I walked from plate to plate, putting the smallest piece of chicken on Caley's plate, added some salad and dressing, and a baked potato. Sitting down, I began cutting up Caley's food, something I still did even though I knew at her age, she should probably be doing it herself. Sue me, it was a tiny thing that I couldn't let go of.
“Smaller, Mommy,” she said while holding her silverware. I cut the food up in even smaller bites, waiting for her to be satisfied, “Thank you!”
All three of us ate dinner in the kitchen, making small talk about the cartoons Caley was into and what boys she had a crush on in school.
Annie made a kissy face, and Caley giggled. I shook my head. "It's okay to have crushes, but you are much too young to be worrying about boys. Right now, you need to focus on what when you're at school?"
Caley shrugged, stabbing a bite of chicken with her fork. "Grades."
Annie chuckled. "She's just like me."
We both laughed and happily chatted as we ate. After dinner, Annie and I went to the sink to wash the dishes.
"Mommy, can I play out back until it gets moonlight dark?"
Annie furrowed her brow, glancing at me. "What's moonlight dark?"
"Is your homework done?" I asked Caley, putting my finger up to Annie.
Caley nodded excitedly. "Yep. Finished it all."
I gave her a nod, and she took off. I yelled after her. "Put shoes on! And come in when you're supposed to!"
I chuckled as I turned back to the sink, taking the dish from Annie to put in the dishwasher. "Moonlight dark is something Cam, and she used to say. He told her once she couldn't go out because it was pitch black, and she freaked out. There was something about that saying that scared her. So, he started calling it moonlight dark when the moon was the only thing lighting up the yard."
Annie gave me a pouty look. I shook my head, scooting over and kicking the door shut. I opened up the kitchen curtain so I could see her playing out back on the swing set. "No pouty lips anymore, remember? What's done is done. At least, that's what I'm feeling right this second. Ask me in ten minutes, and I might have a different answer. It's the Wheel of Emotions."
“What did Cam have to say?”
“He’s complaining that I haven’t signed the documents yet,” I said, bent over maneuvering the dishes in the dishwasher to fit. “But I told him that nothing gets signed until my attorney sees it first.”
“You know that’s all Lydia.” Annie insisted, scrubbing the marinara from the plate.
I casually leaned forward, looking to make sure Caley hadn't snuck back in as she did from time to time. But she was happily swinging on the swings, singing to herself. "I know it is. I heard her on the phone."
Annie groaned. “She can’t wait for him to be completely divorced and wrapped even tighter around her finger. You know, she’s probably still holding a grudge about the tension between you guys in high school.”
“Of course it is. That bitch has always hated me, and she hates that he and I will always be connected because of Caley.” I didn’t directly reply to Annie's comment about high school. That was a time that I didn’t like to think about, for many reasons.
“The same Caley that he’s refusing to see,” Annie pointed out.
I felt my heart sink again as I thought about how much Cam was missing out on with Caley. No divorce should ever affect a child. “I don’t know if that’s just her demanding all of his time, though. Although he rarely even calls her. Would it be so hard for him to do a quick, 5-minute call each day?”
“Men are just selfish," Annie growled. "And speaking of selfish, when’s the last timeyouhad any fun?”
“I have fun,” I said, slightly caught off guard by the question.
The truth was, I hadn’t gone out in a long time. Except for crime dramas on television at night, my life was Caley, work, and divorce.
“There’s a new bar downtown that I’m taking you to on Friday night,” my sister said with authority, handing me the last dish. “It’s called Pink and has a lot of good reviews.”
Annie dried her hands on the towel and pulled her phone out, holding it in front of me with the reviews on the screen. I paused for a moment, my eyes lighting up, but quickly shook my head as I closed the dishwasher and turned the knob. “No, that’s okay. Caley and I usually watch a Disney movie on Friday nights.”
Annie put her phone away, folded her arms across her chest, staring at me with pursed lips. “While I could see how building snowmen could be riveting and life-altering for the nine hundredth time, that doesn't count as fun. You are prewired to think that's fun. Besides, you need time away. It won't even cost you anything. I can’t imagine how you keep this house running with just your income, so drinks are on me. I’ll even pay for the babysitter.”
I dried my hands on a dishtowel and shrugged. “I’m actually doing just fine. Cam gave me plenty of money, although I’d gladly give some of it back in exchange for him spending more time with Caley.”
I looked out at my daughter again. This time she was running around in circles but still singing as always.
