The honesty in her admission took my breath away. "Then don't go back," I suggested softly. "Move forward instead."
Emily's eyes filled with tears again. "It's not that simple."
“It can be," I countered. "Just for now. Just in this moment."
She looked down at Barnaby, then back at me. "Would you... would you stay until I fall asleep?"
My heart stopped for a moment then seemed to pound out of my chest. "Of course, little one."
Emily rose from the floor, still clutching the bear. She approached the bed hesitantly, as if afraid it might disappear if she moved too quickly. When she reached it, she set Barnaby down and ran her hand over the soft comforter.
"Do you want to be my Daddy?" The question was barely audible, and her eyes were fixed on the bear rather than meeting mine.
My heart thundered in my chest. "Very much so."
Her eyes finally lifted to mine, filled with a mixture of hope and terror. "I don't know if I can."
"You don't have to decide right now," I assured her, though everything in me ached to scoop her up and hold her close. "Right now, we focus on keeping you safe and stopping these people from hurting any more children. But I want you to know that this room—and everything in it—is here whenever you might need it. We don't have to do anything you're not ready for, but you need to pick a safeword."
Her lips parted in astonishment. "Why do I need a safeword?"
"Because I'm going to be your Daddy, and there are rules."
She blinked. I could practically hear the word 'rules' bouncing around in her head, and probably my certainty I was going to be her Daddy.
"What sort of rules?" she asked breathlessly.
"Ones we'd agree on, but not putting yourself in danger is non-negotiable."
She pouted quite adorably, and I desperately wanted to kiss those pursed lips. But then she gnawed on them. "I haven't been with anyone in a long time. And never with someone who knows... that part of me."
Understanding dawned. "The Little side of you doesn't change how I see you, Emily. If anything, it makes me want you more."
"How can that be possible?" she whispered.
"Because it means you trust me enough to show me all of you. Not just the strong, capable social worker, but the woman underneath." I cupped her face in my hands. "I want all of you, Emily. Every single part."
Her eyes rounded and her lips parted but she let me lead her to the bed, my heart pounding in my chest.
"What's your safeword?"
"Blue."
I paused and then muttered in amusement, "Of course it is." She couldn't haveredlike everyone else. But that was one of the things I loved… nopelikedabout her. Yes, definitelyliked. I sighed, knowing it was already too late and I was fooling myself.
She nodded, a small, fragile movement. "Can I... can I just sit here for a little while?"
"Of course," I said, rising to give her privacy.
"Wait," she called softly. "Would you... would you stay?"
I settled back down, my heart full. "As long as you want."
We sat in comfortable silence, Emily still clutching the bear while I leaned against the foot of the canopy bed. After several minutes, she spoke again.
"I used to have a bear like this when I was little," she said, her voice taking on a softer quality. "His name was Barnaby as well. My mom threw him away when I was seven. Said I was too old for such things."
The casual cruelty of it made my jaw clench, but I kept my voice gentle. "That must have been very hard for you."
