Both was probably the right answer.
“What are you doing here?”
The way she cut her eyes told me I needed to watch my tone but she completely misunderstood what I was saying. Instead of cussin’ me out the way I knew she wanted to, she took a deep breath summoning patience when I knew I was on her last nerve.A mother’s love is undefeated.
“You thought he was coming to get you out? Like you did all those times for him? Porsha, I raised you to never have an empty purse with a wet ass or to be so dumb, but I don’t know where I messed up with you.”
Well, come through with a KO on the first punch, ma.
“Ma, Link—”
She huffed and cocked her head like she knew this was the angle I would take. “Is out on the block with the last bitch ready to lie to your face when the time comes.”
I didn’t have to say a word because I knew my mother wasn’t a liar. She would tell me the real about the world because she never wanted me to be unprepared or sheltered when it came toanything. I had a bunch of questions that only he could answer but none of them would’ve been good enough. None of them would’ve justified letting me get caught up in some shit or him leaving me inside. That was unforgivable.
Ma didn’t say another word just turned and headed toward her black Benz that was running at the curb. I didn’t speak just followed behind her and got in the passenger seat. I sat down and went right back to what we had been talking about outside.
“Why would he—”
“Why are you in here, Porsha? And I already know these fools were trying to pump you for information and see what you knew and who you knew. If I didn’t want to be known as a mother of a snitch I would’ve told you to dime his ass out.”
My eyes darted to her face and I could see just how serious she was. She had to hate Link something serious for her to even mention something like that.
“We got pulled over because we were arguing and he’d been smoking in the car. They smelled it giving them reason to search and they found his shit. He wouldn’t own up to it so—”
“They brought y’all both in?”
I hesitated and kept my eyes out the front window because I didn’t want to see her face when I answered. “No ma’am.”
“I don’t know how you gone keep your brother from killing that boy.” Ma’s voice sounded all too light for how serious the situation was.
“Honestly, ma, that ain’t even my concern right now.”
“So you seeing the consequences of loving a scrub is what finally did it. Damn, I should’ve had you locked up a long time ago if it was that simple.” I know she ain’t mean no harm, which is why I couldn’t help but laugh at what she was saying.
“You ain’t right saying that when I still smell like inside. I’m just pissed because he said he would clear it up and then he’d come and bond me out. It wasn’t supposed to be this long.”
“He apparently had other shit to do. When I was on my way to get you I saw him on the block. Who you think he on the block with?”
All that anger at the situation went out the window as my pride took over. I just knew he hadn’t been dealing with this bitch yet again. And leaving me in jail for his shit to do so. “Well, that shit ain’t about to fly.”
Her hand flew over my chest to stop me like I was about to hop outta the car on some crazy shit. “The last thing you about to do is fight over a nigga who ain’t done shit but bring you down in the last year. You ain’t even supposed to be in Houston no more. What happened to the hair school in Dallas you wanted to go to? But you’re here what? Wasting time over a boy who can’t even figure out how to take care of you? Who’s so busy trying to look good for his niggas that he neglects his woman.”
I’d taken plenty of classes and already had my beautician’s license, but there was a specific person up north I wanted to take classes with. She selected talent to work in her shop if they were promising enough after they took her course. Some folks saw it as a scam but I saw it as an opportunity to get my foot in the door. I could learn from her, work for a minute with her and then come back home and open my own business. But the time was never right for me to take the workshops because they lasted for six weeks. Link couldn’t survive on his own for six damn days let alone six weeks. So I’d kept putting it off until he agreed to come with me.
“I was trying to save up enough for the living expenses so I didn’t have to depend on you or Man to help me out.”
“And you thought riding around with him was going to be the way to get it? Helping him make plays was going to do something other than get you caught up with him. You could’ve been had the money but you were too busy being the safety net to a boy who don’t ever wanna be a man. Can’t say that I blamehim. You working yourself to death to help him out and that other girl is dumb enough to take whatever scraps he gives out all for the sake of family. And holding something over your head whenever she can. I’m waiting on you to get tired of this shit and choose yourself.”
My mother thought she was slick but I knew what she was doing. She didn’t bother to say much, just drove by the block in her very recognizable car so that he could see that I could see him. His daughter’s mother was fucking preening since it was clear it was the first time he’d paid her any attention in a minute but it hurt that when shit got tough, he couldn’t man up.
The whole situation was fucked up. I’d been friends with Trenell since elementary school. When she got pregnant senior year she wouldn’t tell anybody who the father was. Folks were talking all kinds of shit about her but she never said a word. My mama helped throw her baby shower cause her folks ain’t really have it, but we made sure that baby Trinity had everything she needed. We’d grown apart after graduation since I went straight to school and working and she was being a mom. I met Levon known to me as Link, at the club one night. We’d been together almost a year before I realized that he was Trinity’s father. They both assured me that everything was cool between them, but time and time again showed me that there was still something lingering there.
My mama had been right, I’d put so much shit on hold for him. The dreams I had that had been put on the back burner because he’d guilt me about leaving him behind. He’d chose me over the ready-made family she offered him, or at least that’s what he always said when he held that shit over my head. But looking at them hugged up, back like he never left, I didn’t feel a drop of jealousy. I felt relief. His too big polo and long denim shorts were different from what he’d had on when we got stopped. It showed that he’d never had any intention ofcoming to get me. That realization sank in, breaking any of the remaining bonds my heart might’ve had toward his.
I’d rolled my window down as soon as we’d gotten close to where they were. Now, I’d seen everything I needed to. Shaking my head, I shifted in my seat and saw the look of confusion on his face that I wasn’t stopping and causing a scene. My temper was bad especially when I felt disrespected. I never apologized for it because I got it honest. My mama and daddy were wild cards, but this wasn’t a situation where I needed to wild out. I need to show this nigga that he wasn’t irreplaceable.
To the left to the left.
