The walls closed in as another Monday bled into Tuesday. Weeks had passed since Alessio walked back into my life, and I had nothing to show for it except getting shot at, killing a man, and waking up this morning to realize I was three weeks late for my period. A sense of foreboding clamped down on my body, tensing every muscle. I brushed it off as stress, but when I tried to sit up and nausea sent me running to the bathroom, I had to face facts.
It took longer than usual to shower and dress because I kept having to stop and lean over the toilet to empty my cramping stomach. By the time I left my room, Leo waited for me in the hallway, his eyes bright and shining with the new adventures he’d found impossible to resist in the massive house.
Renzo and Matteo stood at the far end of the hallway, their contrasting frames begging for my attention. I’d barely spoken to them since our night in the bunker. What was I supposed to say? I didn’t regret anything, but I couldn’t let it change the truth. Once this was over, I had every intention of returning to my life and taking Leo with me.
Leo bounded down the hallway, his dark hair flopping with glide on his new skates. “Can we go outside now? I want to try them!” He pointed at his skates and tried to roll onto the carpet. He lurched and staggered, his laughter happy as he toppled sideways onto the nearest padded chair. “Matteo, help.” He held out his arms and waited for Matteo to walk over and take his hands.
The easy grin never left Matteo’s face as he pulled Leo up and guided him down the hallway. “Why don’t I carry you down the stairs. Don’t want you taking a tumble.” He swept Leo up and broke into a loping jog. “You coming, Lila?”
“Be right there.” I stopped alongside Renzo, stuffing the suffocation down where he wouldn’t be able to see it. How was I supposed to keep Leo entertained without falling apart? The uncertainty was too much. Knowing for sure had to be better than this.
Matteo’s laughter matched Leo’s. The two of them raced each other across the foyer, with Leo skating on the white tile and Matteo running behind, letting Leo win every time.
“Something wrong?” Renzo remained as stiff and unyielding as ever, the soldier in him refusing to relent. A part of me wished he would return to the softer, devoted man during that night as he made love to me, but I didn’t want to bring up those feelings between us again.
I’d come to respect his rough exterior and trust his abilities, and now I needed his help. Though I knew what Alessio would say about me leaving the house, this was something I had to take care of myself. “I need to go out. To the pharmacy.”
“Oh?” Nothing moved except his lips and a single tick of his eyebrow. “Why?”
I gave him a point-blank stare. “You really want me to explain?” I forced out a wry chuckle when he refused to answer. “I need women stuff, Renzo. You got a problem with that?”
Silence met my statement.
I gave him time to process what I’d said. Knowing him, he was working out the complications of letting me leave the house versus getting one of his men to go out and buy me tampons. I had to convince him to let me leave, and to let me go into the pharmacy alone.
“I refuse to be a prisoner in this house, and I’m not sending a man to buy my tampons. They’ll probably get the wrong ones.” I turned on my heel. “Make it happen, Renzo.”
I left it there without voicing my full threat. Make it happen or I’d find my own way…without him.
“Are you ready now?” He caught up to me at the top of the stairs. “I can have a car meet us around front.”
“Let’s go.” I took my time on the stairs and called down to Leo and Matteo. “Can you watch Leo for me? I’ll be back soon.”
Questions crossed Matteo’s face, but he nodded. “Sure.”
“Thank you.” I hugged and kissed Leo, much to his dismay. He’d become less accepting of affection since spending time with Matteo, Renzo, and Alessio. It broke my heart to see him trying so hard to be tough.
“Can I get one of those?” Matteo held out his arms and hugged me before I had a chance to protest. While Leo stood with his mouth hanging open, Matteo kissed my cheek. “Be careful.”
My heart soared as Leo snapped his mouth shut and ran to throw his arms around my waist. “Love you, Mama. Be careful.”
“I love you too.” I patted his head and knelt to give him a real hug then tickled his belly until he wiggled and laughed.
Renzo waited for me at the front door, his silent presence pushing down the chaos taking over my mind. His piercing gaze took in everything on our way out the door, down the steps, and into the car. Neither of us spoke during the twenty-minute drive.
I purchased tampons, chocolate, and a pregnancy test, hoping that more than one purchase would hide my prize. Renzo shadowed me through the pharmacy, giving me space but staying close enough to knock me to the ground during another gun fight.
If Renzo suspected anything, he kept quiet about it during the drive back. I rushed into my room, closed and locked the door, and sprinted to the bathroom, unwilling to wait until tomorrow morning even though I should if I wanted a true result.
Ten minutes later, I sat on the edge of the bed with the test in both hands and my lungs refusing to work. A faint positive showed on the test, the tiny line shooting daggers of fear that mingled with an impossible feeling of hope. Fear overruled in the end, and I wrapped the test up in layers of toilet paper, then a pad, until I’d made a mess that I was sure no one would bother to find. I stuffed the whole thing down into the middle of the trash can and washed my hands.
If Renzo thought I was up to something, I wouldn’t put it past him to inform Alessio. Would they bother to pilfer my trash in search of the truth? I remembered the way Alessio looked at Leo and I had my answer. Nothing stopped him once he made up his mind. I had no choice but to keep my pregnancy a secret.
We’d been shot at and almost killed. The new life growing inside me brought too many complications to an already tense situation. Once I knew the truth about the danger closing in, I’d come clean.
“Lila.”Renzo called my name in that low rasp of his that brought images of his body over mine to mind and sent a rush of heat to my core.
I stopped in the middle of the foyer and turned to face him. “What?”
