool carefully on the car’s fender. “Well, then let me ask you a question. This new expansion you’re talking about, what are the projected profits?”
“Millions.”
He let out a long whistle, stood back, and looked up at me. “Then why are you even questioning it, son? Look, Julianna’s a nice girl. But don’t throw away an amazing opportunity over a woman. Relationships come and go, but you’ll always need money.”
I shuffled my feet against the cement. “Yeah, no, I know. Do you ever regret getting married to Mom?”
There was a long, awkward silence between us as he thought about what to say. “That’s irrelevant. And like I told you, I love you and your brother and am happy how my life has turned out. But you’re still young. Not every production company has the chance to expand globally.”
I tried to absorb everything that Dad was saying, but my heart kept going back to Julianna and Caley. Maybe I was just wired differently than he was. “But what about if you’re in love?”
He let out a sigh and dropped his wrench on purpose. “Even though I love your mom, that’s an emotion for women, Jake. It something different to men, you know? Women they need that sense of security. Us men? Not so much. I think what you’re feeling is passion, and that’s vastly different than love.”
As I watched him go back to work on his car, I pictured myself working on a vehicle as Caley watched. I thought about how I wanted to have those conversations with her as Julianna cooked dinner. How the thought of not going home to the two of them every night tore me apart inside.
I also didn’t agree with what my father said about love.
All of the women I’d hooked up with before Julianna wanted something more, but not me. What I felt with Julianna was absolutely love.
“I know that I’m in love, Dad,” I said. “And I don’t know what to do.”
“Give it a few days and think about it,” he replied. “I think you’ll come to your senses soon enough.”
I pulled up a lawn chair and sat down next to my father. I admired the pride he took in everything that he did, whether it was his career or fixing his own cars. The older I got, the more I realized that I could always find my dad doing one of two things, working on his vintage cars or pulling long hours at his business. My mom was almost always alone when Richard and I weren’t home.
“You’ve always loved your business, haven’t you?”
He tossed aside a wrench and picked up another tool and started hammering, not looking away from what he was doing when he spoke. “Of course, I did. What’s the point in doing something if you don’t love it?”
He continued hammering away trying to loosen a bolt, and I thought about those words and how it reflected on my relationship with Julianna.
“Don’t you love your production company?”
“Are you kidding me? It’s what I’ve always wanted to do with my life. I mean, I can’t imagine having any other career.”
It was true. Ever since I was a kid, I knew that I wanted to be creative. The second my father saw my passion, he put me to work. He had given me all sorts of projects related to the entertainment industry to spark my interest, so much so that I had to beg him just to have a somewhat normal social life.
“I made sure that you turned that dream into a reality, too, when I introduced you to some of my Hollywood contacts. You never had your head up in the clouds like those other kids. You were always writing up business plans and bouncing ideas off of my head.” He lightly tapped me on the forehead with the hammer.
“It meant not having much of a social life, though.” I regretted the words as soon as they escaped my lips.
I owed my success to my father.
He glanced down at the ground. “Look, I know that I was hard on you and Richard…”
“Just a tad, Dad. I’m surprised you even let us watch television.” I chuckled nervously.
On several occasions, our father had actually hidden the television sets that were in our bedrooms. Not because we’d done anything wrong, but because he thought it was a waste of time.
He put all of his tools away, closed the hood of his car, and sat down across from me. “I’m not perfect, and I never claimed to be. Maybe, I wasn’t always the best husband to your mother, and maybe I should have been around more for you and your brother. But I can honestly say that I wouldn’t have changed a thing. Because I busted my ass, you were able to go to an excellent college, and we lived in a mansion that most people only dream about.”
I stood up and ran my hands through my hair. I had always thought my father was so wise, but standing there in front of him, listening to him talk, I wasn't so sure anymore. It could have been my emotions, or it could have been the truth. At that moment, though, I couldn't tell.
He stood up and patted me hard on the back. “I’m proud of you, son. I hope you know that. Just don’t let me or yourself down because of some broad.”
21
